I think I would focus on the area where the 11+ result was a problem.
If there's lots of evidence of very high overall ability, I would usually suggest including that too.
However, the results achieved by your DC in the other papers were outstanding, so in your particular case I think I would concentrate on:
• the area that the panel will be concerned about
• reasons for wanting a place at this particular school
You could try explaining to the head what your strategy is going to be, and suggest it would be helpful if she is willing to tailor her support accordingly!
What you've written looks fine.
As a precaution I would take to the hearing any suitable evidence of high overall ability, e.g. year 5 report (if it's good), KS2 predictions - but I wouldn't present any of it unless the panel start asking questions that lead you to think they want something 'more'!