If Son Fails Exam Is That It?

Independent Schools as an alternative to Grammar

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Josbicks
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2016 10:02 pm

If Son Fails Exam Is That It?

Post by Josbicks »

My son has been at private schools since 3 and is now going to sit exams to get into 3 private schools. Basically he is not academic at all and really struggles and his school is saying he might not reach the standard.

I guess I just want to know if that is it....he won't get in to an Independent School full stop? Has anyone else had this problem, what happened, did they go to state school ??

Thank you, i'm very worried, the catchment school is terrible
Daogroupie
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Joined: Wed Mar 04, 2009 3:01 pm
Location: Herts

Re: If Son Fails Exam Is That It?

Post by Daogroupie »

Hopefully the private school that you have been paying for since he was 3 has a secondary school and he will get a place in it.

Locally I know of parents that pull their dcs out of excellent state primaries and move them to the preps of local private school just to guarantee them a palce.

Ironic as our local primary has 100% success rate at all the local private schools.

Are you working closely with the exam formats of these three schools? DG
Ladymuck
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Joined: Wed Jul 01, 2009 2:04 pm

Re: If Son Fails Exam Is That It?

Post by Ladymuck »

Usually your prep school head would be able to advise on a suitable secondary school - there are many less selective independent schools which offer great facilities, fabulous pastoral care, smaller class sizes.

I think that trying to reach a minimum standard for an exam through coaching which may then be unsustainable going forward may leave your ds at the bottom of the ability range in his teenage, and highly formative, years.

But if you are in the independent sector, your head teacher should be able to advise you on suitable options.
loobylou
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Re: If Son Fails Exam Is That It?

Post by loobylou »

Which part of the country are you in? There are plenty of independent schools who cater for the less academic so it sounds as though it would be preferable to look at those. If you say where you are there will probably be people on this forum who can let you know options in your area. However your head should also be able to signpost you appropriately. Good luck.
kenyancowgirl
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Joined: Mon Oct 21, 2013 8:59 pm

Re: If Son Fails Exam Is That It?

Post by kenyancowgirl »

And, I would gently ask, are you happy that he is getting something out of the school he is currently in? Excellent pastoral support or sport or drama - something that he is good at? Because all kids have their strength and I assume/hope the school you have paid for him to be at from 3 have found his strength and are nuturing that talent?

Most prep schools are linked with a secondary, and the one thing they do is prepare their kids for transition to that secondary - if they have had your son from age 3 they have had plenty of time to help prepare him - and, if they still think he is not going to reach the standard, I would expect, that one of the things you have been paying for all these years, is their expertise in suggesting suitable alternatives for his particular strengths and talents.

But please also remember..."Has anyone else had this problem, what happened, did they go to state school ??"....this does come across a little "oh, god forbid, not a state school... as if it is some horrid disease!!! Possibly they did go...the vast majority of the British population do, after all, go to state school and the vast majority do, after all, come out and make their way very successfully in the world!!

As Loobylou et al say - if you give your location in the country, and maybe the sorts of things your son loves (drama, art etc) plenty of people will be able to suggest alternatives.
Josbicks
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Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2016 10:02 pm

Re: If Son Fails Exam Is That It?

Post by Josbicks »

Tks for the replies everyone. The prep school he is at is only 3 to 11 so he has to find a new school. We are working with the teachers and head mistress and have parents evening on Tuesday where we will discuss and ask more.

At the last meeting the head teacher said our son will be better off in private school as he would get lost in a big state school as he needs the attention and arm round the shoulder...she did advise what private school she thinks he is suited to so let's see...we have also looked at all the other non selective independent schools and the state schools

Re state schools, I would have no problem with him going and would probably get a tutor on the side but I really do not like our catchment area school, neither did out son

Let's see how Tuesday goes..
kenyancowgirl
Posts: 6738
Joined: Mon Oct 21, 2013 8:59 pm

Re: If Son Fails Exam Is That It?

Post by kenyancowgirl »

...Please do your OWN research into state schools....the pastoral care and support (including SEN should it be needed) is often FAR better than in some private schools - don't just look at independents (with all due respect to your head, it may be a long time since they have stepped foot in a state school, let alone worked in one).

When you go into to the state schools though, you have to have the vision to look beyond the facilities - sometimes the buildings may look a bit tired but it is what goes on inside them that counts - I would far rather have old tired buildings and inspiring teachers who make something out of nothing than facilities my son doesn't use that I am paying for and teachers who have every tool under the sum but deliver mediocre lessons.
kittymum
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Joined: Thu Dec 11, 2008 10:42 pm

Re: If Son Fails Exam Is That It?

Post by kittymum »

As KCG says please do your own research into state schools- I work in SEN in a state school and we get many children transferring to us from Indies as to be frank our provision is head and shoulders above most in the private sector.

Your sons school should be helping you manage his transition- this is one of the things you are paying for - what specifically are they doing to help? Is he year 6?
Josbicks
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2016 10:02 pm

Re: If Son Fails Exam Is That It?

Post by Josbicks »

He is year 6....I have nothing against state schools and buildings are buildings...I wouldn't be so shallow to consider how a school looks!!!

We have looked at all the state schools...like 1 of them but it's out of catchment...
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