I think Victor has hit the nail on the head...
"I think parents need to be more realistic about which schools are going to best suit their children based both on their natural level of ability and their personality."
I am aware of a parent who sent their child to a private primary, they didn't pass the 11+, they persuaded the head of the private primary to change their recommendation for the child (
) and are now paying (goodness knows how much) for the help of goodness knows who (barristers and such like) to get them through an appeal....at what point should parents sit back and say well, hey, perhaps my child really isn't bright enough for this school? And what about those poor parents who don't have the luxury of money to get the rules bent a bit for them?! Slightly off topic, I know, but it really irks me.
I certainly would not contemplate paying a tutor to help my children in secondary school - if they were struggling in any subject, I would expect them to approach the teachers - or indeed the teachers to approach them and us - and work together to address the issue.