I'm in a very similar situation to you, DD1 is 12 and thankfully the horrible 11plus experience is now behind us, and like you, I questioned everything in the aftermath. She likes to read, but certainly not the high brow material I used to wish she would! But then, her pals are all reading the same.
DD2 is almost 3, and like you, I wonder if we should upgrade our approach..but in reality, they are two very different children. Whereas DD1 loved books and reading, but showed little interest in puzzles and numbers at an early age, DD2 has shown less interest in books, but has an amazing ability for numbers, puzzles and games.
On that basis I intend to go with the flow, encouraging and giving space for her natural interests to develop, and hopefully giving a helpful nudge, in the direction of her weaker interests and abilities. One thing I have learned from DD1, is that your instincts should always be trusted. Having questioned over the years, what seemed to be a difficulty with phonemics and her ability to break words down..her teachers always dismissed it on the basis that her weekly spelling tests were almost always full marks. But that was because she was great at memorising them, and as seems to be the case with state primaries these days, spelling in her written work was never corrected...that used to drive me mad
So she never actually knew how to properly break a word down. This was picked up by an ed profile done last year. And when I requested the breakdown of her 11plus papers..low and behold, it was the word segment questions where she lost her marks
She's now happy & thriving at a lovely independant, and in that sense we are delighted with the outcome..but when DD2 starts school next year, I will be watching her very closely...and I won't be swayed from my perch, if I think something is not quite right