Hitting my head on a brick wall

[mystery]

What do you all you clever and helpful people suggest?

My year 1 DD is highly able but not in the top group for maths (they group very early and rigidly at our school). For half a school year I have been trying to find out what the "gap" is so I can close it. I don't particularly care what group she is in, but I don't want gaps developing for nothing through differentiated work.

I never find that she struggles with anything I explain to her at home, but her maths file at school always looks like she doesn't get through much at school - but of course I don't know what other children's files look like. Also the teacher describes her as "slow to grasp new concepts" (I don't find that and neither did a private Ed Psy I used).

I still have not established what the gap is between her group and the one above. The teacher did agree about a term ago to give us the top group homework - this worked for a while - and there was never anything it it that my daughter struggled with, or if there was something she couldn't do I quickly taught her because I think she just wasn't doing it in the group she is in. So we never had any problem with that homework. More recently though we haven't been getting the same homework as the top group.

When I ask about it the teacher says it's because she decides on the basis of the children's answers to questions in the "whole class teaching session on the carpet" which homework to give them.

I guess this must mean it also affects which material you are given in lessons too. I just can't get to the bottom of any of it and it is really frustrating now. I've asked to see the head (without saying what it is about) but I've just had the same answer 3 days in a row now - the head has been passed a note saying I would like to see her.

It's quite possible my DD is completely different at home from at school, but without anyone discussing with me what these differences are so we can work on it, and providing me with some meaningful info on what the gap is between her and the group above, I really don't see how we can constructively work a way forward together. I've tried for two terms now to have a useful and friendly dialogue but still not got anywhere.

[scary mum]

I don't know about the maths bit, although I do understand what you means about missing stuff - DD is still suffering from mssing out things in the lower maths group at primary school and she is in year 11 (we were rather unaware with DC1 ). On a practical note with the school, I would suggest you push and push with for the meeting with the head - to the point of banging on the door and barging in with a smile on your face. He/she will then say that they need to discuss it with the class teacher, at which point you put all your concerns and questions into an email just in case she misunderstands you. Then when you don't get a satisfactory answer I would write to the head of the goverbors with your concerns, forwarding any emails to them. If you aren't getting anywhere it doesn't sound as though there is a softly, softly approach that will work. You can also request details of any tests your DD has sat, which may give you insight into whether there are any areas where she is genuinely struggling.

Good luck.

[DenDe]

I think if it were me I would give up on this teacher but prepare instead for next year. Your DD is only in Yr 1 so there is plenty of time. Can you get hold of Year 1 maths workbooks (CGP?) which cover all the topics relevant for the year, and work through them with your DD. Hopefully the present teacher will see an improvement and DD will be moved into the top set next year.

I have noticed with my own DC that maths work that we do at home is more effective in terms of boosting skills and confidence, than anything done at (primary) school.

[browneyedgirl]

I agree with scary mum you just have to keep banging the door until they hear you. Can you ask to make a formal appt with the head? failing that as scary mum said I would write to the teacher being very polite ( I know you will but you do need her on side ) but very specific about what you want to know and what you would like to happen - then copy your letter to the head. Despite this I think ultimately you may just have to work around her until the end of term.

[mystery]

Thank you both. I'm still weighing up the pros and cons of the two routes you each suggest. I've been down route 1 suggested by Scary Mum with DD1 and it worked - but unofficially - but it was stressful. I tried the softly softly last time and it didn't work which was why I moved on to the Scary Mum route.

At the moment I am doing the Den De route - give up on this year and hope it sorts itself next year. However, this school has a very rigid tracking system, or whatever you like to call it, and I'm concerned that even if I do improve everything significantly with some work at home (which I already have done) I'll still be up against the go to school to forget everything and come back home to learn something which seems to have been the picture so far for DD2 right the way through reception and year 1. If DD2 was in the top groups and they couldn't provide for her, I could understand it, but when the material is there in the higher groups I am finding it increasingly irritating. I'm concerned that the year 2 groupings will just follow straight on from the year 1 groupings.

So far nothing I have ever written on the homework showing that she could do the top group homework in the past despite not being in that group has received any response other than that the teacher judges what is appropriate from responses to questions on the carpet at some point in the week during a whole class teaching session and the comment at parents' evening that my DD2 is "slow to grasp new concepts".

So thank you, you are helping me to build up the resolve to get a meeting by hook or by crook. What I want is a plan -- here are the gaps the school thinks exist -- I fill them or prove they don't need filling - then we discuss the what next. I hope it's possible .......... is there any reason why it might not be?

[mystery]

I have asked the school secretary three times for an appointment now with the head. Is it usually that difficult to see a head? I am just told they have passed a note to the head, then I hear nothing again until I call again to be told the same thing.

[faitaccompli]

Can you not speak to the head on the phone without going through the secretary? Or email them directly?

My son's old school was streamed, but all 4 streams did exactly the same work - just learning at different speeds. And children were moved up and down streams as required.

[mystery]

Just tried again. Got an appointment pencilled in this time. Thank you for giving me some resolve!!

[Waiting_For_Godot]

I'm not sure your meeting with the head will be fruitful. They will be on the side of the teacher and in turn it could annoy the teacher that you went to the head. If I have a problem with work at school I find it best to just do it yourself at home. There is no reason that you can't find out what the entire maths curriculum is via research online and just do it all yourself.

Or home ed!

[Looking for help]

There's something wrong in my view if you can't get to see the head. At our primary school the head was always around at the start and the end of the day, and so if necessary you could just ask her there and then for an appointment. If he/she refuses to see you you ought to write to the chair of governors.
Just as an aside, I remember the year 1 primary class teacher coming into the playground at the end of one day to tell me in a loud voice that she had moved my daughter from the top table to the middle one in maths as she was struggling. I was most distraught due to the proximity of all the other parents collecting, and can't really remember how we fixed it, but we did. I think that the advice about just doing it all at home and ignoring what's going on in the class is probably the best thing - if the teacher and the head wont help .

But remember it's only year 1 - my struggling middle table daughter passed 11+ and went on to do A Level maths