How far does/will your child travel to their school?

[zorro]

I was worried about this too. My son will have to get on school coach at 07.30 the school is only about 20 mins by car but obviously they have a lot of pick ups en route. Lessons don't end until 5.30 but this includes time to do homework, so he probably won't get home till 6pm. I think they will be very tired at first but will eventually get used to th long day- and think of all those long school holidays!
I was very pleased to hear that schools put children who live in the same area in the same class - that will help a lot.
However I'm not too worried as DS goes to Scouts and all his primary school friends ( and their Mums) have said they are very keen to stay in touch so he will have mates to hang around with at weekens and school holidays.
This worryimg doesn't end even when they have their place!

[beenherebeforebutnoeasier]

I think it also depends how far most of the others travel and whether the independent is out in the sticks or in a hub. Our elder dd is at school in the heart of town -(about 3 m from us - done mostly by bus, sometimes tube, never us except when congestion charge not operating!) One of her best friend lives miles on the other side but they go for coffee after school and meet in town at weekends, sleepover - it really hasn't been a problem and there are enough girls close enough to meet up on bus etc so she has fun travelling. Plus she's really got to know the city. We swithered long and hard about giving up another independent that we really liked and what swayed us in part was that it was out on the edge of London and although the school bus was going to be easier on some levels there were various issues like a) if she missed it, how on earth did we get her to school and then get into town for work and sibling to school etc and b) it wasn't going to be a halfway point to meet friends at weekends - many would be out in Herts. So I'd think about whether you can cope with the stress of just not daring to miss the school coach! And if it is by school coach, the other thing I gleaned from friends who did it was that it was great for the first years and then you want to be independent but can't be. Not sure that is so great in the long run - we certainly like the way dd leaps on and off buses and gets herself all over the place without needing lifts. But we were comparing like with like in the end. Def a good idea to do the journeys etc again.

[beenherebeforebutnoeasier]

staying in touch with old primary friends - many of whom also travel a long way to other schools - has been great too. Very good to have the two groups going wherever you opt for. Travelling will be exhausting at first - as will new routine -but they do begin to take it in their stride we found, certainly by the first summer term. Those early starts the first winter were a bit of a killer all roung though!!

[solimum]

Just a plug for the local comp option .... All three of mine have attended ours 11-16, around two miles away which they usually walk, or perhaps in the past had a lift from the junior school half way from a kind parent. They have plenty of local friends, and I've had easy round trips for parents evenings, concerts, sports events, early/ late starts, music lessons, forgotten cookery ingredients, vital cheques etc. DD is currently in the school show and has to be at school every evening this week - that would be impossible 20 miles away without boarding.. I remember a contemporary of my second DS who went elsewhere at 11 with a long coach ride - before long he'd had to give up the music service wind band because his journey home and the early start left him too tired for other eveing activities.

It can also prove more difficult than you think to keep up friendships with those who've gone elsewhere - lives drift apart, they need to have other things in common, and time to spare, to sustain friendships without the day-to-day shared experiences. Of course children will make the best of the situation, and I'm sure they enjoy the coach rides (though my OH hated his hour-long journey back in the dark ages) and they won't miss what they haven't had, but the massed stroll home on a summer's afternoon is also a great social occasion...

The point about alternative methods to a dedicated coach service is important too - DS2 is now at a more distant grammar for 6th form, but can get there independently by regular bus/ train (so can leave early if free periods permit) as well as borrowing my car.... Incidentally he did at least as well, if not better at GCSE than the above-mentioned junior school contemporary

[chomps]

Many thanks for all the responses. I have just arranged to visit the school again with my son on a 'working day' as opposed to the Open Day we originally visited on.

There is certainly a lot to think about. My son also attends a football academy several times a week so does a lot of travelling already; hence my increased worry about the journey times.

The biggest concern though is definitely the worry that he will lose his primary school friends who will move on to new friendships at their local school (understandably). I discussed the worry about not living close to school friends with a few parents whilst we sat waiting for our children to do the entrance exam. They all described their children as 'not really into playing out much anyway' so they didn't think it would affect them, which is the complete opposite of my son who would be out playing football or on his bike 24 hours a day if he could!

I hope to get a better idea after my visit on Monday. I'm sure that I am worrying about it a thousand times more than my son is. That's being a parent for you!

[solimum]

The thing with new long-distance friends is they will require parental involvement to maintain (plus msn of course ) and can perhpas be "controlled" ("no, I'm not driving you over to Titania's house 2 counties away just for a sleepover"), whereas local friendships will be more spontaneous and child-driven ("can I go back to Harry's and plan our geography project tonight? ") - and possibly more scary? DS2 has now since moving for 6ht form made friends from all round the W Mids - but at least he's got the bus and rail pass, and now the driving licence, to get around!

[beenherebeforebutnoeasier]

Not trying to be contrary but we're really delighted at how our dd, now in year 9, has kept up the close group of primary school friends (all of whom we've known since they were tiny and are very fond of) and got her senior school friends too. The friendships are so firm that even though they may not see each other for several weeks at a time when life if really busy, I'm quite confident they'll last throughout schooldays and beyond, and there is quite a good chance some of them will end up back together again for sixth form. It's a good antidote to the intensity of teenage relationships at school - and they've known each other so long that they can be very honest and relaxed with each other in a different way. There's great value in both.

[happymum]

My son has been offered a place at an independent school (approx 20 miles away - 40 min coach drive in rush hour). His other option is our local comprehensive which is not at all bad.

My concern about the independent school is that whilst he will make friends in school, their home locations may be widespread.

What are your experiences of having a child travel for education but being away from school friends at weekends/in the evening? How far do you travel?

Thanks

My daughter went to a school which involved a 50 minute bus journey and yes most of her friends lived in different towns from us and yes we were constantly a taxi service - but I wouldn't of had it any other way. Our son has just gained a place at Colyton Grammar and he will also have a 50 minute bus journey every day.

[chomps]

Once again - thanks for all your thoughts. I suppose even when you weigh up the pros and cons, you just never know if you have made the right decision until the school term starts. I hope the visits on Monday will allay a few fears and then the final decision comes down to money!

[Kim123]

My son has been offered a place at an independent school (approx 20 miles away - 40 min coach drive in rush hour). His other option is our local comprehensive which is not at all bad.

My concern about the independent school is that whilst he will make friends in school, their home locations may be widespread.

What are your experiences of having a child travel for education but being away from school friends at weekends/in the evening? How far do you travel?

Thanks

My daughter travels 30 mile to her school and it takes us an hour each way. All her friends at the school are quite widespread so it just takes a little extra effort to arrange meet ups. I have no regrets and have been doing the 60 mile round trip for 2 years.