People's Reactions When You Tell Them

Independent Schools as an alternative to Grammar

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Snowdrops
Posts: 4667
Joined: Wed Nov 21, 2007 5:20 pm

Post by Snowdrops »

Good post Solimum - let's us know we're not the only ones and that others feel things too.

Your post reminds me of an occasion a year or so ago when a friend of mine was moving home.

Since being two years old our dd's have been through nursery and school together, they've gone away on Brownie weekends, school trips and even annual holidays together, growing up together almost like sisters. I have taken friend's dd to and from school every day (without payment, not that I'd ask for it, she's my friend and I know from working previously myself how difficult it is, so I do/did it out of choice) and then looked after dd's daughter for 3 hours everyday after school.

When the announcement was made last year that they were moving house I was deeply unhappy that I has done all this free running round and childminding for the past 6 years whilst they stashed the cash away to enable them to move to a better area and thus their dd would then get into a much better school than mine (we live in an area with a school in special measures as our catchment school).

I said nothing, but remained hurt and apprehensive about it all, so imagine my surprise when they didn't choose a better area but remained within catchment, but again said nothing about it.

It wasn't until we were filling in our CAFs earlier this year that I mentioned my surprise at their choice of location that she said it had honestly never crossed their minds - which just goes to show we shouldn't immediately jump to conclusions and/or feel hurt by others' actions, because until we speak about it rationally we really don't know what goes on in others' minds.
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fm

Post by fm »

There is nothing so paranoid as parents when it comes to grammar school, independent etc.. I know because I deal with this every year. Everyone imagines everyone is thinking/doing/plotting things that probably bear no relationship to reality.

On a personal level, I have never had any comment about my children attaining/going to grammar school. I don't expect praise for the fact (why should my child be praised for being lucky enough to have the brains to attain a selective school) and I have never invited or received condemnation.

I think mothers are particularly prone to misreading other people's intentions.
T.i.p.s.y

Post by T.i.p.s.y »

I certainly don't want praise when I mention it, otherwise I wouldn't try and hide the fact unless probed! :lol:

Solimum, I think you were brave to be open about your feelings and your situation. :) This is what I said earlier however - choosing a different option does not mean we are criticising others decisions. I am one of the most uncompetitive people I know, especially when it comes to my kids. I have even had private school mums fall out with me when I've moved to another independent school, because they thought the school was perfect! :roll: Everyone is different so we can't really expect to like the same things and that includes schools.
traceywhyte17
Posts: 48
Joined: Thu Jan 22, 2009 12:19 am
Location: Sunny by the sea

Post by traceywhyte17 »

I have started evading the question when asked because when we started the great senior school hunt 5 months ago I was given some hostile stares and agresive comments when I dared to reply to the question of where my son was going with the answer that we were looking at independant schools as there are no grammar schools in this area. I started to feel almost embarrassed at the choices I was making so I just say now that we are keeping our options open.
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