I just wondered if I could ask advice from any parents who have found themselves in this position.
Three children: My DD1 is at a grammar school, DS1 passed 11+ but is unlikely to get a place, DD2 has moderate learning difficulties so 11+ not even a consideration. We long ago realised a (particular) private school would suit DD2's needs.
Our local comp is not a good fit for DS1 for many reasons, so he has now sat for some indies. (We'll find out for sure whether or not he'll get a grammar school place in March which, annoyingly, would be the ideal school for him. It's very unlikely, but if he does my problem becomes less of an issue!) We have openly chatted as a family about why three different schools will fit our three very different children and that we want all of them to be happy at school as a first consideration.
DD1, however, has suddenly started to moan constantly about the situation e.g. how her holidays will be shorter than siblings if they are both at indies, how the classrooms at her school are awful, how her siblings will enjoy better sports facilities (she seems to have forgotten that she actually doesn't much like sports anyway, whereas her siblings both really love playing sports) etc etc
She was desperate to go to the grammar school at the time, but has now wiped that from her mind.
I think some of this is down to being a whingy teenager but I am concerned, I suppose, that she has a point - her school is excellent, but it is not pretty. Her holidays will be shorter.
So I wondered how other parents handled similar situations. I don't want to send my DS1 to a comp that doesn't suit him just to keep DD1 happy, and I don't want DD1 to feel 'short changed' because we've had to pay for her siblings' education but not hers.
I'd be really grateful for advice.
Thank you in advance.
We tend to look at what we do not have, especially as children or teenagers. How about you turn this around? Your daughter had the opportunity to go to an excellent grammar school and your other children will not due to other reasons, especially your second daughter. She's not turning around asking why she has been affected with a mild learning difficulty!
As a parent, you are right to give your children the best you can within your means. Your are taking into consideration your children's strengths.
I presume your daughter is at an all girls school?
Could you appeal if your son doesn't get into the grammar?
Can you afford sending all three to a private school? If so, I would put all the money on an account for your eldest daughter so that she can use that money to pay for her university fees.
Good luck with your negotiations!