11+ Results coming out soon - nervous like me?

[Surferfish]

One just hopes and prays that whoever these gods may be, they're giving the task of allocating places to top independent schools their full and undivided attention. One certainly wouldn't like to think that they might get distracted by less important matters such as third world poverty and hunger...

[G-Girl]

Kenyancowgirl: I am not stealth boasting (whatever that is) at least, I don't think I am!.

By 'top independent school', I mean one that is academically rigorous and on results alone, ranks in the top, say, 20 schools in the country. Obviously, only a few schools will be in physical reach, ruling out others with regard to travelling time.

I agree that one school may be right for one type of child but not another but surely that is why there are so many different schools and it is for the parent to choose the school best suited to their child's particular needs.

The decision is indeed out of our control! Our state-educated dd did have a tutor for some months but only to give her a more level playing field to those dc in prep schools - she did need a leg up. As above, I can't bribe an Admissions Tutor and don't have any personal contacts with Head Teachers (that was not to be taken literally...)! Our dd has worked hard, done her best and that's it - out of our control.

How do you know whether I worry about poor quality schools? Or not?

This is a thread on the Independent school pages and I think some comments have rather strayed.

Surferfish: The Gods are the Admissions Tutors! As above, I have not been able to bribe any, nor am I on friendly terms with any of the Head Teachers (this is meant to be mildly amusing... ) it is indeed the Admissions Tutors who are God - for the next few days at least.

Despite your wink, you are correct that in the great scheme of things, this whole business is but a trifle. However, it is our trifle and important to us at this moment.

Now we wait...............

[ToadMum]

How do you know whether I worry about poor quality schools? Or not?
https://www.elevenplusexams.co.uk/forum ... 42#p654342

I feel that our children would be better served by an academic secondary school which has similar children so they can spark off each other in a like-minded way. Unfortunately (in financial terms) this means paying for an independent school - the only way our wishes can be certain of being fulfilled.

I would have thought that that statement would show that you consider all state schools available to you to be 'poor'? Although to be fair, it doesn't indicate whether your concern extends as far as worrying about the schools per se, or just with regard to your own DC.

Presumably, in your area, a large number of DC in state primaries move to the independent sector at 11? (I am genuinely curious, since in our neck of the woods, almost none do). Otherwise, one might imagine that yours would have endured a rather friendless first seven years at school .

[Amber]

The thing about this thread, and to be honest about this forum in general sometimes, (and yes I have been guilty of it too) is that some of the posts sound as though a child perhaps has been diagnosed with a devastating terminal illness, is becoming progressively more disabled or mentally ill or is being bullied ruthlessly (check out the pastoral care forum for some genuine cases of distress). The degree to which parents are keeping themselves up all night, taking to the bottle, fretting that the world is about to end - it is sort of understandable to a point but really?

I have been through this (not private school) and now with kids age 21, 19 and 16 I can tell you it really is not a national level crisis if you don't get into your first choice school. And yes it did happen here. That child is about to head off to one of the universities which people send their children to the schools on this forum to access. In fact this board is full of stories of children who have been successful 'despite' (some might say because of ) not getting into a 'top' school.

Without defaulting to the hackneyed old state vs private debate (my stance on this is that you pay for a high level of confidence basically by going to a posh indie, and this leads to a leg-up in that many - and I include one or two of my friends in this - end up genuinely believing themselves to be better than the rest of us) - it really is not the end of the world or your child's place in it if they don't get into this or that 'top tier' independent school. And there really are parents fighting genuine battles for their children's health, for their place at any school at all which will cater for their disability, or, in some countries we could name, for basic safety. It might do to remember that on occasion.

[Choco]

Well said, Amber.
It's fine to feel nervous about school applications. Anyone who has invested time and energy into the application process feels a bit nervous and hopes for a good outcome....of course they do. But getting carried away and losing a sense of perspective about schools themselves (having a sense that only a very small number of schools can possibly deliver a good education for DC) or the issue overall in the wider scheme of things, is in my mind excessively self indulgent. I do think that some people love to wind themesleves into s frenzy about school places and perhaps even enjoy it. Is it about having too much time on your hands if this happens? Would it be good to find other outlets and interests other than just our DC and the next phase of education, to restore a bit of balance?

I hope everyone waiting for results today and in the next day's gets the places they hope for and also where they need financial assistance to go, that they get that too. I know that if it doesn't happen it will of course be disappointing. However, it's good to remember that all the children will have a school to go to in September and that the vast majority will do well and be happy wherever they go. They have interested parents and that's the biggest thing in all of this.

[newtothislondonmum]

Dear All,
Thank you, thank you and thank you for all the support. All your posts were really helpful, although we digressed a little from my original post but it did make me lose my nervousness.

I am delighted to tell you we got one of the results today and we got "in" .Super super delighted that he got his second choice now waiting to hear from his First choice. To be honest, I am very happy for DS I am sure he will be happy to hear about it too!

[svg123]

Well done newtothislondonmum and to your DC. Hope you get the good news from your first choice school as well very soon.

[beoptima]

Many congrats newtothislondonmum .. best wishes to your DC


DS was put on 'waiting list' in one of the schools although he has offer from couple of other indies.
Waiting for his 1st choice result before we can take a decision.

Out of interest, does being on waiting list mean there is a chance ? Do schools offer exact places and add some to the waiting list ?

thanks

[hermanmunster]

Out of interest, does being on waiting list mean there is a chance ? Do schools offer exact places and add some to the waiting list ?

thanks

It varies by school - some may offer only to the exact number and then make a lot of people on the WL very happy at a later date, however others tend to not like the idea of people turning them down and going to a WL so over offer ++ knowing that many will go elsewhere. occasionally they don't go elsewhere and the school has to take rather more in than they expected

[Middlesexmum]

The thing about this thread, and to be honest about this forum in general sometimes, (and yes I have been guilty of it too) is that some of the posts sound as though a child perhaps has been diagnosed with a devastating terminal illness, is becoming progressively more disabled or mentally ill or is being bullied ruthlessly (check out the pastoral care forum for some genuine cases of distress). The degree to which parents are keeping themselves up all night, taking to the bottle, fretting that the world is about to end - it is sort of understandable to a point but really?

I have been through this (not private school) and now with kids age 21, 19 and 16 I can tell you it really is not a national level crisis if you don't get into your first choice school. And yes it did happen here. That child is about to head off to one of the universities which people send their children to the schools on this forum to access. In fact this board is full of stories of children who have been successful 'despite' (some might say because of ) not getting into a 'top' school.

Without defaulting to the hackneyed old state vs private debate (my stance on this is that you pay for a high level of confidence basically by going to a posh indie, and this leads to a leg-up in that many - and I include one or two of my friends in this - end up genuinely believing themselves to be better than the rest of us) - it really is not the end of the world or your child's place in it if they don't get into this or that 'top tier' independent school. And there really are parents fighting genuine battles for their children's health, for their place at any school at all which will cater for their disability, or, in some countries we could name, for basic safety. It might do to remember that on occasion.

Excellent post Amber and I wholeheartedly agree. And what is 'success' anyway? When I see how much pressure my Year 10 dd is under, I would say success is being happy and healthy, so much more important than a string of A*s (or 9s!).

I always remind my dds of my own 11+ experience in 1983. I didn't gain a place in any of the selective schools I had applied for and yes it was very upsetting at the time. There followed repeated changes of secondary school including some quite rough schools in NW London. That toughened me up! But actually, one of the nicest friendships I made was with a girl from a council estate round the corner from school. Academically we were worlds apart but that lovely friendship and the warmth and kindness I was shown by her family will always stay with me. I never would have met her had I have gone to a selective school.