Hello All,
I just need reassurance that it will not be end of world for my DS. We are waiting for all inner city indie school results. Fingers crossed he will be OK. Although I appear calm in public but very nervous about all this honestly. I don't want my impatience transfer to DS so just get nervous in private. Anyone else feeling the same way?

BTW, I hated this whole process of admission. The experience was so Medieval - I bet there is a better way to judge students than tests and interview.

Please support me

I sympathise. Hopefully you have applied to a range of schools, from less selective to fiercely competitive ones, or have a decent state school back up?

Been there, and I totally agree. Everyone kept telling me, your DD will end up where she's supposed to be, and I remember finding that really irritating...however...all of DD's friends, whilst many not getting what they originally wanted, are settled and very happy where they finally ended up.

Well currently only applied to selected few as was told by DS school that he will get in to the fierce competitive school. But now I feel very nervous and stupid. Maybe I should have applied more widely. I was not aware of lots of information before I jumped into this process. Having gone through this I am more aware. Fingers crossed and hoping no one crosses my path during *this* phase. Just joking I will not be rude to anyone.

Don’t worry about not choosing widely. I shut myself away from “people” during this time. I’m fact during most of the 11 plus process. We got on with what was more important and that was ensuring we were calm, focused and didn’t have friends and family questioning why we do things the way we do. Mindfulness is very important.

I kept busy at work and then I kept busy at home. Spoke little about how I felt to others. Main focus was to create a calm home and focus on the weeks ahead. I made it very clear to my DD that it was not the end of the world if we didn’t get any of the schools we sat. Incidentally she was ill during the Habs exam and hospitalised after her exam. Insisted on going to her Thursday and Friday tests. Friends who found out were texting me like crazy. Some concerned and some sending commiserations. I guess for them this was one less competitor! “Oh dear, all that hard work down the drain rubbish”
I ignored them all until Saturday. Focused on my child and waited for results day patiently. Not expecting interviews. Anyway all worked out well. She is definitely where she should be. Most of her friends who didn’t get the schools they sat are now absolutely settled and love where they are. So, you have every right to be nervous but remember it’s not the end of the world as you have other options. I had to take one of these options with my eldest and in fact it was the right decision for her as she flourished there and has a life long passion for learning. Although all grown up now - she is ready for another move!

Go for a run, bake a cake, start painting! I did all the things I’d never attempted before.

Good luck!

...have been for a run, baked a cake, painted a landscape (and organized an art exhibition) ... but the sky is still falling! A first timer and limited applications due to overseas residence. Have reassured the DD and am faking confidence and repeating the mantra " all will be good in the end" but am not fooling myself! Good to hear others are in the same position. Just been told by LU that will only email results on 9/02 (with mail going out on 8/02) so another DAY! More disconcerting is a post that SPGS notify the primary school the week before?! Unhappy about that. Thanks for sharing and any advice, kind words, reality checks are welcome.

Yes we are expecting first result on 9/02 as well. One half of me feels like becoming a hermit and other half wants to scream and shout due to nervousness. The only best thing is DS is busy in school as usual and not thinking much about it. There is a lot of pressure from school and mates. I know school has asked them not to discuss but they are discussing at free time. Honestly, I am also busy at work but a part me wants to transfigure into school to see how this decision-making process is done. I know it is not easy for schools as well with such numbers but they should feel the anxiety of parents.

Hopefully it will all be fine and you will end up with more offers than you can handle. This is when the real agony starts And it is absolutely fine to shout how well your DC did IMO, but some take offence obviously, so you have to thread carefully. Good luck!

newtothislondonmum, read my post on 'In the Lap of the Gods/We will never know'!

It is a horrible time, as we all want the very best for our dc and the fact that this situation is out of our control makes it all the more difficult.

What I was trying to put over in my post is that whatever happens, we will never know if our dc would have 'done' equally as well elsewhere'. We cannot possibly know, so just keep your fingers crossed for the result you desire however... should this prove not to be the case, settle your dc into the very best school you can, be supportive and it will probably turn out really well.

In my view, we become too single-minded in our desire to gain a place at a top independent school. Although guilty as charged, I really wonder if a rejection would be so terrible in the long run. It would obviously initially hurt but with a supportive family, a child will probably do nearly as well elsewhere.

We, too are waiting for results for our dd but having 'been there and done that' three years ago for our ds, I know that we have prepared as best we can and just have to wait. It really is in the lap of the gods!

"...we become too single-minded in our desire to gain a place at a top independent school..."


Hmmm....a slight case of stealth boasting methinks! What is "top" is a massively subjctive opinion - what is good for one is not good for another and, for many, independent schools do not represent anywhere near the top of anything! Interesting that you feel the decsion is out of your control - surely that is what people pay vast sums of money to tutors for? To wrest some control to give your child a leg up? Where you are worrying about independent schools, and often a choice of these, spare a thought for those who have a choice of a terrible school or a truly awful one...that is far more a case of in the lap of the gods, which I don't really think the situation you describe is, to be honest.