Scholarship vs Bursary

[UmSusu]

From experience, a few weeks in and nobody will care who the scholars are, except the HT who might keep an eye on whether she is keeping up with her grades. If there is not much between the schools then I would pick the one that is logistically easier. Parent should have final say but if the choice is between boarding and day school and your child prefers day school then you should go with that - she really must want to go to a boarding school and you be convinced that is the most appropriate route for her in order to decide on that - it involves a big change in both your lives.

[kenyancowgirl]

Just to put my two penneth in...I am a young for the year child - not as young as your dd - I was sent to a boarding school on a scholarship - I can honestly say that the "scholar" badge is nothing more than a hindrance - the staff are all aware and if your dd's grades slip, I am fairly confident that she will be reminded of her responsibilities - she will be required to do a whole lot of extra things for the school (in the same way prefects are) yet still keep up with her grades - and the kids won't give a monkeys about whether she is a scholar or not. You will probably find that there are a lot of them - in the school where my ds1 was offered a 100% scholarship - although his was the only full one in the year, out of 150 kids, 40 or 50 were "scholars" as the amount varies so much - not that unusual really. We decided against it. As an August baby, I would not send her to boarding unless she was 100% for it - or if she changes her mind in a few years. it is a massive, massive thing being sent away from home, which may well have repercussions for years to come - I am 40 something now and my parents still regret the decision they made back then.

[Kingfisher]

Hello mkl. I didn't realise your DD was so young. I should side with the day school in those circumstances. She sounds very young, in terms of her attitude, and I am sure she would appreciate staying in the family home. I know the boarding school sounds lovely and it certainly looks amazing but how would you feel about not having her around? It isn't all about the education. She needs to feel nurtured, supported, reassured and loved.

11and one month is ever so young to be moving out, in my opinion.

[Amber]

Hello mkl. I didn't realise your DD was so young. I should side with the day school in those circumstances. She sounds very young, in terms of her attitude, and I am sure she would appreciate staying in the family home. I know the boarding school sounds lovely and it certainly looks amazing but how would you feel about not having her around? It isn't all about the education. She needs to feel nurtured, supported, reassured and loved.

11and one month is ever so young to be moving out, in my opinion.

Likewise. I hadn't appreciated all the subtleties of the day/boarding thing. Personally speaking I couldn't have sent any of mine away to school anyway,but at such a young age it would surely be very hard for her. And you, no?

[mkl]

Thank you all for your thoughtful comments and valuable insights.

We just turned down a scholarship worth £150K.

Jean.Brodie, the scholarship would have covered all meals and curriculum trips. Zero food and transportation cost would have saved us approx £3500 a year (vs state grammar), more than enough to cover uniforms and annual skiing trips

The state grammar would be the most expensive option - transpo cost of £1200/year plus lunches. The transpo for the bursary school is about £800, free lunch and curriculum trips.

[Kingfisher]

But the scholarship was not for the full sum of money whereas you are on 100% bursary now in school 1. Be thankful - I know your Dd will be! You will probably find that there will be help with trips and so on for bursary children.

Look to the future now and forget what might have been. Let your Dd see how pleased you are. You have made the decision and it is the right one, in my opinion. Hurrah!

[Sassie'sDad]

If you really want to do your child a favour let them board regardless of your own personal views. My daughter would kill to be a boarder at Rugby. Many of her closest friends are boarders and they truly have he best of both worlds. Remember boarding is a world away from what it was. My teenager (like her friends) has mostly steered clear of school socials until now. I pointed out she will need to cope with the social side (and boys) at uni, so it will not hurt to get started now. She came home saying she had had a terrific time.