11 Plus Exams Forum

My dd sat 11+ for NLCS, St Helens, St Albans High School and Habs (as a backup as we hated Habs but it has a good reputation). She got an interview for all of them, a scholarship interview at St A! In the end, she got an offer at St H and St A. She got a 50% scholarship at both and we were very proud! However, she didn't get NLCS or Habs. We didn't mind, and she didn't care about Habs, but she wanted NLC more than anything! We are sending her to St H, but all her friends at school got in and she was the only one! Please can someone give advice, and I will make my dd read it herself just to give her a bit of encouragement. She is on the waiting for NLCS, but she wants to be able to go into school and say it. I hear the same thing every day from her, and it breaks my heart at how sad she is. She currently goes to Northwood College.
Please can someone give advice as if they were saying it themselves to their child! Thank you!

Hi Exam Mama,

I am not familiar with St Helen's School for two reasons - I only have boys and I'm in a wrong part of the country, but out of curiosity, I went to their website and watched their videos. I was so impressed! Not just because the school and the grounds look lovely, but mainly because every single girl in those videos is happy and relaxed, whether in a science lesson, playing sports or in a ballet class - and how many schools have ballet classes for their pupils?

One of the girls in the second video talked about their induction course, how enjoyable it was and how it made it very easy for her to make new friends and settle into the school very quickly. Would it help if your daughter watched those videos again? Do you know when the induction activities are due to take place? If it's going to be a while yet, maybe they would agree to you and your daughter having another tour of the school, so that she can put her mind at rest? I'm sure they would be fine with that.

I understand your daughter feels upset that she didn't get into the school she wanted, and perhaps worried that she will not know anyone in her new school, but there will be loads of other girls in the same situation and they will all want to make new friends. Also, going to a different school does not mean that she has to lose contact with her current friends - weekends will be there to catch up and share experiences.

St. Helen's looks fabulous, I wish I went to a school like that!

St Helen's is lovely. With fee rises at NLCS at about 7% a year , you'll certainly be better off financially if she goes there.

I'd be delighted for her, personally. There are people on this forum who haven't managed to get into any school at all; your DD got into several. I wouldn't waste time thinking what might have been. Enjoy what you have.

Oh - and current fees are £15,400 for St Helen's and £18,300 for NLCS - but I get the impression that the money doesn't matter ...

It is not a bad thing to go to a new school that current friends are not going to. It is a great opportunity to make new friends and loads of girls will be in the same boat. Both my DD's went up to seniors without any friends from primary and made new friends very quickly. They also keep in touch with their old friends and meet up sometimes at weekends and holidays.
Just out of curiosity why isn't she staying at Northwood?

Wow!! A 50% scholarship at St Helen's is unheard of. Girls in my daughter's year got 30% maximum and turned downs places at NLCS for St Helen's. St Helen's know what kind of girl they want to tempt to join and your DD must be it!!

Excellent scholarship results - we were offered a 10% scholarship at St Helens but turned it down for HBS., I thought St Albans only ever offered 10% for scholarships but I guess times have moved on.

Gosh! What is there to hate about Habs? You can say it didn't really suit you but hate is a really strong word to use about a school you actually applied for and went to interview for. No wonder you didn't get an offer. If you hate it that would have dripped from her at interview. They must have been really puzzled as to why you were wasting their time and yours. No student who hates any school is going to make it past interview without the school noticing their opinion!

If you got to interview at NCLS then she is academically able as was evident out by her other results but when you have lots of academic applicants then you are looking for something more from the girls when they come to interview.

Did you chase it and contact them and write to them and ask for feedback, thereby showing your passion for the school? A dd I know wrote her own personal letter and very shortly afterwards went from waiting list to offer.

St Helens is a wonderful school and I know some lovely girls going there in September. I am amazed that you are not congratulating yourself on all the money you are saving.

Your daughter is a very lucky girl. You have already paid for seven years of prep and now you want to turn down a 50% scholarship at a great school to pay seven years of full whack at another one.

How many of her friends at Northwood got NLCS? What is it that she wants from NLCS apart from her friends going there? I think you should strongly remind her about all the girls who got nothing. DG

I know it is hard not to get your first choice but perhaps your daughter needs to recognise how luck she is. There are many people who can't afford even with a 50% bursary to send their children to a good independent school. Lots of children missed out on their preferred state secondary school places and have no option than to go to the poorly performing school allocated to them. If I were you I would sympathise a bit then point out to her how really lucky she is.

copella wrote:I know it is hard not to get your first choice but perhaps your daughter needs to recognise how luck she is. There are many people who can't afford even with a 50% bursary to send their children to a good independent school. Lots of children missed out on their preferred state secondary school places and have no option than to go to the poorly performing school allocated to them. If I were you I would sympathise a bit then point out to her how really lucky she is.

Given your feelings about Habs, you could point out that at least she didn't get an offer from only them...