Dear all, i have been scrawling through post after post trying to get some desperate guidance for my ds. He is in year 5 and is an anxious soul. He is sporty and plays tabla at grade 5 level is intelligent but really overwhelmed by change, wanting to wait and watch and simply follow. I dont think thats a negative, i just know senior school is going to ve a crucial decision. I live in harrow and so johns lyons and st albans have been suggested to me. I really would appreciate any hudden gems that would suit him. I think a smaller cohort more emphasis on pastoral and an academic environment would suit him. Please feel free to pm me. I know what concerns me is his anxiety is growing, and a 180 year group would overwhelm him. I have veen having sleepless nights with this conundrum. We have gone to see city of london, habs, st pauls, john lyons, and mts. I think that john lyons is a good option but want to gave another choice too. Thanking u all for yr help.....any help is appreciated

If you’re looking for a gentler pastoral environment, you might want to consider Aldenham or St Albans rather than Habs or central London schools - the commute into town could turn out to be an unnecessary challenge for your DS.

It’s good that you are thinking about this now. I know of a boy whose anxiety remained undiagnosed for a year while parents and GP tried to get to the bottom of the physical ailments that were the manifestation of it.

He may be an extreme case, but anxiety now keeps him out of school completely.

So when you say:


I urge you to consider whether your DS would benefit from counselling before he enters senior school, rather than wait for his anxiety to become more severe.

I think with my son im most concerned about the suze of the cohort. I think he wont fair well in a very large school. I wanted to share that i had looked at the main schools in my area but was hoping parents from city of london or aldenham or st albans or any other school might want to share. I understand that each child is unique and i as a parent will know my child best but its so overwhelming. His current school has announced its closing which has made a two form school into a one. The situation has brought his vunerability to the surface. You are right i dont want to unaccessibley stress him with a cimmute but the right school might not be local....i have heard of wetherby in central London has anyone have a son going there?

Have you ruled out things like dyslexia? It’s possible to be academically able which hides the dyslexia, but the difficulties result in anxiety.

I have a couple of friends with sons at St Albans, both of whom seem happy. I don't think either of them have anxiety issues so I can't comment on that but there don't seem to be any issues with pastoral care and they seem to have happy friendship groups.

St Albans sounds ideal for you.

It is a small nuturing school with excellent results. I know a lot of students there and they all love and are very proud of their school.

It is definitely a more personal gentle touch than Habs.

If you contact them they will offer you a personal tour and if you are interested in Music their concert is next Thursday 6th Dec.

Aldenham is also a much smaller school with a very friendly atmosphere. DG

A friend's ds goes to St Chris in Letchworth- it's quite a quirky, 'touchy-feely' school which they really like. Worth a look?

thank you all so much for your input. I am going to look into both St albans and St christophers.

Would you consider boarding school? There is a lovely one up in Oxfordshire that has the most amazing pastoral care, is small and is very nurturing and, incidentally, a fantastic reputation with dyslexic children.

No substantive advice but may I just say that it is really refreshing to have a parent seeking advice based on a child's pastoral care needs rather than looking to find a stratospherically high attaining school. I hope one of the suggestions works out for you.

And also to say it is perfectly possible to be anxious without being dyslexic.