Tips wanted on how to make it stress free and enjoyable

[Giselle]

Vasu that sounds like a good plan and one which I might try and agree/follow with my dd. Which interactive mini tests are you using for your evening session? The use of different formats - hard copy and pc will definitely increase her interest. Thanks.

[menagerie]

You are all making me laugh! I was thinking of how to make it stress free for them not me! (Unless you are recommending I ply DC with red wine and raw coffee beans? I think not.)

[Jules7]

Try not to shout Dim Boy at him

Ha ha-that really made me laugh! Too true, though it's very difficult to cheerfully ask 'darling, are you sure that's the answer you mean?' when you want to shout 'HOW many times have we been through this; have I been talking to myself!'

Oh so so funny and true. I do not have much patience when it comes to explaining maths for what seems to be the nth time so to prevent me from becoming eggy we have instigated a red and yellow card "send off" system which DD used to place on the table in front of me with a steely look in her eye. Just the sight of them made me behave!!

[menagerie]

Love it Jules. My DS would so enjoy using that system. Might use it for piano practise too.

[Fran17]

I love the red and yellow card system Jules. So funny. I might introduce that for me to use on my two teenage sons. Having said that I feel sure they will join forces and use them on me.

As for keeping the whole thing stress free, I guess it just depends upon the DSs characters. My youngest two are very laid back (in need of a swift kick up the pants sometimes) whereas I am the stress head (hence the red wine). However, a friend of mine took a very laid back approach and yet her DD was quite stressed out about the whole thing. I am sure you will offer lots of encouragement, praise and understanding (remember not to shout dim child - that really made me laugh). They all seem to come through it ok.

[scarlett]

Luckily we all have a good sense of humour in our family so DS would probably laugh his head off if I were to shout dim boy at him. It's just my mother- in - law who would book him in for counselling.

I found during 11 plus prep I developed an obsessive need to go over and over practice papers..oh you got 2 wrong...lets just do another one..why was that ?!!! I'm much more chilled with DS2 now and even set up some work for him yest, and then said Oh don't worry just play instead ! Must be all your good advice.

[fatbananas]

Perhaps if he got 2 wrong, then that "2" margin means there means there's an element of doubt about whether it will overall mean success or failure. Getting 100% is more certain success. Perhaps with the second DC, you now know that you can allow for a bigger margin of error and you have more confidence in yourself and him that it will be fine?

This parenting business is often a tightrope. My dog-obssessed DS2, mentioned elsewhere , is still finding it hard to settle in at nursery, even after 6 months (this morning was a nightmare ). A normally happy, very funny, engaged boy, still clings to his mummy and it makes me feel terrible that I'm doing/ have done something wrong and this will affect his future life chances and yet, when writing that I want to put in When you're in the thick of something, it's harder to keep perspective about (pseudo-psychology/philosophy alert ) life being a whole journey and not getting bogged down in one tricky stage of it.

Errr .... will shut up now. This thread is about being stress free and enjoyable

[vasu]

Perhaps if he got 2 wrong, then that "2" margin means there means there's an element of doubt about whether it will overall mean success or failure. Getting 100% is more certain success. Perhaps with the second DC, you now know that you can allow for a bigger margin of error and you have more confidence in yourself and him that it will be fine?

This parenting business is often a tightrope. My dog-obssessed DS2, mentioned elsewhere , is still finding it hard to settle in at nursery, even after 6 months (this morning was a nightmare ). A normally happy, very funny, engaged boy, still clings to his mummy and it makes me feel terrible that I'm doing/ have done something wrong and this will affect his future life chances and yet, when writing that I want to put in When you're in the thick of something, it's harder to keep perspective about (pseudo-psychology/philosophy alert ) life being a whole journey and not getting bogged down in one tricky stage of it.

Errr .... will shut up now. This thread is about being stress free and enjoyable

I was in the same boat a few years ago with ds2. That too shall pass. I would give give anything to have that little boy clinging to me, wanting his mum than the one,, now, who completely blocks me out. Hmmmm once a mother always a mother. It never gets easier.

[Snowdrops]

Oh my son did this too!!

For a little over 6 months I had to plan my escape each day from nursery, leaving him howling the whole time when I wasn't there. I started off leaving him five minutes before the end of the session, then ten minutes, then fifteen (you get the picture) and all the while he just cried and cried when I wasn't there. One day I said goodbye to him and he just looked at me and then carried on playing at whatever he was doing at the time. Must be just boys!! (he's 32 now and can be on his own ).

Our tutoring was stressful in places but I enjoyed it sooooo much, I actually missed it when it all came to an end. No tips for it though, I think it's something which is individual to each family and you deal with it the best you can, according to the child.

Good luck with it, and be prepared to feel the void when it's all over

[Fran17]

Oh, none of mine did that, they all ran off into playgroup without even a backward glance, I wish they had been a bit more reluctant. We're never satisfied.