Anxious six year old- possible change of school?
Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2012 11:09 am
I have a delightful DD who is becoming more and more anxious about her school work and says that everything is too hard, even when she's done brilliantly. She loved pre school and really flourished there. She loved learning and is naturally 'sparky' (not that we're biased ) However, she has never really liked her primary school constantly asking if it's a school day when she wakes up and often saying she feels sick, has a headache etc and is actually going backwards there. I am concerned about her work, but we can make this up at home. What concerns me more is her confidence and her low esteem as she has recently been moved down for both literacy and numeracy and despite my reassurances that she is with a lovely group she knows- and this upsets me tremendously- that she has been moved from the tops sets and now feels- in her words- that she is 'useless'. (Although she's still in the top phonics group).
I think a further big problem is that the Head has always said she's very bright and now says that they are tracking her as average, totally disregarding the fact that she could do virtually everything on the Birth to Five Achievements Sheets (how ridiculous are all these tick boxes!) before she even started eg counting to twenty, writing some letters etc.
She goes to a school that is rated as excellent, is caring and very high achieving and where her brother did very well. I am beginning to think that this is not the school for her, but am very stressed at the idea of taking such a drastic step as moving her. Also, if I do, I have to decide where to. Unfortunately I am spoilt for choice.
This afternoon we are going to see a tiny school- also rated outstanding- that focuses on the individual and would, I think, build her confidence up. However, there is no parental involvement eg hearing reading, running clubs and for some reason this really bothers me. I am also concerned that we need to find strategies for DD to overcome her anxiety wherever she is and at some stage she'll be with a much bigger group of children than 54! However, it gives verbal feedback and doesn't write all over the children's work in red pen making them feel a failure because they can't spell 'especially' 'delicious' etc Also, whilst it is high achieving, the emphasis is not on tick boxes and becuase it's a small school it can adapt its curriculum.
The second is a much bigger school with lots of opportunities, a little easier to get to, more children to play with, a recorder group (which my daughter loves), but probably more focused on SATS, learning number bonds, tables every night. Obviously I know she needs to do this, but in a more low key way.
I'm very worried about making a mistake in such an important decision and I'm very concerned that DD will make a decision and then change her mind when it will be too late. I have explained this to her, but was particularly worried when she suggested Eeny, Meeny if she couldn't choose!! When I mentioned that we could look at this school she was so excited, fired a million questions and then pronounced that she was 'happy as gold'!
I just feel ill at the idea of taking her out of a school that everyone else is desperately trying to get their children into...
Thanks for reading if you've managed to get this far!
I think a further big problem is that the Head has always said she's very bright and now says that they are tracking her as average, totally disregarding the fact that she could do virtually everything on the Birth to Five Achievements Sheets (how ridiculous are all these tick boxes!) before she even started eg counting to twenty, writing some letters etc.
She goes to a school that is rated as excellent, is caring and very high achieving and where her brother did very well. I am beginning to think that this is not the school for her, but am very stressed at the idea of taking such a drastic step as moving her. Also, if I do, I have to decide where to. Unfortunately I am spoilt for choice.
This afternoon we are going to see a tiny school- also rated outstanding- that focuses on the individual and would, I think, build her confidence up. However, there is no parental involvement eg hearing reading, running clubs and for some reason this really bothers me. I am also concerned that we need to find strategies for DD to overcome her anxiety wherever she is and at some stage she'll be with a much bigger group of children than 54! However, it gives verbal feedback and doesn't write all over the children's work in red pen making them feel a failure because they can't spell 'especially' 'delicious' etc Also, whilst it is high achieving, the emphasis is not on tick boxes and becuase it's a small school it can adapt its curriculum.
The second is a much bigger school with lots of opportunities, a little easier to get to, more children to play with, a recorder group (which my daughter loves), but probably more focused on SATS, learning number bonds, tables every night. Obviously I know she needs to do this, but in a more low key way.
I'm very worried about making a mistake in such an important decision and I'm very concerned that DD will make a decision and then change her mind when it will be too late. I have explained this to her, but was particularly worried when she suggested Eeny, Meeny if she couldn't choose!! When I mentioned that we could look at this school she was so excited, fired a million questions and then pronounced that she was 'happy as gold'!
I just feel ill at the idea of taking her out of a school that everyone else is desperately trying to get their children into...
Thanks for reading if you've managed to get this far!