Another "rewards" thread with a rant thrown in :)

[Amber]

Agree with every word of that CM.

There is a link between this and the children who are starting university unable to load a washing machine or cook a meal. And those who start school literally never having been told 'no!' So tempting to cosset and protect, reward and encourage; much harder to be tough and expect them to do something themselves and for its own sake.

[mad?]

I'm completely with you CM. In my experence performance reviews might lead to a bonus (although not in recent history!) and the opportunity to develop further by taking on more work and responsibility which in turn leads to more money. No such thing as anautomatic cost of living rise where I am. So in essence, like in education, the 'reward' is the opportunities that excellent performance bring. That said, I fear the last opportunity just left the room

[Looking for help]

Me too, CM, it is absolutely true what you say, and also there are those teenagers who go off to university and don't like it, and come home after 3 and a half weeks, with debt and no degree and then want to try again next year, etc etc.
They do have to grow up at some stage and giving them everything on a plate will not equip them to deal with the world.
I stick my fingers in my ears and sing loudly whenever anyone says to me 'But mum, so and so is getting £x for each GCSE , how much will I get for an A?' , so now it has become a sort of joke in our house.

[Amber]

You could try subtracting it from your bill for 16 years of meals laid on, washing and ironing done, wounds mended, lifts all over the place, hugs given in support etc, without which there would be no grade A or grade anything else. Not much of that kind of thing given by bosses in the real world either.

[Marylou]

Amber, you've reminded me of a song we used at a school assembly long ago when it was in the charts: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iq74uCotnfs - just replace the **** with a well-known video website to get the link.
and at Steve Wright's throwaway comment at the end...

edited to add another memory - it was a vinyl record and when we played it during assembly it stuck at the "wiping your nose" line....

[surreydad2010]

I did give presents for both my boys getting into GS (a new Ipod) becuase they both worked their socks off for over a year and they deserved some recognition of their hard work.
I dont intend on anything similar for good exam results though and they know that.
Mine have a little while before GCSEs but they know already that if their grades aren't up to scratch then things like "playstation time" will suffer as a result!

I didn't get anything when I got into GS, or got decent results, may have been given 20p for a bag of chips if my memory serves me correctly!!

[andyb]

I didn't get anything when I got into GS, or got decent results, may have been given 20p for a bag of chips if my memory serves me correctly!!

Wow, that must have been a while ago. 20p won't buy you a chip these days

[surreydad2010]

Yep and still had change for the cinema and the bus home!

[moved]

Don't think I got any financial rewards for O, A level or degree. The rewards are the results. I did, however, buy DD a paperback book each time she sat an entrance exam/11+. DS had a game for the three he sat. Both were very happy. There were no rewards for the results. The presents were sweeteners for the stress that the exams caused at such a young age.

Surely we need to be happy with the intrinsic rewards in life otherwise when we work extremely hard and the government tells us that they are freezing pay and cutting resources by 25% we would struggle to continue the fight!

[cinnamon]

After sitting the entrance exam to my school I was bought ... a mug (it was decorated with something relevant to the school's name). Nothing for O-levels, A-levels or degree - as has been said, doing well was considered reward in itself (and I'm one of 4 children so there wasn't stacks of cash to spare). And we didn't have stacks of 'essentials' (iPods/mobiles/computers) to covet.

I do remember being rather put out that my brother, who took exams a year later, was offered cash for each O-level he passed as my parents felt he needed an incentive. Turned out they were right. However, after a year in the Sixth Form it was decided he'd spent too much time in the common room playing snooker and would be better off leaving!

My elder daughter takes GCSEs next year and definitely won't be lavishly rewarded. Luckily, she knows better than to expect outrageous generosity from her parents!