Should I be worried?
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Re: Should I be worried?
Maybe just ask him to ask a classmate back (not a friend as he might just say "I don't have any") and why not keep it gender neutral?
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Looking for help
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- Location: Berkshire
Re: Should I be worried?
Oh that's a shame, WFG. I'm at a loss other than to suggest you talk to the school, and possibly do as mystery suggests - ask him to ask a classmate back for tea, rather than a friend.
My youngest at primary school had more friends that were girls than boys, and often went to girl's houses for tea, and vice versa. He just didn't enjoy football, and and so didn't gel with most of the boys in his class - he was in a class where there were 21 boys and 9 girls, so the opposite way round. He was fine with it but I guess that#'s because that was the way he'd always been, the difficulty you have is that your son is new to the school.
My youngest at primary school had more friends that were girls than boys, and often went to girl's houses for tea, and vice versa. He just didn't enjoy football, and and so didn't gel with most of the boys in his class - he was in a class where there were 21 boys and 9 girls, so the opposite way round. He was fine with it but I guess that#'s because that was the way he'd always been, the difficulty you have is that your son is new to the school.
Re: Should I be worried?
3 is unfortuantely a very ‘odd’ number concerning group of people because it means there is usually one left out... My DS had this terrible experience last year when he was invited for a birthday with another boy of the class. It turned out that
- First, I chose the ‘wrong’ gifts for the birthday boy, because they were a book (though thoughtfully chosen by me to be at the right level for this particular child) and a game about making words in English ( I can't remember the title now)... it seems I opted for things too ‘intellectual’ (the kind of gift my DS could* be delighted with!)... so the other lad invited showed his ten pounds note to my darling, saying ‘that’s a better gift’!
- Secondly, my DS was not good on the games they were playing with on the play station (because we don’t have a play station at home)... so he was kicked and told swear words by the host boy.
My DS was in tears after the birthday party and I swore myself never to let him go when there are just 3 children.
So I can really understand what your DS is going through, especially if the two other boys have already formed a bond.
Don’t despair though... I am sure time will slowly works wonders – maybe slowly, surely too slowly for your affectionate heart - but keep the teacher informed of your worries... I know that some school organise ‘circle of friends’ or other activities to help in the kind of situation.
All my best wishes to your DS
*edit.. oops, my fingers slipped the wrong direction. I meant 'would'!!!
My careless mistake changed completely what I was saying
And I forgot to precise that on previous occasions, my DS and the host boy have played the game station games without any problems... no kicking, no swear words... Just two boys playing nicely together... I wondered after the birthday party why this boy had invited my DS if it was to treat him in such a way. And even if my DS is a complete dummy with console games, that wouldn't be a reason to treat him as it happened. Where are the rules of hospitality and of 'decent'/correct behaviour?
- First, I chose the ‘wrong’ gifts for the birthday boy, because they were a book (though thoughtfully chosen by me to be at the right level for this particular child) and a game about making words in English ( I can't remember the title now)... it seems I opted for things too ‘intellectual’ (the kind of gift my DS could* be delighted with!)... so the other lad invited showed his ten pounds note to my darling, saying ‘that’s a better gift’!
- Secondly, my DS was not good on the games they were playing with on the play station (because we don’t have a play station at home)... so he was kicked and told swear words by the host boy.
My DS was in tears after the birthday party and I swore myself never to let him go when there are just 3 children.
So I can really understand what your DS is going through, especially if the two other boys have already formed a bond.
Don’t despair though... I am sure time will slowly works wonders – maybe slowly, surely too slowly for your affectionate heart - but keep the teacher informed of your worries... I know that some school organise ‘circle of friends’ or other activities to help in the kind of situation.
All my best wishes to your DS
*edit.. oops, my fingers slipped the wrong direction. I meant 'would'!!!
My careless mistake changed completely what I was saying And I forgot to precise that on previous occasions, my DS and the host boy have played the game station games without any problems... no kicking, no swear words... Just two boys playing nicely together... I wondered after the birthday party why this boy had invited my DS if it was to treat him in such a way.
And even if my DS is a complete dummy with console games, that wouldn't be a reason to treat him as it happened. Where are the rules of hospitality and of 'decent'/correct behaviour?
Last edited by JaneEyre on Thu Jan 26, 2012 3:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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pheasantchick
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Re: Should I be worried?
I can't add anything except to say I hope the situation improves. I've been following your posts for a while now, and feel I know you virtually, although not in the real world. Please send my regards to you son and I hope he finds ome friends soon. Can he make friends from other years through the music groups?
Re: Should I be worried?
Oh dear WFG, just wanted to say I recognise how hard this must be for you. My son is a quirky character & found it very hard to fit in at primary. Luckily, he is doing better now he has moved up to secondary. I hope things improve soon.