Top state grammar vs top independent offer

[ToadMum]

However, I’ve also read on this forum that schools sometimes contact parents to see if they would like a place even if the school was listed lower down.

This happened to us 8 years ago. We were surprised as it is a state school. When OH rang the school he was told that about 50 of the high scorers had not put that school as their first choice. It wasn't a guaranteed offer of a place, but a chance to go to the top of the waiting list - a bit risky in those days as I didn't know DS's score and there was the possibility of all 50 deciding they'd quite like the chance to queue-jump too. I won't lie. We did consider it for a split second. Then we remembered why it wasn't our first choice. Too much choice is definitely a chore. Reminds me of a KS3 English paper about choice (sorry, a bit random, I know).

The first time I read the advice on here on 'how to get your DC into pole position on an indie waiting list', that's exactly the thought that sprang to mind .

[Ecco]

Very passionate discussion indeed! But not sure who are we trying to prove. One needs to be convinced about their decision and this is all that matters.

My child cleared the grammar school exams that she took but we decided to opt for an independent school. Not because we had anything against grammar schools but simply because I felt my child to be a better fit in an independent school setting. For us pastoral care is important and we have experienced independent schools provide excellent pastoral care.

Moreover, we felt independent schools provide a multi cultural environment and more and more it has been proved that it is the environment and experiential learning that helps in the long run. It is amazing to see the ethnic diversity in independent schools. This is the call of the hour and important for my child to live in a diverse world rather than ghettos.

I am not even looking at what career she will take after 10 year. The world is fast moing and the professions which are relevant today may not even exit in 10 years of time. So our purpose is to make her resilient enough to cope with the changing world. There is more to life being an engineer or a doctor.

Also we don't want her to be a score card who is being compared to others.

Last but not the least, I respect the decision of parents who put their children in grammar schools but would also like people to respect the sensibility of people who decide for independent education. There is no right or wrong and no one should be judgemental towards others. My reasons for opting for independent school is personal and is based on how I have been brought up and I acknowledge the same for others.

[kenyancowgirl]

"....There is no right or wrong and no one should be judgemental towards others. My reasons for opting for independent school is personal and is based on how I have been brought up and I acknowledge the same for others...."

And, yet, you are quite happy to express judgemental opinions that independents are more ethnically diverse (?!), multi cultural, not ghetto-ised, with better pastoral care .....ergo ALL of which show very clearly that you believe those who have chosen grammars to opt for the opposite - and you are effectively judging them - especially with comments like "we don't want her to be a score card who is being comapred to others....There is more to life than being an engineer or doctor...."

You are tarring all grammar schools with the same brush (which, incidentally, I could give you several anecdotal evidences for where I have come across the complete opposite) - and quite a snobby brush at that, to "justify" your judgemental personal opinions for choosing independent but are also asking people to stop judging you....

One of the biggest reasons people choose independent could be argued to be that their children either didn't get into GS or the GS of their first choice, or parents are well able to afford the fees and choose not to go through the 11+ system. I am not saying this is what you did as you say your child passed a GS, btw, but there are many reasons people make school choices. By all means hold your opinions for why you have chosen one over the other, but please don't then belittle others who have made an alternate choice and then tell them not to belittle you!!

[RedPanda]

Moreover, we felt independent schools provide a multi cultural environment and more and more it has been proved that it is the environment and experiential learning that helps in the long run. It is amazing to see the ethnic diversity in independent schools. This is the call of the hour and important for my child to live in a diverse world rather than ghettos.

Admirable sentiments Ecco. Some put forward the same arguments for grammar schools where (compared to the population) their is a healthy proportion of ethnic-minority pupils. What those people fail to do is look closer at the headline numbers. Doing so, shows that some minorities are better represented than others. I'm not convinced that is the ethnic diversity you are looking for and wonder if independent schools would show the same issue.

Do you know? Genuine question, because I don't.

[Amber]

This diverse, multicultural, non-ghettoised, pressure-free utopia you have chosen to educate your daughter in Ecco, does it have any poor people in it? Or is that not the kind of diversity you mean?

[tiffinboys]

Ethnic diversity in independent school?
I would love to see the stats.

[kenyancowgirl]

Thanks for the pm Ecco....the fact you chose to respond this way suggests that you realise what you posted on thread doesn't come across terribly well...

[Daogroupie]

What are the chances that the 7% who can afford to go to private school would be more diverse than the 93% who cannot? DG

[mad?]

Last but not the least, I respect the decision of parents who put their children in grammar schools but would also like people to respect the sensibility of people who decide for independent education. There is no right or wrong and no one should be judgmental towards others. My reasons for opting for independent school is personal and is based on how I have been brought up and I acknowledge the same for others.

A good point Ecco but perhaps one that would be better made if you had afforded the same respect in return. Your comments about your choices between the sectors (or did you mean individual schools? I would hope so) cast blanket aspersions by implication and will inevitably be robustly challenged as none of us know what all schools in each sector are like because...guess what? They are all different.

As for ethnic diversity, I think this largely depends on where you live. Certainly a quick google image search of the grammars outside the M25 is pretty homogeneous I agree, but I imagine this is a reflection of local demography. I can't imagine the indie schools would much different (apart perhaps from the boarding schools). If on the other hand you meant social/economic diversity, I fear you may have wishful thinking. Even those indies which are needs blind and those grammars who push PP 'allocations' will at best be picking kids whose social capital is huge, despite their lower incomes.

[piggys]

It is amazing to see the ethnic diversity in independent schools. This is the call of the hour and important for my child to live in a diverse world rather than ghettos.

You think that independent schools are more representative of the 'real world' do you? really? I would ask you what planet you were living on, but the mods would tell me off.