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PostPosted: Tue Oct 01, 2019 3:54 pm 
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Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2018 8:04 pm
Posts: 64
Hello,

I hope it's ok to post here. I was an avid user of this forum for the 18 months prior to my son moving up to secondary school (this September) and find myself still popping back from time to time and remembering the way this took over my life in a way I look back on now and wish it hadn't.

I had hoped my son would pass his 11 plus but did not believe in him being over-tutored for the exam, as I thought he may then struggle if taught to pass the test, as opposed to naturally 'able' to pass. We did lots of mocks at home and he did very well in some, and not so in others. He was a Maths whizz, loved non-verbal but HATED comprehension with a passion. We rode it out and he toddled off early one Saturday morning to sit the test. When he came out he told me it was the hardest test he had taken - twice as hard as any of the mocks he had done. I was worried. I obsessed and fretted over what his result would be and what school we would be allocated (completely away from my son, I might add, who throughout this process remains un-scarred and happy).

Anyway, he ended up scoring I believe 8-10 marks less than required. Possibly less than that, had we pursued waiting lists etc - I don't really know. But we left it there and despite an appeal for a selective school with another entrance test, he did not gain a place at 'our' first choice school for him, didn't qualify for Grammar, and didn't get into 'his' first choice of school. so he was given a place at our local comprehensive school.

I just wanted to post this in case there are any other Parents fretting that their child won't get the required score. (I hate the word fail - as really there is no such thing.) On allocation day I was absolutely devastated and felt I had failed my Son for not having him tutored for longer.

There was nothing I could do about any of this, so I had to bite my tongue and roll with it, and my Son was fairly ok with going to the local school and it transpired that his first choice of alternative non Grammar received a less than complimentary Ofsted report, so all was not as well there as we'd thought.

Fast forward almost 4 weeks into his first term and everything has worked out beautifully. He has made some lovely friends (non Grammar school children - can actually still be clever and polite and well brought up, contrary to some people's belief!) is in top set for everything and gets home 1.5 - 2 hours before his friends who go to further schools/grammar. He has been invited to represent the maths department on the school's open evening and says that the steak bakes are better than Greggs! (What more could he ask for?)

In short, please trust that things happen for a reason and don't get too swept up in the Grammar School game. Your child will not change because he or she attends a particular school. If they have been raised correctly, they'll make friends with like minded children. If they apply themselves and are gifted in a particular subject, they will continue to be. Good luck to everyone receiving results this year and hopefully this puts some of your minds at rest, to show you that sometimes your 'plan' isn't the only plan that can work out for your child. :D


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 01, 2019 4:07 pm 
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Joined: Thu May 01, 2008 5:27 pm
Posts: 4980
Location: london
What a thoughtful post GSHopeful, so kind of you to come back and give perspective and share your good news. Please keep posting!

_________________
mad?


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 01, 2019 4:39 pm 
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Joined: Wed Mar 04, 2009 2:01 pm
Posts: 10064
Location: Herts
Thank you for doing this.

It is a lovely post on a day when many parents are getting results and coming to the end of a long 11 plus journey with perhaps not the outcome that they had been hoping for.

I hope your son continues to thrive at secondary school. He is lucky to have such a supportive parent.

As another poster has already said, the students who do best at secondary school are those with engaged and supportive parents. DG


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 01, 2019 6:12 pm 
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Joined: Mon Sep 11, 2017 9:10 pm
Posts: 122
Great post well done. There are roughly 30 applicants (maybe more) for every grammar school place in Warwickshire so there will inevitably be more people disappointed than happy. Hard working children will thrive in any school and grammar schools are not the be all and end all despite the histeria they seem to create. Who knows, if your DS had got a place he might have ended up hating it and won't do anywhere near as well as he will no doubt do now.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 02, 2019 8:14 am 
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Joined: Mon Aug 31, 2009 3:04 pm
Posts: 484
Wildfuture wrote:
There are roughly 30 applicants (maybe more) for every grammar school place in Warwickshire

Dont fancy those odds!!


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 02, 2019 9:09 am 
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Joined: Thu Oct 08, 2015 1:04 pm
Posts: 72
What a wonderful and thoughtful post. Firstly can I praise your son for handling the whole process so well, and I am really pleased to hear that he is thriving at his new school.

Every word you wrote is true. My DS is currently in Y10 of AGS, but it has not been easy journey for him. I must stress that this is not due to the school (which has been hugely supportive) but just the fact that my son does not like the whole school environment full stop and detests the long journey there and back - something we didn't think would be an issue.

We are now awaiting 11+ results for our DD, however this time we are all a little less stressed about it. My daughter is equally as bright as my son, but in a very different way. She thinks outside the box and is a bit of a free spirit - something which i feel is not necessarily conducive with the 11+ and its time constraints. She has her heart set on SGGS, so we are hoping for her, that she has done enough. Hwvr we are fully prepared that its likely she hasn't...and this time I am ok with that. We are lucky that our two possible comprehensive schools are excellent, but more importantly, she herself really liked her catchment school when we visited and whilst still wanting SGGS, she has told me that she will be ok if it doesn't happen. I know my DD well, and even if she doesn't score enough, I am confident she has every chance of thriving and more importantly - being happy at which ever school she attends.

The 11+ / grammar process is a major moment in their lives offering great opportunities, but it is NOT the be all and end all, and children are just as capable of success outside of grammar school education.

****


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 02, 2019 9:38 am 
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Joined: Mon Oct 21, 2013 7:59 pm
Posts: 6722
Absolutely pegtastic - and I hope that your son feels empowered to change school for 6th form and is happier, when he does. Good luck to your DD too - any free spirit needs to be encouraged, wherever they go but it sounds as if you have great options and are super supportive so, as you say, the opportunities are there, with or without a grammar school.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 03, 2019 2:30 pm 
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Joined: Wed Mar 02, 2016 6:12 pm
Posts: 28
guest201 wrote:
Wildfuture wrote:
There are roughly 30 applicants (maybe more) for every grammar school place in Warwickshire

Dont fancy those odds!!


Don't worry - they're wrong! There's c630 places but nowhere near 20,000 GS applicants - closer to 2000.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 08, 2019 5:24 pm 
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Joined: Thu Oct 08, 2015 1:04 pm
Posts: 72
kenyancowgirl wrote:
Absolutely pegtastic - and I hope that your son feels empowered to change school for 6th form and is happier, when he does. Good luck to your DD too - any free spirit needs to be encouraged, wherever they go but it sounds as if you have great options and are super supportive so, as you say, the opportunities are there, with or without a grammar school.


Thank you Kenyan for your kind words, and thank you for all your support, help & advice over many years on this forum xx It has been invaluable.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 08, 2019 5:32 pm 
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Joined: Mon Oct 21, 2013 7:59 pm
Posts: 6722
Aww...shucks...I needed that on a tough day...! (Shuffles and blushes...)

XX


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