Should DC be discouraged from having a 'best friend'?

[Pumpkin Pie]

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Should DC at school be discouraged from having a 'best friend'? Is it better to have a large group of friends instead?

[scary mum]

I think it is, but you can't dictate to them - if you push them one way they will go the other. Encourage them to be involved with lots of different people, when they are younger have plenty of people for tea (says she who didn't do this very much!!). Go with the flow and be there when they fall out. My children have never particularly had "best" friends (in an exclusive sense) but that was by accident rather than design and has led to them sometimes feeling left out if others are all paired up. Some mothers actively encourage it (which has resulted in one of my DCs being pushed to the side), but heigh ho, that's life I suppose! Sorry if I sound flippant, but my feeling is that there really is little you can do to influence it, other than to not actively encourage an exclusive friendship.

[CarpeDiem]

I would definately encourage a large group of friends and you may find DC will be closer to a couple of friends from within that group. The reason I suggest this is that my DD has a large circle of friends and a couple from within that group were her favourite friends so they were invited around a little more frequently than some of the others. However once they all went to high school the dynamics of the group changed and her 2 so called best friends wanted to hang out with the 'populars' and she didn't. If she had just focussed solely on them she would have been cast adrift but as it was she still had her other friends. I am also aware of girls that did just have a single best friend from DD yeargroup that have been devastated when their BFF has focussed on meeting new people when starting at high school instead of them.

Hope this helps

[turtleglos]

I try really hard not to get involved with my dcs friendships as I believe that they are all individual people who need to learn how to develop their own friendships.