I have a DC in year 5, starting to prepare for grammar exams and I have been lurking on this site for a while. I am so upset and angry at the moment, I am not sure I can be coherent, and apologies if this turns into a rant, but I would really appreciate your advice or opinion.
Here is the story. A teacher at the school, I'll call this person X, did something inexplicable and inexcusable in my eyes, in my and my DC's presence. At the time I was so stunned and speechless with shock and not wanting to upset my child further, left without saying anything. My DC, who has Asperger's and a very grown-up view of the world, wanted an explanation of why X behaved like that. I didn't want to lie and I just tried to give the impression that it was all OK. However, it is not easy to pull the wool over DC's eyes, as the questions were so probing, and I could not come up with any sensible explanation but to say that teachers, just like any other person, are not perfect and do not always do the right thing. I try to teach my DC that if you do something wrong you have to face the consequences, and as it became very clear to me that DC was deeply hurt by X's actions, I made a complaint to the HT. The HT's response after "investigating" was that X had denied what happened and that the HT had no reason not to believe X, as there were no witnesses, according to them. Basically, their position is that it's my word against X's and I can't prove anything. The HT has not even bothered to speak to my DC, even though my DC was a witness, so to them my DC's word clearly means nothing! The HT said if I'm not happy to make a complaint to the governors, but as the school's position is that I can't prove anything, I don't know what good it will do.
Meanwhile, it is clear that my DC is very traumatised by this whole thing, talks negatively of not only X, but the whole school, refuses to participate in any school activities, because X might be somehow involved. DC is very high-performing academically, top set in all subjects. I fear that feeling so negative about the school at the moment will affect DC's performace at school, and is in year 5, which is critical, just before grammar exams! But worst of all is that on some occasions when I have accidently mentioned something that my DC somehow associates with the incident with X, my DC has gone into a shock-like state, freezing like a human statue and eyes rolling back like in a fit. This is something related to the ASD and triggered by the thought of what X did. It is frightening. I think my DC needs councelling, possibly therapy, or an assessment by a psychiatrist. I don't know what to do, but we can't go on like that. I feel the school is responsible for this. What can I do? Do I have any legal rights and can I hold them responsible and ask them to take any kind of action?
Unfortunately, changing the school is not an option for us. DC has a statement, the school's Senco is very good, and this school is considered the best in our area.