I'm inclined to agree with you.
We kept the whole process as low profile as possible, from the open evenings (we tried to be as positive about our local comp as we were about the grammars), the exam and then the subsequent appeal (which luckily we didn't have to do, as we were offered a place from the waiting list).
We did not talk about much of it in front of her and tried our best to keep any appeal issues from her. She didn't ask us at any stage if we were going to appeal, as there was no reason why she should even know what an appeal was!
I simply said to her not to worry too much about secondary school, because I would make sure that she was happy where ever she went, and to let me sort it out. She happily accepted this - and the whole process has been almost stress free for her - except on two days: Exam day and result day.
Obviously, as parents we assess our childrens personalities and treat them accordingly - but Oblivion is Bliss!