11 Plus Exams Forum

I'd like some advice please I'm not sure what to do with DS2 as he has developed a bit of a crush on a girl in his class and is just, well obsessed . He is constantly ringing her up, trying to meet up with her at weekends ( she lives near us ) and wanting me to buy her presents from him ( which I've refused to do ). She is a sweet girl , but let's just say DS2 feelings are not really reciprocated. Yesterday I found out he has been squeezing through a gap in the parks hedge and playing miles away in a field which I've told him not to and he burst into tears saying that if he didn't go there with this girl ( and others ) she wouldn't like him any more I don't want there to be a big altercation the eve of the 11 plus Aaargh ...should I just keep it low key and hope it fizzles out or should I be worried that he seems to be having such a big crush on her...he's only just 10 for goodness sake

I've also just found out that DS1 has been missing his bus on purpose so he can get on a different one as there are more girls on it Is this behaviour normal at such a tender age ??? I didn't even look at a boy until I'd finished my GCSE's.

Perfectly normal and very sweet. Thank goodnes there is another aspect to life than just academics! Mixed buses rule - for my 3 anyway. One of them did have a single sex bus for a while and it was devestating! These little dalliances will help them when it comes to the big love. I would invite the girl for tea and trade it off with some revision payback.

Don't worry - I think it is fairly normal. I found a large bag of notes included in my son's "moving house pile" a few weeks ago, which comprised all the notes he and 3 different girls had been exchanging all year. I can't bring myself to read them so I have no idea of the content!

He was also the only boy in the small choir with 10 girls (although he had to make sure it did not clash with football practice!) - he is friendly with most of the girls, but definitely develops crushes on one or two that throw a few kind words in his direction ...

He seems to change every couple of months though, and some of his favourites from last year no longer even get mentioned, or if they do then it is accompanied by eye rolling!

Mind you, not had the running through hedges for miles to be with his female friends - we were at least 6 miles from the nearest child, so that was probably enough to put him off!

I would imagine it will fizzle out and may be worth finding more interesting things for him to do than squeezing through hedges ...

I find that my 11 yr old DS has a spring in his step when he is in an activity that has a number of girls so its normal IMO for boys at that age to be interested in girls. However your DS2 does seem to be a bit obsessive particularly since you've said that the girl does not reciprocate.

I suggest that you keep any response low key since nothing fans an obsession more than parental disapproval.

Thanks everyone I'm not worried really about DS1 although it's a bit of a shock to find your compliant geeky son has started lying to you about what bus he's getting and where he is He's been getting off at another town near us to then catch the correct bus ...very sneaky and I only found out because I took him into a sweet shop there and the shop assistant greeted him like an old friend asking if he wanted his usual At least he had the good grace to turn as red as a beetroot

I am a bit worried about DS2 because I think his personality is just a bit obsessive ...he will often get really frustrated over a piece of work if it's not quite right and once he has a bee in his bonnet , then that's it.I have told him not to hassle the poor girl ...but he's worried if he doesn't she'll forget about him. Very annoying ...wanted to say " Treat them mean ..keep them keen " but then thought better of that one ! He just can't do low key ! So, I guess I'll have to. At least DD can't stand " smelly boys "

At least it's only sweets he's buying. Just keep on telling them about the expense of children and you'll be fine.

It does all start surprisingly young. Yours are in fact quite old Scarlett. It must be the Kent water. Both my girls started their interest in boys at about age 4 including secret diaries listing their loved ones, and taking it turns with a particularly popular boy at school on a rota put together by another girl in the class.

That is worrying. Makes me wonder what kind of example you are setting, Mystery.You say your husband is away a lot ?


( Yes, at least it's just sweets . Although he and DS2 have been known to sneak into the pub nearby to buy sweets from the machine in there. Where am I going wrong ???? )

My DS and one of his friends are trying to develop six packs at the moment. They do swimming next term and want to look good in their swimming trunks for the girls in their class He did ask me if, when I was young, I wanted to meet someone with a six pack but ended up with OH

OK, he must definitely be in my DD2's class - aged 5??

Scarlett, , no I think it's a case of them wanting to be the opposite of me!!