downside of pre-testing
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T.i.p.s.y
I do worry about him not coping socially in the real world if he's been allowed to do exactly what he wants - which means a head in a chemistry book or hacking into computer systems - especially as one of the schools is quite liberal in that sense! 
I know some very bright people who have no social skills and that is not what I want for DS.
I know some very bright people who have no social skills and that is not what I want for DS.That's very similar to what I was going to say (having been out for a lovely walk in the snow with your dilemma in my mind Tipsy). My only recent experience is in choosing a sixth form place for DS2, where we had the choice of staying at his local comp for a brand new small sixth form unit, a generous scholarship to a local independent or a more distant Birmingham grammar.
In the end the atmosphere in the grammar school seemed most down to earth and relaxed, with several experienced teachers who seemed to know what they were talking about and communicate enthusiasm for their subject rather than spouting KS levels, league tables and educational jargon, who had time to chat to us and our son as individuals. The brochure was photocopied A4 sheets...
The private school seemed keener to show off their wonderful facilities and exciting rugby trips, and we couldn't see ourselves or our son fitting in there somehow...(although I have several friends with children there who are successful and happy). The brochure was extremely glossy with full colour photos of elegant young women...
The "stay local" option also had glossy brochures and some new facilities, but DS was persuaded that his academic horizons needed broadening rather than staying in a small subset of his existing year group, albeit with potentially very small class sizes
But then we were only choosing for two years, in conjunction with a son who had his own opinions, often strongly expressed! In the end it proved a very successful decision, and all too quickly we were doing the rounds looking at universities... One added bonus which we hadn't anticipated was the involvement in Birmingham Music service ensembles, which expanded DS's musical horizons hugely - and which he would probably put down as the best part of his time at the school!
In the end it has to be a gut feeling if there are no other decisive factors. Try this - if someone said to your son "no, you can't go to school A after all", would you/ he shrug, or be upset? And if you want a school that doesn't only suit one type of child, could your boys both go to the same place and make life a whole lot easier for several years???
In the end the atmosphere in the grammar school seemed most down to earth and relaxed, with several experienced teachers who seemed to know what they were talking about and communicate enthusiasm for their subject rather than spouting KS levels, league tables and educational jargon, who had time to chat to us and our son as individuals. The brochure was photocopied A4 sheets...
The private school seemed keener to show off their wonderful facilities and exciting rugby trips, and we couldn't see ourselves or our son fitting in there somehow...(although I have several friends with children there who are successful and happy). The brochure was extremely glossy with full colour photos of elegant young women...
The "stay local" option also had glossy brochures and some new facilities, but DS was persuaded that his academic horizons needed broadening rather than staying in a small subset of his existing year group, albeit with potentially very small class sizes
But then we were only choosing for two years, in conjunction with a son who had his own opinions, often strongly expressed! In the end it proved a very successful decision, and all too quickly we were doing the rounds looking at universities... One added bonus which we hadn't anticipated was the involvement in Birmingham Music service ensembles, which expanded DS's musical horizons hugely - and which he would probably put down as the best part of his time at the school!
In the end it has to be a gut feeling if there are no other decisive factors. Try this - if someone said to your son "no, you can't go to school A after all", would you/ he shrug, or be upset? And if you want a school that doesn't only suit one type of child, could your boys both go to the same place and make life a whole lot easier for several years???
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T.i.p.s.y
I hope I didn't ruin your walk solimum! 
I'm glad everything worked out for your son and the right decision was made. I don't even want to think what I'll be like come university time!
Your last question has helped me to rule out one of the 3 so thank you for that.
I am now at the stage where I want a rejection from one of the other two to help me with this decision, although I'll be in such a panic if the rejection comes from the first school he sits as I'll be praying he won't get rejected for the second school! 
I'm glad everything worked out for your son and the right decision was made. I don't even want to think what I'll be like come university time!
Your last question has helped me to rule out one of the 3 so thank you for that.
I am now at the stage where I want a rejection from one of the other two to help me with this decision, although I'll be in such a panic if the rejection comes from the first school he sits as I'll be praying he won't get rejected for the second school! 
You clearly have a difficult decision to make and I have no experience of independent schools but just to add a couple of comments….
I have watched my eldest son go from a socially inept / geeky child aged 10 to a sociable, confident 13 year old who is great company (most of the time) and who has a lovely group of friends. I always felt he had the potential to mix with the world but he never seemed to want to. Looking back I don’t think it was that he didn’t want to mix but rather that for too long he was in the wrong environment to allow him to. Now the environment is a good fit for him we have seen him flourish.
There has been increasing research about the development of boys showing that the pre frontal lobes, responsible for higher thinking and social awareness, continue to develop up until aged 22 and beyond (for some up to aged 30). In other words boys remain highly malleable throughout their teenage years and into early adulthood – as such the environment around them is critical.
For us the decision of schools had one over riding factor – the ethos and feel of the school – anything else we could add to / address as we needed to but you can’t change the ethos of the environment and this will have the longest lasting effect.
I have watched my eldest son go from a socially inept / geeky child aged 10 to a sociable, confident 13 year old who is great company (most of the time) and who has a lovely group of friends. I always felt he had the potential to mix with the world but he never seemed to want to. Looking back I don’t think it was that he didn’t want to mix but rather that for too long he was in the wrong environment to allow him to. Now the environment is a good fit for him we have seen him flourish.
There has been increasing research about the development of boys showing that the pre frontal lobes, responsible for higher thinking and social awareness, continue to develop up until aged 22 and beyond (for some up to aged 30). In other words boys remain highly malleable throughout their teenage years and into early adulthood – as such the environment around them is critical.
For us the decision of schools had one over riding factor – the ethos and feel of the school – anything else we could add to / address as we needed to but you can’t change the ethos of the environment and this will have the longest lasting effect.
