Private primary v Private secondary

Independent Schools as an alternative to Grammar

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SGadd
Posts: 24
Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2021 12:11 pm

Private primary v Private secondary

Post by SGadd »

Good morning

We cannot afford to send both our sons to private primary schools and then to private secondary schools. It is one or the other.

So what is better:

1. Private primary school and then hope they get into a grammar school - we live about a mile from a good GS. So as long as they pass, they should get into DCGS in Amersham.

2. Send the boys to state primary schools and then into private secondary schools, instead of trying to get into grammar schools.

What are the pros and cons of both grammar schools and secondary private schools?

Thank you in advance.
2childmum
Posts: 523
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2008 4:02 pm
Location: S E London

Re: Private primary v Private secondary

Post by 2childmum »

I think it is better to look at the schools in questions and pick the best pick for your children.

My son started at a state primary, where he was very unhappy, so we moved him to a private primary (but not a pushy one - it was far more creative than the state schools around which suited him) He then went to a grammar school, but we had to do some 11+ prep with him - the school did do some but they were prepping for 4 different grammar school exams and quite a number of private school too, so we found we had to do some focussed prep. He then went to a fairly high flying private sixth form, mainly because he wasn't very impressed with the teaching of one of the subjects he wanted to study at A level at the grammar. He loved it there, but when I asked if he wished he had gone there at 11 he said no - he felt the grammar was better for him as he mixed with a much wider range of students.

DD started at the same private primary as her brother, but where he had thrived there it wasn't right for her at all - so she moved to a state primary (different one to my son) at year 2 and thrived there. However, she is very dyslexic with a very slow processing speed so we didn't attempt the 11+ and she went to a state secondary with a broad intake (we are on the borders of a grammar area and this school was in the non-grammar area). However, she didn't settle at all (lots of different issues at the school which all impacted her dyslexia), and was home educated from half way through year 7 until October year 10 when she moved onto a state school almost next door to a grammar, where she did very well (all top GCSE grades, mainly because the school set very little homework so she was able to study what she felt she needed to instead of doing the homework!) She then went to a more low key private sixth form as the smaller size suited her much better.

So what I am trying to say after all this is that it's not about private v state, but about finding the best school to suit your children - and that might not be the same for both of them!
Octsmum
Posts: 345
Joined: Wed Mar 08, 2017 11:21 pm

Re: Private primary v Private secondary

Post by Octsmum »

Hi

We are very lucky in that we could have done both - but going through private secondary would have meant we'd have had to reduce our holidays / done less house improvements etc.

We chose a state primary - because we didn't feel there was a lot in it locally. We are lucky to be in catchment for an small outstanding village school. We paid for 11+ tuition (as did many other parents) and she has got into a local grammar school where she is very happy. We're able to do extra curricular activities & trips & music.

We looked at private secondary too - but in our daughters words 'the facilities were great - but I'm not that sporty to be worth it'. Academically the private school and grammar school are pretty even results wise. My DD is quite self motivated and I keep on top of what's happening - so I don't need school to support in this regard. The jury is out between my DH & myself with regards to the 'network' of a private school....

We're heading into GCSEs. I think we will look at options including private for sixth form. I think your choices depend on your child, their interests & the differences in the schools and you as a family. Hope that helps.
hermanmunster
Posts: 12821
Joined: Fri Sep 15, 2006 9:51 am
Location: The Seaside

Re: Private primary v Private secondary

Post by hermanmunster »

2childmum wrote:
So what I am trying to say after all this is that it's not about private v state, but about finding the best school to suit your children - and that might not be the same for both of them!
I think your post demonstrates this so well, including just about every combination including some home schooling - getting the right place for each child is crucial

I suspect it happens less than it used to but families used to occasionally favour one child over another when it came to spending on education whether it was "the boy", "the older one" or "the brightest one" etc etc
SGadd
Posts: 24
Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2021 12:11 pm

Re: Private primary v Private secondary

Post by SGadd »

2childmum wrote:I think it is better to look at the schools in questions and pick the best pick for your children.

My son started at a state primary, where he was very unhappy, so we moved him to a private primary (but not a pushy one - it was far more creative than the state schools around which suited him) He then went to a grammar school, but we had to do some 11+ prep with him - the school did do some but they were prepping for 4 different grammar school exams and quite a number of private school too, so we found we had to do some focussed prep. He then went to a fairly high flying private sixth form, mainly because he wasn't very impressed with the teaching of one of the subjects he wanted to study at A level at the grammar. He loved it there, but when I asked if he wished he had gone there at 11 he said no - he felt the grammar was better for him as he mixed with a much wider range of students.

DD started at the same private primary as her brother, but where he had thrived there it wasn't right for her at all - so she moved to a state primary (different one to my son) at year 2 and thrived there. However, she is very dyslexic with a very slow processing speed so we didn't attempt the 11+ and she went to a state secondary with a broad intake (we are on the borders of a grammar area and this school was in the non-grammar area). However, she didn't settle at all (lots of different issues at the school which all impacted her dyslexia), and was home educated from half way through year 7 until October year 10 when she moved onto a state school almost next door to a grammar, where she did very well (all top GCSE grades, mainly because the school set very little homework so she was able to study what she felt she needed to instead of doing the homework!) She then went to a more low key private sixth form as the smaller size suited her much better.

So what I am trying to say after all this is that it's not about private v state, but about finding the best school to suit your children - and that might not be the same for both of them!
I absolutely agree with this. Every child is different and every school is different. I was looking more along the lines - if you are sending your child to a private school, is it better to send them for primary or secondary? Which one will provide greater opportunities. But I accept that it is best to look at school and judge the best one for my child, whether it is state or private. Thank you.
SGadd
Posts: 24
Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2021 12:11 pm

Re: Private primary v Private secondary

Post by SGadd »

Octsmum wrote:Hi

We are very lucky in that we could have done both - but going through private secondary would have meant we'd have had to reduce our holidays / done less house improvements etc.

We chose a state primary - because we didn't feel there was a lot in it locally. We are lucky to be in catchment for an small outstanding village school. We paid for 11+ tuition (as did many other parents) and she has got into a local grammar school where she is very happy. We're able to do extra curricular activities & trips & music.

We looked at private secondary too - but in our daughters words 'the facilities were great - but I'm not that sporty to be worth it'. Academically the private school and grammar school are pretty even results wise. My DD is quite self motivated and I keep on top of what's happening - so I don't need school to support in this regard. The jury is out between my DH & myself with regards to the 'network' of a private school....

We're heading into GCSEs. I think we will look at options including private for sixth form. I think your choices depend on your child, their interests & the differences in the schools and you as a family. Hope that helps.
I didn't consider private sixth form, but this is a great idea. I do think networking is half as important as academic grades and private schools do enable this, but probably more relevant in private secondary. Thank you - I am leaning towards private primary for our sons.
scary mum
Posts: 8842
Joined: Mon Mar 15, 2010 3:45 pm

Re: Private primary v Private secondary

Post by scary mum »

I think networking is over estimated really, unless perhaps you are at one of the top public schools.
scary mum
Daogroupie
Posts: 11101
Joined: Wed Mar 04, 2009 3:01 pm
Location: Herts

Re: Private primary v Private secondary

Post by Daogroupie »

Networking will not overcome poor results. DG
SGadd
Posts: 24
Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2021 12:11 pm

Re: Private primary v Private secondary

Post by SGadd »

I didn't say networking over comes poor results. Combination of good results and networking helps. I used to be in law and that certainly helped with networking.

But I agree the most important thing is your result.
Moon unit
Posts: 654
Joined: Fri Mar 07, 2014 9:14 am

Re: Private primary v Private secondary

Post by Moon unit »

Let’s all hope for a time when networking is a thing of the past.
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