What if my child has failed the 11+?
Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2011 11:53 pm
A good article from Andrew Halls, head master of King's College School, Wimbledon
Full article here https://beta.kcs.org.uk/system/files/pa ... 120311.pdfSo what advice can heads give to parents who are still wondering what to do about the unwelcome 11+ letter? The most important advice of all is to make sure your son or daughter does not feel that you see them any differently. Pass or fail, they are still the same child. No child who has lived a mere ten years on planet earth should feel that not getting into St Paul's Girls' or Tiffin Boys' has in any way defined them in the eyes of their family. As a headmaster, some of the unhappiest sights I have seen are those of parents who, in the presence of their own children, appear quite traumatised by their child's "failure". So often, I want to say - I know I have spent every open day telling everyone how marvellous my school is, but, in the end, it is just a school. There are many other brilliant schools in this country, as well as, admittedly, many awful ones.
Sometimes the school that parents think was the perfect fit for their child simply isn't. Headteachers of very academic schools all know that academically much weaker boys or girls who have gained a place, perhaps after intensive tuition or sometimes special pleading, are at high risk of an unhappy school career. Parental, or indeed school, expectations are simply too high, too unrealistic, and bit by bit the child either fades into low-profile apathy, or reacts with anger and anguish, sensing somehow the injustice of being expected to achieve in a way that he simply cannot.
This is where the 11+ bombshell can, after all, be constructive. A school that had barely been considered before swims into view, and bit by bit, a family realises it might fit their child far more completely. In this way, cruel and hard-edged though the 11+ can be, it can also help parents find the school where their child can thrive,fulfil themselves - and be happy. That is worth celebrating, too.