Prioritise the younger sibling?

Chelmsford mum · Post by **Chelmsford mum** » Mon May 03, 2010 12:34 pm

T.i.p.s.y wrote: but I think this school is on a equal par to the other school - slightly different but as prestigious.

Do you really believe this? If you do then of course they should be together but I am not sure you really think they are on a par...acdemically/opportunities etc?

Looking for help · Post by **Looking for help** » Mon May 03, 2010 1:07 pm

T.i.p.s.y wrote:This is how I feel at the moment LFH but OH disagrees!

Potentially though I am mad

so it might be better to follow your OH's point of view

doodles · Post by **doodles** » Mon May 03, 2010 2:11 pm

I am definately of the opinion that different schools suit different children. Both DS's have had the same prep education but I am sure that they will not end up at the same senior school.

I certainly wouldn't move DS1 to accomodate DS2 I can only think that particular can of worms should remain firmly shut! The fallout in later years could be horrendous.

But hey, this is my ideal opinion for an ideal world and as far as I can see we don't live in one of those !!!!!!

Sorry to rant

Minesatea · Post by **Minesatea** » Mon May 03, 2010 2:38 pm

there must be parents in a similar situation who would choose to send the older sibling to a good comp instead of the GS to secure a sibling policy place for their other children

Living in the area of a good comprehensive, but with a fast expanding population, we did briefly consider this for ds1 to ensure dd would get a place. However we decided the need for ds to be in the "right" school for him was more important.

Having now started at a boys only grammar school there will never be any option of having them at school together again so I accept that we have to now make decisions for her education that can be based on her needs. In someways having children of different sexes may be easier now as they know they can't be together!

The problem is that although DS would thrive there it is oversubscribed so would be difficult to get into

If this is the case, is it going to be any easier to get ds1 into or does he already have a place?

Rugbymum · Post by **Rugbymum** » Mon May 03, 2010 9:29 pm

Minesatea wrote: In someways having children of different sexes may be easier now as they know they can't be together!

I agree - its so much easier making decisions about my daughter's future education now that her brother is at a boys grammar school.

T.i.p.s.y · Post by **T.i.p.s.y** » Mon May 03, 2010 9:41 pm

I think DS1 would get a place at his brother's choice even though it is oversubscribed and I wouldn't be moving DS1 as he hasn't started senior school yet. I suppose I need to see how the next couple of months go but if I had known about the lack of sibling policy I think I would have thought through this more carefully.

SSM · Post by **SSM** » Tue May 04, 2010 7:43 am

I think it's unfair to send DS1 to a school in order to get DS2 into it later. If the new school is just as suitable for DS than that is a different story.

You will just have to do a very good job of selling it to DS1, as the last thing you would want is for DS1 to think you are sending him to the new school just so that DS2 can get a place there in a couple of years time.

pheasantchick · Post by **pheasantchick** » Tue May 04, 2010 8:02 am

When readingthe OP, my gut impression was that DS1 would probably resent going to DS2's preferred choice if he has already decided on school1, and then may consequently resent DS2 also.

Also, once DS1 is at school1, then DS2 may then decide he prefers that school and not school2. How many years are there between the DS's? Children are apt to change their mind, just because at the open evening, they saw something they liked at one school and not the other.

Incidently, my husband and siblings (twin boys + sister) went to three different senior schools. Two travelled 5 miles to get to their schools, and one went to the local comp. I can also imagine that my two will end up at different schools due th their different abilities.

Post by **mitasol** » Tue May 04, 2010 8:03 am

Although they deny having a sibling policy the impression they have given me is that if DS1 went there then DS2 would more than likely get in

Without a sibling policy you have no way to hold them to an offer for DS2. Further down the road you could find yourself in exactly the same position having sacrificed DS1 for no gain.

Your life is sounding increasingly like an epic novel of ambition, rivalry and whispered promises!

T.i.p.s.y · Post by **T.i.p.s.y** » Tue May 04, 2010 9:02 am

Gosh, you make it sound so interesting mitasol when I am thoroughly bored to tears with the whole thing!