Update and advice for parents going through this process
Posted: Tue Oct 01, 2019 4:54 pm
Hello,
I hope it's ok to post here. I was an avid user of this forum for the 18 months prior to my son moving up to secondary school (this September) and find myself still popping back from time to time and remembering the way this took over my life in a way I look back on now and wish it hadn't.
I had hoped my son would pass his 11 plus but did not believe in him being over-tutored for the exam, as I thought he may then struggle if taught to pass the test, as opposed to naturally 'able' to pass. We did lots of mocks at home and he did very well in some, and not so in others. He was a Maths whizz, loved non-verbal but HATED comprehension with a passion. We rode it out and he toddled off early one Saturday morning to sit the test. When he came out he told me it was the hardest test he had taken - twice as hard as any of the mocks he had done. I was worried. I obsessed and fretted over what his result would be and what school we would be allocated (completely away from my son, I might add, who throughout this process remains un-scarred and happy).
Anyway, he ended up scoring I believe 8-10 marks less than required. Possibly less than that, had we pursued waiting lists etc - I don't really know. But we left it there and despite an appeal for a selective school with another entrance test, he did not gain a place at 'our' first choice school for him, didn't qualify for Grammar, and didn't get into 'his' first choice of school. so he was given a place at our local comprehensive school.
I just wanted to post this in case there are any other Parents fretting that their child won't get the required score. (I hate the word fail - as really there is no such thing.) On allocation day I was absolutely devastated and felt I had failed my Son for not having him tutored for longer.
There was nothing I could do about any of this, so I had to bite my tongue and roll with it, and my Son was fairly ok with going to the local school and it transpired that his first choice of alternative non Grammar received a less than complimentary Ofsted report, so all was not as well there as we'd thought.
Fast forward almost 4 weeks into his first term and everything has worked out beautifully. He has made some lovely friends (non Grammar school children - can actually still be clever and polite and well brought up, contrary to some people's belief!) is in top set for everything and gets home 1.5 - 2 hours before his friends who go to further schools/grammar. He has been invited to represent the maths department on the school's open evening and says that the steak bakes are better than Greggs! (What more could he ask for?)
In short, please trust that things happen for a reason and don't get too swept up in the Grammar School game. Your child will not change because he or she attends a particular school. If they have been raised correctly, they'll make friends with like minded children. If they apply themselves and are gifted in a particular subject, they will continue to be. Good luck to everyone receiving results this year and hopefully this puts some of your minds at rest, to show you that sometimes your 'plan' isn't the only plan that can work out for your child.
I hope it's ok to post here. I was an avid user of this forum for the 18 months prior to my son moving up to secondary school (this September) and find myself still popping back from time to time and remembering the way this took over my life in a way I look back on now and wish it hadn't.
I had hoped my son would pass his 11 plus but did not believe in him being over-tutored for the exam, as I thought he may then struggle if taught to pass the test, as opposed to naturally 'able' to pass. We did lots of mocks at home and he did very well in some, and not so in others. He was a Maths whizz, loved non-verbal but HATED comprehension with a passion. We rode it out and he toddled off early one Saturday morning to sit the test. When he came out he told me it was the hardest test he had taken - twice as hard as any of the mocks he had done. I was worried. I obsessed and fretted over what his result would be and what school we would be allocated (completely away from my son, I might add, who throughout this process remains un-scarred and happy).
Anyway, he ended up scoring I believe 8-10 marks less than required. Possibly less than that, had we pursued waiting lists etc - I don't really know. But we left it there and despite an appeal for a selective school with another entrance test, he did not gain a place at 'our' first choice school for him, didn't qualify for Grammar, and didn't get into 'his' first choice of school. so he was given a place at our local comprehensive school.
I just wanted to post this in case there are any other Parents fretting that their child won't get the required score. (I hate the word fail - as really there is no such thing.) On allocation day I was absolutely devastated and felt I had failed my Son for not having him tutored for longer.
There was nothing I could do about any of this, so I had to bite my tongue and roll with it, and my Son was fairly ok with going to the local school and it transpired that his first choice of alternative non Grammar received a less than complimentary Ofsted report, so all was not as well there as we'd thought.
Fast forward almost 4 weeks into his first term and everything has worked out beautifully. He has made some lovely friends (non Grammar school children - can actually still be clever and polite and well brought up, contrary to some people's belief!) is in top set for everything and gets home 1.5 - 2 hours before his friends who go to further schools/grammar. He has been invited to represent the maths department on the school's open evening and says that the steak bakes are better than Greggs! (What more could he ask for?)
In short, please trust that things happen for a reason and don't get too swept up in the Grammar School game. Your child will not change because he or she attends a particular school. If they have been raised correctly, they'll make friends with like minded children. If they apply themselves and are gifted in a particular subject, they will continue to be. Good luck to everyone receiving results this year and hopefully this puts some of your minds at rest, to show you that sometimes your 'plan' isn't the only plan that can work out for your child.