Year 8 Bedtime?

[chardom]

My DS and I are currently in discussion about what his bedtime should be when he goes back to school in a couple of weeks in YR8. He feels that 10 -10.30pm ( me: ) would be good for him but I'm not too sure.
He gets up at 6.45am to get to school on time and usually arrives home at 6pm, after sports activities, before having his tea and a little break. He then starts on his 90 minute prep which he will normally finish around 8.30pm.
I know he needs some time to relax on school nights but I can't help thinking that he will never get up in the morning or cope with his school day or prep if he goes to bed so late. Am I right in this or just being too over-protective and mean??

[pheasantchick]

Being 'mean and over-protective' is all part of being a Mum! And it shows you care.

I don't have a year 8 child but I do know that different children can cope with different bed-times. My youngest is always awake longer and up earlier than his brother two years older than him. Why don't you have a trial period of 10.30pm, and if it doesn't work, bring it forward, or vice versa. Or have 10pm bedtimes early in the week, and 10.30pm on Thursday and Friday? Whats his current bedtime?

[surreymum]

Last year I made mine start with 9.30 at the beginning of year 8 . However he was able to negotiate a night in the week when he stayed up till ten.

As the year went on I gradually let it slip so that it was actually in bed by 10-he felt he'd won a victory and he was mostly in bed by ten, rather than it dragging on even later.

However by the end of the year he had become really tired, manifesting as even more than the usual level of stroppiness so it has been a relief to reclaim my mostly pleasant boy as he has caught up over the holidays.

[zorro]

Chardom,
My son is just going into Y9. His day is virtually the same as your DS's and in Y8 he went to bed at 10.30 most nights and coped fine with that.

[gloucestermum]

My DS is starting year 9,and in year 8 was in bed by 9.30.The discussion about bedtimes for year 9 hasn't yet happened,but I sense it's coming...........

[Looking for help]

I sooooo laugh at bedtimes. My children have always had a long day starting at 6 30 am, so while they ere having to get up that early I always insisted upon bed time at 9 pm (until they were 6th form - mainly because I needed to get to bed shortly after )

Generally speaking this has meant they were up in their rooms at 9 and never ventured south again till dawn or alarms went off

Once they were in 6th form, I left them to it, going to bed myself before them, although they tended to gravitate there aroud 10 anyway.

Now we have moved house and the youngest is going into year 8, and the oldest two have left school, leaving my third going into 6th form - she is really excited about not having a bedtime, but she still needs to be up at 6 30 for school, while the youngest doesn't really need to be up till 7 30 so what do I do re bedtimes? They don't realise that you are enforcing them so they get a reasonable amount of sleep - they think you are doing it to be mean.....and now I am in the position of letting the youngest stay up till 10 because he can sleep till 7 30 ......oh this parenting business is such fun


The thing is ..... they need the amount of sleep they need, and once they are teenagers or near enough, they should know themselves, I think.

[tense]

If your DS can bounce out of bed on a school morning after staying up until 10 / 10.30pm then you might as well let him - as others have said, like adults, children need varying amounts of sleep.

My DD will be going into Year 9 next week too & has a similar length day wih sports & homework too. Most nights, she will take herself off to bed by 9ish (or earlier) & be fast asleep soon after. Even during the holiays she has voluntarily gone to bed at this time 2 or 3 nights a week.

My DS, going into Year 6, is sent to bed at 8.30ish on a school night, is regularly still wide awake at midnight & a nightmare to get out of bed in the morning

[chardom]

DS's bedtime in Yr 7 was 8.30-9pm and he did not bounce out of bed in morning! Usually had to be physically helped out by removal of duvet after ignoring 2 alarms! By end of Michaelmas term he was grey and pasty looking and could hardly keep his eyes open during the day! Most of his year looked the same apparently, according to their year head! This is why I'm not too sure about the later time. During the holidays I am much more flexible obviously, but last week when he had a sleepover at a friend's house he didn't get to sleep till 3am and then he slept in till 2pm in the afternoon
Think I will try the 10pm bedtime and will mention that this will be re-assessed at half term to see if it's still working. By the way, I am normally in bed by 10pm myself on week nights as I would never get up myself otherwise!

[zorro]

Obviously depends on how well they manage to get out of bed in the morning!!
Also depends on the amount of homework that night too, they will soon adjust.

[mystery]

Son sounds like needs the xtra hours from what you describe. But telling him to go to bed earlier isn't going to work. Possible solutions:

- stop waking him up in the morning. Few days of failing to get to school or to school on time may make the truth dawn on him

or

- fewer after school activities so that can do homework earlier, and have same relaxation time as now before going to bed

or

- postpone 30 mins of homework per night to the weekend so that can have same relaxation time as now before going to bed

or

- cut the power off at the mains at the time you want!!


mmmmmmm, teenagers, who'd have them