is KES right for DS?

[kesok]

Hallo everyone! I'm a lurker, and have appreciated general advice about 11+ for the last couple of years. Really appreciate the wealth of info available here. DS loved AGS and was aiming for that but wouldn't've been disappointed to go to local comp with his friends.
DS achieved 248 in his 11+ - 23rd in the southern circle. Obviously (!) I'm not surprised because he is brilliant, but we hadn't really considered KES for a number of reasons. He loved AGS, but I'd love to know what experienced parents think of ds's characteristics and whether he would fit in. I'm worried we are doing him a disservice if we don't give him this opportunity. We'll take him to see KES this week, but I'd love to know what you think.
We like to think of ourselves as left wing and are bothered by the hypocrisy of sending him to a grammar school at all.
He has a younger sister (y3) who is currently adamant that she won't do 11+, but it would be good to have them at the same school
He's academic and loves teaching people things. He wants to be a scientist and study chemistry currently.
He loves the idea of learning Latin because it fits with his interests in literature and history
He's done rugby with a club before but is totally ignorant about football. Not really sporty.
Good at being dramatic ( was Oberon in MND y5 production) but scared to commit to drama group.
Best friends are girls but he does have some boy friends.
He is scruffy and has long hair that he hates having cut. He is always in trouble for not having his spelling book or not having prepared in the right way.
Often in trouble because he struggles with social rules - he joins in games but takes them too far so ends up being told off for hurting people - then aggrieved because he never meant to hurt anyone.
We still struggle to get him to commit to weekly homework; there are always tears and self-hatred. He says this will be better when it is every night. :/.
He's constantly tilting on his chair and humming annoyingly.
He's geeky, and currently interested in pokemon go and ingress and minecraft to the point of obsession.
Is KES any good for undiagnosed SEN like ADHD or ASD - not saying this is the case for him but I am always questioning it and I wonder if there are others who are a bit spectrum that go there, or if his inability to understand rules will stick out and disadvantage him?
thank you so much - it feels now that this choice matters a lot. ***

[kesok]

Oh, is it half term for two weeks?!!
Guess we won't be looking round before the application has to be in then...

[Wonky]

Hi - we're also in a similar dilemma. Have you arranged a visit this week.. The other half checked and told me KES are on half term for the next two weeks??

[kesok]

I've just emailed to ask but I don't know what the chances are.

[Manon]

Kesok, have a look at the 2016 results/2017 entry thread, start about half way down page 13. Several people have posted lots of helpful information about KES which might assist you, in response to a question I put.

I believe they are on half term now until after the CAF has to be submitted.

[aslongastheirhappy]

We are in the same position with our DS. No chance of going back to KES to make sure 100 percent that we want our DS to go to AGS. People keep telling us we'd be wasting an opportunity, but AGS is a brilliant school and we think this school would be better socially for him. It's a dilemma because there is an expectation amongst peers. However,for us, the school seemed quite antiquated. Whole different feel to it. For some that's a positive thing. So we are in the KES dilemmma. Exclusive elite vs integral progressive modern. Thanks for your post. Made me feel less alone in my angst.

[aslongastheirhappy]

I've heard tat KES are absolutely brilliant with SEN. We know someone who has similar issues with a boy at KES and he's been amazingly supported. Also, smaller, more intimate environment was a big plus for him.

[kenyancowgirl]

Just to be clear, regardless of whether he has SEN or not, KES take a dim view of any physical violence - they have to - problems in all boys schools could get out of hand. If there is any pushing or shoving he will end up with an internal exclusion or worse. They treat that kind of thing very seriously - any y7 parent who went to the recent standards evening will confirm this. He will also be expected to have his haircut - JD will confirm this! As uniform and smartness are expected and adhered to. He won't be allowed to tilt his chair (health and safety) and would have to be prepared that if he hums etc the boys will tell him to stop - maybe he relates better to girls because they are a bit more forgiving? Homework, he will have to get used to doing it - doing it well - and to deadlines - sometimes overnight - sometimes a bit longer. They are very strict on this and it is the number 1 reason for detentions (alongside bad behaviour of any sort). He ticks boxes for drama and it definitely isn't a football school - Latin is compulsory as is Mandarin, for at least 2 years. Which school is logistically easier?

[Manon]

aslongastheirhappy, at the risk of repeating what kenyancowgirl said to me on another thread - if, prior to results, you had come to the conclusion that AGS would suit your ds and KES wouldn't - I wouldn't be inclined to change just because the results mean you can. We're angsty too but a different problem in that we think both CHB and KES would equally suit our ds. Life would be much easier if we could find reason to say one of them wouldn't, or if logistics made one not viable - although we appreciate we're fortunate to have the problem.

I know several people whose dc are at AGS and they are all very happy there. I think if you put your ds into KES when you are obviously uncertain that it will be a suitable environment for him, rather than AGS which you are happy will be - well that would be the wasted opportunity. Who cares what everyone/anyone else thinks - don't we spend hours telling our dc not to succomb to peer pressure?!! If he will thrive better at AGS then really you would be doing him a disservice by sending him to KES. IMHO

ps we're not borderline so I'm not saying that because I'm hoping you'll free up a place

[kenyancowgirl]

We are in the same position with our DS. No chance of going back to KES to make sure 100 percent that we want our DS to go to AGS. People keep telling us we'd be wasting an opportunity, but AGS is a brilliant school and we think this school would be better socially for him. It's a dilemma because there is an expectation amongst peers. However,for us, the school seemed quite antiquated. Whole different feel to it. For some that's a positive thing. So we are in the KES dilemmma. Exclusive elite vs integral progressive modern. Thanks for your post. Made me feel less alone in my angst.

Go with your gut instinct and ignore other people. Both schools are vastly different and do not suit everybody!! Whilst we loved KES for our boys, we really didn't like AGS and would not countenance even putting it on the CAF. Other friends are completely the opposite - it is not a one size fits all scenario. They are so different you have to choose the one that suits your child best and let other people's opinions go hang. A happy child in the right school will do better than an unhappy child in the wrong school.