Multiple Offer Holders

[Catseye]

Can I just remind members we have have a very self-selective forum of highly motivated parents/DC.

There is nowt wrong with most comprehensive schools in fact using the standard measure often used on here the -Oxbridge entry > 60% come from comp schools that trend will increase with time and all those who have spent a fortune on private education will in the fullness of time will be pulling their hair out.

I have no axe to grind I have a child in a high performing Indie school , although I admit, I doubt he would of got A* in Spanish or English at igcse level but his projected A levels would of been the same if he went to a fully comprehensive (all ability) school, unfortunately we don't have any in Trafford

Could it be that you have been saved from the biggest waste of money ever ? There is nothing special about private/selective education you are ultimately compared to your contextual peers.

[maroussia]

Then tell the secondary school that....tell her that you believe she is capable and that you expect her to make above average progress and would appreciate them keepig her nose to the grindstone in that respect. They will appreciate knowing that she has supportive and interested parents at home. With regards to when you try and tell her what to do/being a pushy parent etc...welcome to the pre teen years - in her eyes you will be "the worst parent and her best friend" all rolled into one - knowing which role you are supposed to be filling is challenge not listed in the parenting manual!

Yeah, I have (had) to be more straight-forward with the school, I was too modest and was listening to 'she'll thrive at whichever school she ends up at 'cos she's able and keen' for years. I'm having a meeting with her current teacher tomorrow, so I'll rehearse:) thank you!

As for pre-teens years, it feels like she's been there since her birth, keeping me on my toes big time! I know, it's more to come....)

[Daogroupie]

Your dd has the right to be challenged at school. If this is not happening, ask for some more challenging worksheets and this is not forthcoming then make an appointment with the governor that is responsible for the subjects where she is not getting hard enough work.

I know primary students who go to their local secondary for extension maths classes. There might be something available for her if you do a bit of digging. DG

[WorriedSick]

I am overwhelmed at the response to my post. Thank you to everyone who has posted encouraging words and those who have posted what must not have been easy for them. We are all so motivated and regardless of what anyone says it is crushing to receive a rejection at any age. Even more so to get a rejection for one's DC. However rejection at 11+ does not define a child. The motivation each parent has will help DCs through whichever school they attend. I know of a child a few years ago who did not receive any offers from any indie, did not pass any of the grammars and only got the local comp which was on special measures. With parents who appreciate the value of education and who did not rest, the child is now 2nd year at Oxford studying engineering. 11+ could be a very happy occasion which causes wild rejoicing and celebrations or it may mean questioning your own parenting ability and your DC's ability. Please don't. Not every school is suitable for every child. The dark clouds will lift eventually and the sadness of rejection will fade as you watch your child grow and thrive in whichever school they end up in. I still hope that those who are rejoicing spare a moment or two for those who are not and rather than hold on to unwanted offers release the places for others who are on waiting list. However not being on a waiting list does not mean the end of educational success - they are only 10/11 year olds and the world is their oyster

[fatherof2]

I am overwhelmed at the response to my post. Thank you to everyone who has posted encouraging words and those who have posted what must not have been easy for them. We are all so motivated and regardless of what anyone says it is crushing to receive a rejection at any age. Even more so to get a rejection for one's DC. However rejection at 11+ does not define a child. The motivation each parent has will help DCs through whichever school they attend. I know of a child a few years ago who did not receive any offers from any indie, did not pass any of the grammars and only got the local comp which was on special measures. With parents who appreciate the value of education and who did not rest, the child is now 2nd year at Oxford studying engineering. 11+ could be a very happy occasion which causes wild rejoicing and celebrations or it may mean questioning your own parenting ability and your DC's ability. Please don't. Not every school is suitable for every child. The dark clouds will lift eventually and the sadness of rejection will fade as you watch your child grow and thrive in whichever school they end up in. I still hope that those who are rejoicing spare a moment or two for those who are not and rather than hold on to unwanted offers release the places for others who are on waiting list. However not being on a waiting list does not mean the end of educational success - they are only 10/11 year olds and the world is their oyster

Really well said, every cloud will have a silver lining. My son was rejected by a particular school at 7 plus and he said I hope it doesn't happen again mummy, I shall try harder at 11 plus, where there's a will there's a way..
13plus is still an option.

Please be reassured that I have released all offers bar one now for our, I hope and pray that helps at least 4 hardworking children.

Fantastic post!

[Bee]

I am overwhelmed at the response to my post. Thank you to everyone who has posted encouraging words and those who have posted what must not have been easy for them. We are all so motivated and regardless of what anyone says it is crushing to receive a rejection at any age. Even more so to get a rejection for one's DC. However rejection at 11+ does not define a child. The motivation each parent has will help DCs through whichever school they attend. I know of a child a few years ago who did not receive any offers from any indie, did not pass any of the grammars and only got the local comp which was on special measures. With parents who appreciate the value of education and who did not rest, the child is now 2nd year at Oxford studying engineering. 11+ could be a very happy occasion which causes wild rejoicing and celebrations or it may mean questioning your own parenting ability and your DC's ability. Please don't. Not every school is suitable for every child. The dark clouds will lift eventually and the sadness of rejection will fade as you watch your child grow and thrive in whichever school they end up in. I still hope that those who are rejoicing spare a moment or two for those who are not and rather than hold on to unwanted offers release the places for others who are on waiting list. However not being on a waiting list does not mean the end of educational success - they are only 10/11 year olds and the world is their oyster

Very well said, I hope you will receive good news soon, all the best.

We will release our others options tomorrow so that another deserving DD gets a good news

[IWish]

I am overwhelmed at the response to my post. Thank you to everyone who has posted encouraging words and those who have posted what must not have been easy for them. We are all so motivated and regardless of what anyone says it is crushing to receive a rejection at any age. Even more so to get a rejection for one's DC. However rejection at 11+ does not define a child. The motivation each parent has will help DCs through whichever school they attend. I know of a child a few years ago who did not receive any offers from any indie, did not pass any of the grammars and only got the local comp which was on special measures. With parents who appreciate the value of education and who did not rest, the child is now 2nd year at Oxford studying engineering. 11+ could be a very happy occasion which causes wild rejoicing and celebrations or it may mean questioning your own parenting ability and your DC's ability. Please don't. Not every school is suitable for every child. The dark clouds will lift eventually and the sadness of rejection will fade as you watch your child grow and thrive in whichever school they end up in. I still hope that those who are rejoicing spare a moment or two for those who are not and rather than hold on to unwanted offers release the places for others who are on waiting list. However not being on a waiting list does not mean the end of educational success - they are only 10/11 year olds and the world is their oyster

Thank you WorriedSick for your wonderful words and for encouraging swift return of unwanted places, much appreciated.

[Amber]

I don't ever remember a thread like this on the forum before (and you will see I have been here a long, long time), so just wanted to say how nice it is to see it used in this way. And also to say that it really will be all right in the end, no matter what life feels like now. School is just school, it isn't life - and there is so much more to a child than which school he or she goes to. Even these 'top' indies have their share (more than, sometimes) of problems with behaviour, drugs, drink, the lot - nowhere is exempt and paying for it just means a more expensive set of the same problems which all schools and kids face from time to time. And going to a 'sink' comprehensive like I did does not mean your life is over either. A child with supportive and loving parents will generally make a decent fist out of whatever life throws at him or her, and the odd knock-back can be very character building.

Good luck Iwish, and all the others in your position. It will be all right in the end.

[kenyancowgirl]

+1

[IWish]

+1

Amber and kenyacowgirl thank you for putting everything into perspective, much appreciated.