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This is becoming uncomfortable.

Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 12:11 pm
by Ed's mum
Guys, I have been a forum member since August 2007 but I lingered here anonymously for far longer before that.
I came to this forum for information, support and a sense of 'all in it together', which I found! Primarily, I was interested in grammar school 11+ selection and only much later did I think about reading and paticipating on the Independent Schools section as my family began to explore other options as a back-up plan.
I have no idea what is going on now on this Independent Schools part of the forum. It is an uncomfortable, unfriendly and argumentative area to visit. It is difficult to know whether there is genuine friction between personalities or whether certain members are attempting to 'stir' up debates intentionally.
I tend to visit most areas of the forum and read lots of posts which have no relevance to my situation. If I can help or advise then I do, but I wouldn't post just to be difficult or contentious, but I am beginning to feel that some people must be doing this.
We don't meet each other usually and have to believe what other people tell us about themselves and their situations. We should be able to trust what we read.
I am not addressing this post to anyone in particular. This is just a general appeal to people to calm things down. Could I remind people that we have guidelines on this forum about behaviour and how we respond.

Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 12:27 pm
by tipsy
Good post :)

Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 12:29 pm
by Rosey
Thank you Ed's Mum

I agree, the forum normally has a community feel about it, and I like to believe that we are supportive of each other whatever our situation.

At the end of the day, we are all trying to do the best for our children, and we should respect that and each other.

Again, like Ed's Mum's post, this is not addressed to anyone, it's just a general appeal; no offence is intended.

Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 12:29 pm
by laid back son worried mum
Exce11ent Sermon. :D

(thanks, Father Corv)

Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 1:23 pm
by 2nd time arround
Ed's mum - well done on your post, I feel the same, something is not right here and it makes for difficult reading.

Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 2:44 pm
by KES Parent
I agree with Ed's Mum, I think things have become a bit surreal but I'm not sure how that benefits anyone.

I also agree

Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 3:37 pm
by redapple
Well said. I have sitting on the side reading all the post in horror. lets out a stop to it all now.

Re: I also agree

Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 3:44 pm
by Burneth
redapple wrote:Well said. I have sitting on the side reading all the post in horror. lets out a stop to it all now.
I have been guilty of this as well...the 11+ forum was my little bit of R&R - please can we resume the state of calm :cry: :cry:

Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 3:52 pm
by Sally-Anne
Hi All

I can't recall ever seeing such strength of feeling on the Forum as there has been about the tone of some of the recent debates. As you can imagine, the Mods have been equally concerned, and we have received a number of PMs about it from Forum Members who feel the same way as Ed's mum.

I discussed the matter with Forum Admin this morning and I am hopeful that we will see a return to community spirit as a result. :D

Sally-Anne

Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 10:02 pm
by perplexed
Apart from some unfounded comments from ZZZ about Ed's Mum and Tipsy on the Eton versus Winchester thread, and a few other jealous sounding comments from others, I am not exactly sure what you are all talking about.

I found the Eton versus Winchester thread interesting and I could see why someone would come to the Independent Schools forum on this website to ask this question. It was just a shame that there were only a couple of people who had any up to date or relevant information about the two schools.

Unless there have been some strange things going on behind the scenes in PMs, I think perhaps you are being a little oversensitive on this forum. There is an advantage to people replying even if it is irrelevant or slightly "off". It keeps your thread at the top of the list and makes it more likely that someone who does have a helpful answer may see it and respond.

I had a bad reception on the Kent forum last year (not under the name Perplexed at the time) when I was trying to establish whether there would be a disadvantage for the Kent 11+ in choosing a primary school outside Kent for my daughters as we live close to several county boundaries.

The threads were not locked or edited although they were mostly distinctly unhelpful, and ill-informed. Some of them I found it hard to believe could be from parents who would presumably hope that they were setting an example of fair-mindedness and curiosity to their children.

Neither would it have helped if the threads had been locked or edited as it was interesting to see people's veiws