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How do you manage to keep state primary friendships in teens
Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2013 12:15 pm
by loveyouradvice
Hi ...love anyone's tips...
DD has gorgeous friends at her state primary - and obviously all living close!
I'm keen to help her maintain these for lots of reasons - but know it will be challenging when she goes to a private secondary and they don't.
I'd love your advice - thoughts - etc on this!
Re: How do you manage to keep state primary friendships in t
Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2013 12:37 pm
by KS10
DS had a lovely group of friends at primary and they keep in touch by organising the odd trip to the cinema. There doesn't seem to be much time for anything else. I think it takes just one proactive person to organise the thing and ring around.
Re: How do you manage to keep state primary friendships in t
Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2013 12:44 pm
by hermanmunster
Some at DDs school arranged a few things - the 18 girls had gone to about 7 schools. they met up a couple of times but it faded out in the end as most had lots of new friends at their new schools and a lot less in common.
your D may find that she is the one who will have to do the arranging and keeping in touch - i went off to another school and found it hard to keep contact with my old friends who saw each other during the day .. tended to miss out on quite a lot but then had new friend so made up for it. of course this was pre internet / mobile phone or indeed more than one phone in the whole house
Re: How do you manage to keep state primary friendships in t
Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2013 12:55 pm
by agathachristie
Quite possibly the friends who go to the local school might Not remain friends. Secondary school intake is so large that often by the second term kids who entered from the same primary for a number of reasons (different classes come to mind) make new friends..
Re: How do you manage to keep state primary friendships in t
Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2013 1:09 pm
by tigger2
Agree with Hermanmunster...I think that, initially anyway,your dd will have to make the initial effort as she will be the one out of the loop. It's true that they become so absorbed with their new school/life/friends that your dd might not want to keep up as much as you would like her to. It's a different situation but ds went off to an indie in year 7 (he's now in year 8 ) and his friends went off to other schools. We thought that initially ds would benefit from seeing his primary friends but we realised within the first fortnight that he needed time to adjust to his new situation so we waited until half term and then they had a great week together and since then they all get together a lot ...sometimes with their new friends. I say that it is a different situation because its ds I am talking about ...I suspect dd will be another story altogether
Re: How do you manage to keep state primary friendships in t
Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2013 1:14 pm
by pheasantchick
Facebook - my dc has kept in contact with a lot of friends via Facebook. (I know this won't be a popular suggestion, so I'm running away and hiding)
Re: How do you manage to keep state primary friendships in t
Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2013 3:10 pm
by loveyouradvice
Tigger that is good to hear - suspect DD will be similarly poleaxed....
It feels particularly important since she is likely to go to a private school a far distance away so good to have friends on the doorstep too!
I am quite up for helping her coordinate and doing things like film night and popcorn here for kids and suspect you're right - tis us it benefits the most so Ill help put in the effort.
Re: How do you manage to keep state primary friendships in t
Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2013 4:35 pm
by lefol
Hi loveyouradvice,
Ds1 went to a state primary and indie for secondary school. I made sure that he kept in touch with about 4 or 5 from his primary school. They meet up at half term, summer holidays and in between through phone contact . You sometimes have to remind them to ring their old friends once a month just to keep the contact going . With bbm , what's app and text messages , it is quite easy to maintain the contact . I have always felt it important for DS to have a wide circle of sensible friends regardless of their social status as there is a danger of them becoming self absorbed if they only mix in the same circles . Kids socialise better than adults and I am sure your dd will be absolutely fine .
Re: How do you manage to keep state primary friendships in t
Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2013 5:06 pm
by Pumpkin Pie
pheasantchick wrote:Facebook - my dc has kept in contact with a lot of friends via Facebook. (I know this won't be a popular suggestion, so I'm running away and hiding)
Pheasantchick, no need to run and hide. Used correctly FB can be a great way of keeping in touch. I have managed to set up a reunion page for my old GS and Uni via FB and have tracked down lots of old friends, who are all delighted that we are all now back in touch.
Re: How do you manage to keep state primary friendships in t
Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2013 7:33 pm
by instantsunshine
Don't forget minimum age for facebook is 13 years (sorry to sound prudish but ...)