Girls!

[ginx]

I have a 14 year old daughter and an 11 year old, none of us have heard of Hollister. Is it some trendy make?

My 14 year old is beginning to experiment with make up. Does not want her ears pierced, too afraid and just doesn't want them done. She wants to look nice but doesn't want to stand out. I was the same at her age. She does have FB but I check frequently and it is very harmless.

I am shocked by how many girls look like Barbie! I am glad my daughter, with unruly curly hair and a big round face (not fat!) will never look like Barbie.

My 11 year old couldn't be more different. She wants to be grown up. She has short hair but can't wait to wear make up. She's on a residential, I had to remove the make up she had hidden in her bag.

Most year 11 girls I see at our local comp wear make up. They look like t*rts. Maybe I'm just old fashioned. I admire my 14 year old for not being one of the crowd, and am keen for my 11 year old not to grow up too quickly.

Tell me about Hollister ....???

[Amber]

Tell me about Hollister ....???

American shop-the sister shop of Abercrombie which is almost identical inside but costs a bit more as it is for the more mature client (target market age 14 rather than 11 I think - you certainly aren't expected to shop in there post 21, and at any rate anyone with a usual amount of body fat won't find anything to fit). I have been to the branch in London. Outside were pretty boys all shaven with bare chests. I thought it was a gay nightclub at first; but I asked a passer by and I sceptically ventured inside. I was looking for a stripy shirt for DD to wear to school. Inside it was dark, and very noisy, and people were dancing. On some tables were some clothes. I asked a girl if there were any blue and white stripy shirts. After several attempts she was able to lipread me and took out a clipboard which listed the 'rooms' where clothes were displayed. It was too dark to read but luckily she had a torch. We made our way together through the dancing throngs (that's with an 'r', though without would be almost as accurate) and reached a room where shirts were on very high shelves. She got some ladders. 'What size?' she hollered (Hollister, after all). 'I think she is an 8, about the same as you' I mouthed. The girl took offence: 'I'm not an 8!!' she shouted, clearly very offended. She furnished me with a size 'medium' shirt (large is for size 10 monsters) and directed me to an area where a video of the sea was playing on a large screen. After approximately 4 hours the person behind the till served me and wished me 'a good day at the beach'. I pointed out that this was central London and as far as I was aware there was no beach nearby. 'We are told to say that to everyone', he admitted a little sheepishly.

The postscript to this story is that DD did not like the shirt, but I told her she had to have it as there was no way I was going back there again to return it. And in fairness to Hollister, I must say it has washed very well and seems to be of reasonable quality.

Is that enough, ginx?

[Reading Mum]

add in that you need to borrow DD's hockey guards with the ankle protection as they seem to think dark coloured coffee tables are a good idea in a dark shop
I told DD that the shop is so dark to hide the ridiculous prices but she still wanted a look. Most of the summer tops have the most enormous armholes - all the better to flash your bra with I guess.

[aliportico]

I think all you can do is keep talking to them about all this stuff. Make sure they are praised for all aspects of themselves, and don't let the weight of our expectations burden them.

I have a 16 year old geeky dd, who is just starting to experiment with something other than jeans and a t-shirt She is at an all girl school, which seems to have helped her hang onto the lack of self consciousness that used to drive me mad when she was ten and throwing a tantrum in the street!

My just 15 year old would probably get a few tuts here - short skirts, bleached blonde (complete with shaved bit on the side), lots of eye liner - but she is incredibly bright and hard working, and so bl**dy minded that peer pressure generally sends her in the opposite direction.

The two of them are very opinionated, very sure of themselves, very feminist and left wing, and always ready for an argument, lol!

I have a ten year old dd too, and tbh it seems like there's even less variety possible for the younger ones - e.g. she has very short hair and it seems like 95% of other ten year olds have long hair. I like to think I have encouraged my kids to think for themselves from a fairly young age, and so then it's a natural progression as they get older.

As for Hollister et al - my teenagers get pocket money and buy their own clothes. Problem solved for me, and they are far more inclined to be thrifty with their own money than mine!

[Samlet]

While I wish my DD did not care about Hollister etc. and certainly would not let her dress inappropriately to school, I would not force her to wear business attire in sixth form. A lot of corporate dressing is about women power -dressing like men to fit in to the testosterone fuelled business environment while we know successful businesswomen have started changing the workplace environment a bit. To me, corporate dressing is sheep like as well and dressing should be about expressing your individuality.

DD's school insists on business dress in the sixth form. This follows a few years of allowing them to express their individuality and finding that many girls chose to express it by showing large amounts of leg and cleavage by wearing little strappy cocktail dresses to school!

Wrt Hollister and Abercrombie - have you (not you personally modernista) ever been in those shops? Someone is laughing all the way to the bank. I have posted anecdotes on here before, but for anyone who has never been in my advice is firstly, take a torch, an ear trumpet (it is so loud that if you ask an operative where anything is they won't hear you and you won't hear them) and a very large bank balance, and secondly carry a sign saying 'it's not for me, obviously' as they don't go beyond about a small size 8 and you will feel like a giant even if you are relatively normally-proportioned - the sign may spare you the pitying looks of the staff. Finally, be warned that all the tiny young beauties and shaven, bare-chested men dancing about are not actually there to serve you (that is the one girl on the one till, with the queue of 30 people waiting) but to dance, and fold things.

I have been in once and embarrassed DS so much that he doesn't want me to go back, which was an excellent result! Meanwhile I have found I can satisfy the DC Hollister desire (whilst trying to ignore my own feelings about that brand's morals) by buying second-hand on a certain website.

[countrymum]

I trip up and bang into everything in there it is so dark! You can't even see the clothes properly either. I have to admit I have tried one of their dresses on after about a 4 day wait in the queue

Yes I'm too old but see many 'school mums' wearing the stuff, what's that all about then. Trying to regain our youth?? I understand being a Hollister shop girl/boy means you must be extra cool/attractive/model- esque. Saying that even I can look kind of hot in that darkness

We can only do our best can't we, trust our instincts and hopefully our daughters (and sons) grow up to feel empowered and true to themselves.

Edit- to confirm I did NOT buy the dress

[ginx]

We're going to London on Sunday for dd1's 14th birthday, where is a Hollister shop? Or should we avoid it like the plague? I don't want to encourage dd2.

Sounds like an experience. We tend to go to Primark ... oh dear, I know that's not a good place to go, either.

Dd1 does a paper round and earns £15 a week. I expect that wouldn't go far with Hollister ... you can buy an outfit or two in Primark!

Dd2 is 11 and has short hair. She doesn't know any other girls with short hair (it's a chin-length bob). She does not want to be a Barbie.

I love hearing about everyone's girls! Nobody's mentioned boys - and clothes?

[Jiff]

I've got three teenage boys and seem to have got off very lightly judging from the above! T-shirts and hoodies from H&M, skinny jeans from Boden or Gap, and the most expensive thing is their Converse trainers.

[copella]

ginx. avoid Hollister like the plague. it is not an experience you want. It is soo over priced it is unbelievable, they are laughing all the way to the bank. I feel like a pensioner in there, it is too dark, I have fallen over to the amusement of the good looking but robotic shop assistants who work there, the noise is dreadful and you lose your kids until they drag you to the check out where you cant believe how much they are charging for a couple of t-shirts and by then it is too late as your children feel you are showing them up when you collapse at the price. Go anywhere but there, it is not pleasant in any shape or form.

[silverysea]

There's a Hollister shop in Brent cross. It seems to have no sign outside but I think is near the John Lewis end. I agree the whole point is to put off middle aged people. Who do things like point out the poor value for money and silliness.

I tried to get dd to consider the ethical side, after all she's made my life a misery refusing to eat any animal product for three years now- I'd love an anti- website if anyone knows one.

She wouldn't spend her own money on any more of those, last shopping trips have been Tesco etc with mum and only because she's outgrown everything. She's stopped trying at all.