11 Plus Exams Forum

Has anyone read Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother? Its made me reconsider some of my traits as a parent. Although there is a lot I don't agree with Amy Chua, (she is very harsh at times and pushy) I would've liked a tiger mother when I was growing up.

I wasn't pushed at all as a child. My parents both worked full time during my primary and secondary years. They didn't have a clue to what I was doing in terms of coursework and exams. I took responsibility and organised my own schedule and revision plans for GCSE and A'levels.

I will never push my children into certain careers but I do want them to do well academically and to achieve their full potential, we all know when we have tried our utmost. Its a horrible feeling to have regret and to know you could have done better.

There is a fine line between pushy overbearing parents and parents who motivate and encourage their child to do better. I hope I get the balance right.

I actually enjoyed that book as did my Dd1 then age 11-we know lots of parents with different approaches and we sometimes say "tiger mom over there", And discuss the controversies and stereotyping of ethnic groups, which we reject-tiger moms and dads are common in all groups, and classes. We laugh more at the new age types who let their kids be themselves, without regard for the fact that they are utterly horrid to be around! I found other books in the "genre" from the POV of other parents and students in response to the book-shall I look for the titles? Plus like Amy we do Suzuki music so ample opportunity to parent-watch there! A mixture of approaches, but it is supposed to be based on love- I think Amy Chua lost sight of that sometimes. As many of us do.

I don't have the energy to tiger, but I do insist on some efforts and home tuition in weak areas, which never occurred to my parents. Hence my lifelong label of "can't do maths" because I got Bs instead of As like other topics. So did my DDs until I took them to Kumon, Explore Learning, private tuition and DIY by me and DH. 11+ prep was a great boost, also better teaching and attitude at school. Now their maths skill and enjoyment is on par with their more early interest in literacy. Even I like doing sums with them! Tiger by my parents standards, woos by Daogroupie standards!

Previous thread about this
http://www.elevenplusexams.co.uk/forum/ ... ilit=tiger" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Thanks for your post scary mum, I find it fascinating how others bring up their children.
Thanks for the link to the previous thread on Tiger Mothers!

My DC's consider me to be slightly pushy. The recent programme, Child Genius, made them realise I wasn't.

I know I would never be a successful Tiger Mum. My attempt to get DC's to tidy their rooms today ( which is taking all day) shows me how inefficient I would be.

The Tiger Mum programmes always make me feel inadequate as a parent, when I see little Suki achieving grade 8 harmonica at the age of 10, nuclear physics o-level at the age of 11, and a world record in butterfly swimming at the age of 13, as well as being head girl and the most popular person in school.

pheasantchick wrote:The Tiger Mum programmes always make me feel inadequate as a parent, when I see little Suki achieving grade 8 harmonica at the age of 10, nuclear physics o-level at the age of 11, and a world record in butterfly swimming at the age of 13, as well as being head girl and the most popular person in school.

Mybe I'm mad but I get really happy when I see children overachieving and it inspires me to work harder with my children. Whether it with their manners, academics, or extra curricular activities.

Having said that I know what my children are capable of, and we push them but I think we know when to stop and when they have tried their utmost. Its a horrible feeling to have regret and know that you could have done better.

My sister thinks I'm crazy and she finds it really depressing hearing about overachieving kids! She says she doesn't want to know!

It's a personal choice. Some parents focus on what their dc's look like. Fake tan and curled hair for five year olds! Some parents focus on what they can do. Some focus on Sport, some on Drama, some on Music and some on Academic. I am always fascinated by all the different weekend worlds dc's have. Ask a group of them on Monday morning what they did at the weekend and you will be amazed by the range. I asked three Y5's once. One claimed she had done Bond books in her bedroom, one had played football in the park and one had sat inside playing on his ds. Ironically the dc doing Bond books mucked around all day at school so her parents would have done better to have got her to focus in class and let her play at the weekend! My dd's have opportunities that I did not. I have given them the chances but it will be up to them to continue them. DG

Well I do roar a lot

doodles wrote:Well I do roar a lot

hee hee