11 Plus Exams Forum

DD forever being invited to sleepovers, and until recently I always said yes. Then realised how teary and emotional she was for days afterwards as so zonked from lack of sleep. I've now banned then unless in the holidays, but not all DD's friends seem to suffer like this - what's your experience?

I think it depends very much on the individual child. The ones that need more sleep tend not to enjoy them as much as the ones who seem to be able to keep going on the bare minimum. If the sleepover party consists of both types it can cause problems. If, on the other hand, you have two girls of the first type who announce their intention to have a midnight feast and gossip until 4 am, it can be quite amusing to hear snores coming from the room by half-past-ten (as expected).

My dd is on a sleepover as we speak and I know that on Monday/Tuesday she's going to be grumpy through lack of sleep.

Having said that, I wouldn't stop her going for the world. It's great for them to be able to socialise outside of school, especially for those children who live further out than others (as a lot of the children do in DD's school).

I also enjoy the peace and quiet But know I'll pay for it when we invite them back actually, having said that, I have noticed of late that they are calming down from all the shenanigans of primary school - ie: they realise it's not as exciting to stay up till 2 am as they thought it was and will actually go to sleep after being asked only 4 times instead of the usual 10 times at midnight

I agree with Snowdrops that they do calm down and get more sensible.

Both my older DDs are at a school where the girls come from sooo far and wide that sleepovers are a norm in order to socialise.
I am happy doing them in term time.I will be strict about bedtimes for 2 or 3 days afterwards and they seem to catch up.
However if you have a child with more of a need for sleep . it seems sensible to limit them.I personally would refrain from an all out ban in term time, as they may get left out but that is just my opinion.You must do what seems right for your daughter.

Hate them. Never had them when we were kids. My kids hate them too as they are always too tired to function for several days after. I have pretty much stopped them after realising that most parents hate them too (a bit like party bags); but mainly because one of my children had a serious accident upon return from one - a result of overtiredness and resulting lack of judgement - which ended up with broken bones and a horrible amount of distress and hassle for us all.

Aren't I a great and cheery person to have on this forum?!

It would be useful to know what ages we are talking about.My older two are 14 and 12.They are sensible enough at that age to go to sleep relatively early and to make an effort to catch up on sleep. It's obviously a different story if children are young or unable to realise when they need to sleep.

Hmmm...well, my children are not tiny and are technically old enough to know when they need sleep. They are just not very good at doing it in other people's houses, surrounded by other children. Perhaps they are lacking in maturity and insight? Or just kids. I dunno.

I really did find, like Snowdrops, that once they had been in secondary school for a while they learned to like sleep more and matured re this issue at least.
When we have girls over for sleepovers now as we do almost fortnightly, I barely know we have them now.
I do remember the first ever sleepover we did, when eldest was 10, that I had to stand in the room until they started to drop off to sleep(after several polite requests to do so). We didn't do one again for a while.If we had an occasional child who wouldn't settle when they were a couple of years younger, then frankly they were bottom of the list for a revisit.
They really do handle it so much better as they get older and with the far flung distances their friends come from, it is the only way to socialise.

However I suppose it is also dependant on how sensible the group of friends are too.

My DD, since whenever she started having/going to sleepovers was the one who fell asleep first and therefore was the one who had her face drawn on, was photographed with knickers on her head etc etc. As a result she is usually quite cheery afterwards but doesn't like them much!

Having a single friend round for a sleepover is a very common occurrence for us, as like CM, DSs friends live miles away. But I hate sleepovers when there is more than one friend as these do become harder to keep under control, and so have only very occassionally had these on birthdays.