Another "rewards" thread with a rant thrown in :)

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Chelmsford mum
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Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 7:16 pm

Another "rewards" thread with a rant thrown in :)

Post by Chelmsford mum »

My eldest did an early GCSE yesterday.She and most of her year, judging by previous years, is expected to get an A*.
At dinner time this lead to a discussion between her and her friends about rewards when they do all of their GCSEs.It would seem that the vast majority of her peers have been promised a sum ranging from £30 - £100 for each A* they get, starting with yesterday's exam.

More than one has been promised a car :shock: :shock: for good exam results.

At the risk of sounding like an old lady, I received nothing for my GCSE or A level results.I did get taken for a meal and got a small gift when I graduated.I didn't resent this.Perhaps I am strange (don't answer that) but I regarded the results as the reward.
I think I will probably take my daughter out for a meal of her choice when she finishes her exams (not when she gets the results), to reward the effort. I might treat her to an new outfit if funds allow but not linked to the results.There are so many ways in which I think lavish rewards for academic achievement are sending out the wrong message.
Am I alone..... :?
chicko-mum
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Joined: Wed Apr 28, 2010 12:19 pm

Re: Another "rewards" thread with a rant thrown in :)

Post by chicko-mum »

No you're not - alone that is (won't comment on being strange :D). I agree with you that you should reward effort and not results and your plan sounds good to me. We're nowehere near GCSEs yet, oldest DC Yr 5, but have found that words of praise can mean more to her than £ or a new top - lucky for us she doesn't have expectations of expensive pressies! :lol:
marigold
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Location: essex

Re: Another "rewards" thread with a rant thrown in :)

Post by marigold »

Thanks Chelmsford Mum, forewarned is forearmed.

My daughter will be doing the IT exam next summer, so I will start mentioning now not to expect any pecuniary rewards. A car for GCSE's ? God give me strength.

PS She is on the Rhine trip this week. We had a text at 6am this morning saying brilliant so far especially the food!
zorro
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Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2008 10:27 am
Location: Barnet, Herts

Re: Another "rewards" thread with a rant thrown in :)

Post by zorro »

I agree.
DS has just had Y8 internal exams and got mostly A's- we gave him an itunes card (£15) and he was perfectly happy.
For good GCSE results- don't know what the expectations will be, but he will probably get a meal out as he did when he got into his school 2 yrs ago.
Possibly good A level results would warrant somehting more substantial but we will wait and see, that's a few years away!
A new car? :roll: :roll: :roll:
First-timer
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Location: Essex

Re: Another "rewards" thread with a rant thrown in :)

Post by First-timer »

Reward as you see fit. DC are unlikely to have a conversation within earshot about the other DC who are getting diddly for effort/achievement.

It's a while away for me but I suspect I will give a small reward at the time of the exams and the main reward will be linked to the results. I know that's not the popular view on here but I believe you sit the exam to achieve a certain result, not just to have a go at it. It needn't always be an A* either. If my DS surpasses expectations in a subject that will be rewarded too, even if it's not a great mark in and of itself.
Chelmsford mum
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Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 7:16 pm

Re: Another "rewards" thread with a rant thrown in :)

Post by Chelmsford mum »

First-timer wrote:Reward as you see fit. DC are unlikely to have a conversation within earshot about the other DC who are getting diddly for effort/achievement.
I know what you mean but I do believe that the majority will be rewarding as described earlier.So many of them received things like I-phones just for year 7 and 8 exams.I think it is madness myself and out of proportion to the attainment involved.(There again more than one of her friends got a laptop and a pony for passing the 11+. :shock: )
Maybe I am just a grumpy old lady though :lol:
First-timer
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Location: Essex

Re: Another "rewards" thread with a rant thrown in :)

Post by First-timer »

No, I think you're being sensible. I wonder if parents of DC at independent schools give more expensive presents than their GS counterparts. Or have they already used up their expendable income on school fees? Cars and ponies seem ridiculous to me.
doodles
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Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2009 9:19 pm

Re: Another "rewards" thread with a rant thrown in :)

Post by doodles »

Am with you CM. I seem to remember that after my 'O' Levels my mum paid for me to go to the hairdressers and I think we had a special Sunday Lunch (that being THE meal in our family).

Didn't get a car until I bought one myself!

It's a while off for us thankgoodness and perhaps by the time we get there we will all have been well and truly credit crunched!
Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad !
mad?
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Re: Another "rewards" thread with a rant thrown in :)

Post by mad? »

I'm with you CM. At some point DC have to realise that the outcome itself is of benefit to them and that in itself is why it is worth working. At what point are kids to realise that in life most of us work hard, get little and get on with it? :evil:
mad?
Chelmsford mum
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Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 7:16 pm

Re: Another "rewards" thread with a rant thrown in :)

Post by Chelmsford mum »

First-timer wrote:No, I think you're being sensible. I wonder if parents of DC at independent schools give more expensive presents than their GS counterparts. Or have they already used up their expendable income on school fees? Cars and ponies seem ridiculous to me.
I have to go out soon ,but as a final thought, arising from your comment....
It seems to me that superselective schools are crammed full with children who had independent back ups/alternatives if they didn't get in.I think this leaves them with a lot spare cash.

However, I know it may sound like sour grapes, and I don't intend it that way, but I hope that even if I had a similar income I might exercise some discernment re appropriate levels of reward.Children need to learn to motivate themselves with success itself as the reward.

Anyway little rant over :D
Oh -Hi Mad? - you beat me to it. :D
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