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Hi Dawn
Your daughter sounds a lot like mine. She has literally been bored to tears at primary school and in my experience class teachers do not really understand what a 'gifted' child is. I'm not a fan of the label, but I use it to differentiate between a bright child and a child who learns differently and suffers genuine distress when their needs aren't met. Your post rang lots of bells - being bored stiff by the weeks of repetition in class when she can pick up something in one lesson, the 'extension' work that was just 'more' work and left her asking me 'What's the point of me doing more of this when I get 100% right anyway?' I told her not to bother, because there was no point.
I gave up trying to get them to understand, as every time I broached the subject I felt the teachers' hackles rise and at times they took this out on my daughter in class (like I think your head teacher did in a terrible way). I didn't want to tell a professional how to do their job, but I knew my daughter and I knew that her needs weren't being met. Had I possessed the resources, I would have moved her to another school where she might have been better understood.
In September she’ll start at grammar school. She is the first person in seven years to get a place there from her primary school. I honestly don't think most teachers see 'gifted' children very often and so don't actually know how to cater for them.
Best of luck with whatever you decide, I know just how hard it is to be a parent of such a child – and how difficult it is to make teachers understand what they need from their school.
Your daughter sounds a lot like mine. She has literally been bored to tears at primary school and in my experience class teachers do not really understand what a 'gifted' child is. I'm not a fan of the label, but I use it to differentiate between a bright child and a child who learns differently and suffers genuine distress when their needs aren't met. Your post rang lots of bells - being bored stiff by the weeks of repetition in class when she can pick up something in one lesson, the 'extension' work that was just 'more' work and left her asking me 'What's the point of me doing more of this when I get 100% right anyway?' I told her not to bother, because there was no point.
I gave up trying to get them to understand, as every time I broached the subject I felt the teachers' hackles rise and at times they took this out on my daughter in class (like I think your head teacher did in a terrible way). I didn't want to tell a professional how to do their job, but I knew my daughter and I knew that her needs weren't being met. Had I possessed the resources, I would have moved her to another school where she might have been better understood.
In September she’ll start at grammar school. She is the first person in seven years to get a place there from her primary school. I honestly don't think most teachers see 'gifted' children very often and so don't actually know how to cater for them.
Best of luck with whatever you decide, I know just how hard it is to be a parent of such a child – and how difficult it is to make teachers understand what they need from their school.
Unbelievable - i'd ask him what he thought he was doing acting so unprofessionally - he didn't know your DD's friends did/didn't know she may try out for another school so should have kept quiet - even so he should not approach your DD about it, rather he should talk to you. I'd hate to be a teacher in his school if he is so indiscreet and insensitive and rude. Can see why you'd want to take DD elsewhereDawn wrote:One step closer to making a decision!
Head said in front of her friends, "so you are going for a taster day at x school are you?" He then asked her how much the fees were, she told him (she had a rough idea) and he said, "your parents must be very rich then, tell your Mum you can keep coming here for only £1,500 per term." He clearly thinks he is very funny but her friends now know and he has no idea exactly what I want to discuss with him.
My meeting with him, whenever it happens, should now be very interesting!!
I am sorry but I really cannot let that go unchallenged. As you know, I am a teacher: I am also the parent of a child who might well be 'gifted', though I don't like the term and don't use it myself about him.I honestly don't think most teachers see 'gifted' children very often and so don't actually know how to cater for them.
'Most teachers' have to deal with a full range of ability in a class. This will include children who perform very highly across one or more areas of the curriculum. There are children who do this because they are naturally very bright; there are others who do it because they are encouraged (or, dare I say it, on occasion, pushed) at home; for most it is a mixture of the 2. A very tiny number of those children will be what scientists might call 'gifted' as an objective measure. These would be extremely high-functioning individuals and there are internationally agreed criteria to identify it. I agree that most teachers in mainstream education would not encounter many children like that and might need guidance in dealing with it, just as they might if a child with Asperger's or dyslexia was in the class. However, the number of children in this category is vanishingly small compared with the number whose parents believe them to fall into it. I am not suggesting in any way that your daughter is not one who does and that you do not have a genuine grievance with the school. But teachers' hackles do rise on occasion when confronted with parents who really do believe that being able to write neatly, perform all the tricks required in class, research several perfect pages of homework, even get full marks in spelling tests, etc amounts to giftedness. There is a continuum of intelligence and aptitude for academic tasks: some will be at one end and some at the other, most somewhere in the middle. Only the very ends of that curve amount to disability or giftedness, but there is very high intelligence in there as a feature of the 'normal' continuum. It is the job of a teacher to cater for all on that continuum and I reckon most of the time, most of them do pretty well. Just as in all jobs though, some are better than others, and some will cater for the very bright, the very poor or the very average better than others. There is actually some evidence that the 'silent majority' - those who do OK but aren't brilliant, and who never make a fuss, are the least well-catered for in our education system, not the very brightest or the very weakest.
What I am trying to say is that we are only human beings, and we do have feelings. (Though Dawn, you HT sounds a bit of a loose canon! You will get great pleasure from walking out of there, I bet!) Teachers get blamed for pretty much everything these days, and yet they have to cope with initiative after initiative, changes of curriculum and policy, changes in the way children are assessed, safeguarding issues. There start to be issues with self-esteem if one's professional abilities are constantly challenged and called into question. If children are bored at school, then that is bad, of course, and I am not seeking to defend it...but the system we have only allows us to do our best.
Amber,
I don't, blame the teachers within the school for my daughter being bored. I do appreciate that there are limits to what a single teacher can achieve in a class of 32 children. I also accept that the child who is struggling to grasp the topics needs more help than those who can easily understand. I have a couple of friends who are Primary teachers (one at my daughter's school) and I do understand how frustrated they are when they are not allowed to to their jobs in the way that they would like.
I suspect, although I am trying to keep an open mind, that DD school will not be able to offer any help, not because of an unwillingness on the part of DD's teacher, but as a result of lack of resources. This, of course, raises other issues about how all children can best be catered for in school.
I do not consider DD to be 'gifted', but I do know that she is brighter and more able than the majority of her peers. She has always been that way, she is a September baby so is also older than many. Her school has a history of failing to identify 'bright' children. My DS was told that he was not considered good enough at Maths to join the gifted and talented programme when he was there, he was a little put out but not overly bothered. He did go on to score 98% in Year 6 maths SATS and is now getting straight A's and A*'s at a very competitive Grammar.
As I say, I really do not blame the teachers at DD's school, the Head on the other hand......
I don't, blame the teachers within the school for my daughter being bored. I do appreciate that there are limits to what a single teacher can achieve in a class of 32 children. I also accept that the child who is struggling to grasp the topics needs more help than those who can easily understand. I have a couple of friends who are Primary teachers (one at my daughter's school) and I do understand how frustrated they are when they are not allowed to to their jobs in the way that they would like.
I suspect, although I am trying to keep an open mind, that DD school will not be able to offer any help, not because of an unwillingness on the part of DD's teacher, but as a result of lack of resources. This, of course, raises other issues about how all children can best be catered for in school.
I do not consider DD to be 'gifted', but I do know that she is brighter and more able than the majority of her peers. She has always been that way, she is a September baby so is also older than many. Her school has a history of failing to identify 'bright' children. My DS was told that he was not considered good enough at Maths to join the gifted and talented programme when he was there, he was a little put out but not overly bothered. He did go on to score 98% in Year 6 maths SATS and is now getting straight A's and A*'s at a very competitive Grammar.
As I say, I really do not blame the teachers at DD's school, the Head on the other hand......
Dawn, my post was in response to what I saw as a very specific criticism from another poster, and not to your own concerns. I do think there is a tendency to blame teachers generally if parents do not think bright children are stretched. I am afraid I do tend to come at this from a 'does it really matter?' angle - my views on school starting age in this country are well known and I believe we have an overheated approach to schooling in the early years which tends to rob children of a decent childhood.
My own daughter was also not identified as bright at primary (private!) but as soon as she got to secondary was whisked off into G&T and fast track and goodness knows what - despite missing 2 years of school as well. My little one spends most of his day at school dreaming up schemes for when he gets home, but I am afraid I have a laissez-faire approach to it at the moment - the time I will be concerned is probably around Year 6-8 if there is no sign of engagement with the curriculum by then. As you now know from your son, the real business starts when they are older and if they are happy when young, that is all that is really important. Some of that of course depends on being stretched at school, but how much, I really think is down to the parents and the perceptions they pass on to their children. Your school's head sounds as if he has behaved very badly towards your daughter and he had no business asking her what he did. Even without your other grievances, you have plenty to complain about. I did not want to seem as if I were unsympathetic to your particular case, but I do sometimes feel a bit ground down by the anti-teacher sentiments which are often expressed by the parents of able children.
Good luck with your big decision!
My own daughter was also not identified as bright at primary (private!) but as soon as she got to secondary was whisked off into G&T and fast track and goodness knows what - despite missing 2 years of school as well. My little one spends most of his day at school dreaming up schemes for when he gets home, but I am afraid I have a laissez-faire approach to it at the moment - the time I will be concerned is probably around Year 6-8 if there is no sign of engagement with the curriculum by then. As you now know from your son, the real business starts when they are older and if they are happy when young, that is all that is really important. Some of that of course depends on being stretched at school, but how much, I really think is down to the parents and the perceptions they pass on to their children. Your school's head sounds as if he has behaved very badly towards your daughter and he had no business asking her what he did. Even without your other grievances, you have plenty to complain about. I did not want to seem as if I were unsympathetic to your particular case, but I do sometimes feel a bit ground down by the anti-teacher sentiments which are often expressed by the parents of able children.
Good luck with your big decision!
Amber,
I do get where you are coming from. If my daughter wasn't unhappy due to the level of boredom at school I would be happy to leave things as they are in the knowledge that she will exceed any random targets set for the end of Year 6 under her own steam! I just can't bear the thought of two more years of, "how was school today?" "Boring Mum!!"
Personally, I think teachers do a wonderful job under very difficult circumstances sometimes. I particularly feel for the teachers at DD's school who get very little support from the Head.
I do get where you are coming from. If my daughter wasn't unhappy due to the level of boredom at school I would be happy to leave things as they are in the knowledge that she will exceed any random targets set for the end of Year 6 under her own steam! I just can't bear the thought of two more years of, "how was school today?" "Boring Mum!!"
Personally, I think teachers do a wonderful job under very difficult circumstances sometimes. I particularly feel for the teachers at DD's school who get very little support from the Head.