E-Safety Issues

[JaysDarlin]

Can I have some advice/feedback please...

How is everyone doing with their kids online, online gaming with chat rooms, etc. The kids are taught the rules of netiquette and e-safety at secondary school, but how seriously are the guidelines actually taken? Never chat to strangers, dont open mail from those you dont know, dont give anyone your email address etc... but what about when the kids are teens and think they know what they are doing? And are starting to enjoy the way cursing sounds, and the sense of liberty and maturity it seems to give them...... I mean, our kids could be chatting to creeps whilst playing Runescape, Haypi Kingdom, etc... how do we protect them from exploring the world at their fingertips?? What about the apps on the ipod... how does one monitor who the kids are talking to in private chat rooms on their ipods?

How does everyone else approach this area?

Thanks.

[Thingsbehindthesun]

If my girls have an account to a site like moshi monsters, I make sure that I have access to their account and the same would be for email, though they're still too young for that now.There is also alot of parental control software either free or not that allow you set a schedule for when your child is allowed on the Internet.

I'm not sure if I can post a name here but this one is highly recomended from a friend.I've sent you a pm mentioning it and they're currently offering a free trial for 30 days if you want to try it.

[JaysDarlin]

Thanks for that, Thingsbehindthesun. I will check my PM - I was wondering if the mods could give the okay to add which e-safety software programmes people have found useful?

[yoyo123]

I've stuck your message on the dungeon wall for the mods to discuss over tea and a fondant fancy.

yoyo

[JaysDarlin]

Thanks

[xyzzy]

Thanks for that, Thingsbehindthesun. I will check my PM - I was wondering if the mods could give the okay to add which e-safety software programmes people have found useful?

And also what they think the software's protecting them. Computer Security is my trade, and I'm extremely sceptical about all these "parental control" programs. Aside from the fact that they are trivially easy to bypass and the recipes for doing so circulate in playgrounds (see here), and aside from the fact that most children have access to the Internet through a wide range of devices in a wide range of settings, the only thing that "Parental Control" software does is attempt to filter, in a very broad-brush way, access to "bad" websites. Unfortunately, it's very hard to say what us "bad" for any particular household, so they operate on the assumption that there's a fixed set of things you don't want you children to access, and that fixed set is suitable for Baptist family in the flyover states. The RS department routinely sets homework which starts with looking up material that they can't get at from school, anyway, which means that if parents were actually running the same software as the school (which they try to recommend) it would all fail miserably.

There's also the problem that the real risks are not dealt with. The computer problems we've had are all about children managing to lose control of their Facebook accounts, which are then used by other children to send filth in the name of the victim (we've been the recipients of the filth, and the parents of the children who lost control of their accounts were public enemy number one for a while). Parental control software just lulls people into a false sense of security, and the things you need to do to prevent that sort of disaster befalling your own children are in some cases actively harder with parental control software installed. Real security measures --- like, for example, enabling the options that mean others cannot access your Facebook or Gmail account even if they guess or steal your password --- are rarely done by parents on behalf of their children, because the panacea of "security software" gives them a warm fuzzy glow that they are "doing something".

[lara228]

My 10 year old was allowed his own email account this year and knows that I monitor everything that goes in and out (I set it up so that copies arrive in my Outlook account) - it was only under this condition that he was allowed the account. He isn't allowed anything like Facebook or MSM and did have a Club Penguin account which, again, was monitored and he knew never to reply to anyone who contacted him without checking with me first. He does not have his own PC or laptop so has to ask first before using mine. Just lay down the ground rules and make sure children know the boundaries and consequences for crossing them. I don't have any particular parental controls on my PC except for 'moderate filtering' on Google images - which was amusing when he was learning about Ancient Greece and the Vestal Virgins!!! To be honest, with all his school homework and extra study for entrance exams, plus music practice etc - he doesn't have any time to mess around on a computer - I'm more concerned about what he sees when he visits friends - I know it's material that I would not approve of.