11+ Forum

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talea51
Posts: 522
Joined: Sun Feb 06, 2011 5:10 pm

Re: 11+ Forum

Post by talea51 »

RedVelvet wrote:I like the range of views. Also some of us are stuck with a system we don't necessarily believe in.
Yes, exactly! I like the fact that I can ask for advice on what car to purchase and that I can find out I am not the only one who hasn't finished their christmas shopping yet and in addition to that I can complain about this imperfect system in which I find myself and get advice on how best to navigate that system so that I can do the best I can for my children.

I love the fact that although we don't always agree, on the whole people disagree in a polite and courteous manner! I also like the fact that I can talk about my daughter and her ability without being made to feel like I am a pushy, supercompetitive mother.

I don't believe that the current system is beneficial to all children but it's the system we have and the one in which I have to work so we do the best we can.
kenyancowgirl
Posts: 6738
Joined: Mon Oct 21, 2013 8:59 pm

Re: 11+ Forum

Post by kenyancowgirl »

Amber wrote:
Fatnorville wrote:Can I ask what has prompted this question?
Me perhaps? :D
You may get your wish sbarnes. :wink:
No - Amber - don't do it..... The gs system is imperfect, certainly, and there are people who want to use EPE to bray or want their children to have all the advantages to the detriment of others. There are also people not able to express themselves as well, or necessarily understand the nuances of things that are written tongue in cheek, with humour, with irony, with sarcasm... (I fall foul of this occasionally!!) The danger of the written word! I also imagine that there are some people who write quite forcefully on here, who perhaps wouldn't be quite as strong mined in real life - that is one of the beauties (and downfalls) of a forum!

But fundamentally, many on EPE have a genuine interest in education, not just for their children - I've worked in education all my professional life - a long time before I had kids and, hopefully a long time after they have left the education system! I do this because I care. I care that everyone has access to education - and the best possible education available, be they primary children or adults. And if I see something that could be improved, I'll stick my head above the parapet - as do you.

In an unfair system, it is about finding the best fit for your own children - the best fit for me is the gs - not just because they are bright, but for the other needs I perceive my sons to have - a small environment where they feel safer/more comfortable due to their own special needs, a school where sport is applauded but not the be all and end all etc, etc. If this had been available at the local state school then this is where they would go. If we had been in an area where no GS existed, I certainly wouldn't have uprooted the family or required my kids to make ridiculous journeys to get to one, but I would have worked hard to access the best fit school available.

Do I agree with selective education? No, not really. I would rather education be provided innovatively, using proper differentiation, and be inclusive to all. Do I want to keep being reminded that some children are not "lucky" enough to attend an outstanding school, as my boys will be? Yes, because otherwise I am in danger of becoming elitist and anti the education system I have worked in and with and for, all my life. Will I continue to support my boys in the "lucky" enhanced environment they find themselves in? Of course, because as a parent you do your best for your children, wherever they are.

This forum is much more than just a space for people who want to gain a GS place for their kids. It's an information source on lots of varied things, a place where the "alternative" opinion can be introduced and debated and minds can be changed - and it needs to be, otherwise it would be in danger of deteriorating into just another form of competitiveness - and there is enough of that around the 11+ as it is.
neveragain*
Posts: 580
Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2011 11:05 am

Re: 11+ Forum

Post by neveragain* »

Agree with most of what has been said already, but to add, I can remember the dark day of the awaiting eleven plus results well, some years ago, and the enormous and generous support I received from this forum. It is why I'm still here, and why I pm so many newbies when they are in the same boat.

And yes doodles, it has also given me advice on cracked teeth and where to buy a lego set!

:D
ginx
Posts: 2151
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:47 pm
Location: Warwickshire

Re: 11+ Forum

Post by ginx »

I love this forum for many reasons. It was very useful for the 11+ when we went through that, I especially appreciated the support personally (from my virtual friends).

I have had advice and support about so many subjects - post 11+, how to cope with many problems, bullying, special needs, how to educate children, what school is best. Members are (mostly!) very helpful, and if they disagree, they are polite about it. And the rehab has been useful, and great fun. Where else would I get advice on where to buy a tool chest?

I find it a very strange question to ask, especially from someone who already posts comments on here. Nobody is forced to use this forum. I don't understand (but then I'm not the brightest spark in the world, just wanted to post my opinion), and certainly no offence meant. I'm just curious.
sbarnes
Posts: 583
Joined: Thu Mar 14, 2013 7:30 pm

Re: 11+ Forum

Post by sbarnes »

it was a question borne a little out of frustration. I found this site many years and am eternally grateful for the advice and guidance given by past and present forum members.

Frustration? In my simple world, eleven plus exams by its very nature implies selection process, which leads onto exam tips and techniques, bottom line, how our kids can get through the eleven plus and ultimately get selected into grammar/indie schools that have entrance exams as their selection criteria. I also accept totally that this forum is invaluable for advice on matters other than eleven plus topics.

There is a steady creep of posters mentioning the unfairness of the grammar system etc. This is everyone's right but it has started to get a bit more vocal.

Again, it was the sheer frustration of this as I am 100% behind the selection process. That is why I subscribe to this forum, apologies if I may have misunderstood the title of this website. Hope that explains it, not pointed at anyone in particular, just an observation on my part.
scary mum
Posts: 8840
Joined: Mon Mar 15, 2010 3:45 pm

Re: 11+ Forum

Post by scary mum »

I would just like to add my voice. I joined EPE a few years ago when I was trying to negoitiate my way around a system that I did not really agree with, but was stuck with as we live in Buckinghamshire, and, like every parent, I wanted what was best for my children (our MP so enjoys receiving my occasional letters containing my views on the Buckinghamshire system - apparently it's not his problem). I wish everyone had the same opportunities as my children, and I feel grateful when people remind me that actually there are very few parents who don't want the best for their children, they just don't always know how to go about it, or feel swamped by the system, and I hope that EPE helps support some of these people, even if they don't post. It is easy to fall in with sensationalist headlines deriding feckless parents, but the vast majority really do want the best for their families.

I am extremely grateful to the on line support I have received at times, but I am particularly grateful for the enormous off line support I have received in times of woe - some face to face and others by email and messages on here from various people, who are all busy with their own lives and the challenges they encounter as well. You know who you are and all of you have made my life better for it - times have been tough this year and sometimes it is easier to share with "strangers" and receive more impartial advice than it is to discuss it with friends and family. A big thank you to those people - I have even made a real life friend.

So, thank you to those who have supported and helped, and thank you to those who may have challenged my views a little and made me think about the education system here in England, as well as other things. I know I don't always get it right - none of us does.

I will be hanging around EPE for a long time to come I suspect.

Happy Christmas to everyone.
Last edited by scary mum on Thu Dec 19, 2013 12:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.
scary mum
ginx
Posts: 2151
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:47 pm
Location: Warwickshire

Re: 11+ Forum

Post by ginx »

I haven't used the forum to think about the education system in the country, really. My posts are more selfish about my children and their welfare. But I do try to support others and advise on those few occasions where I can, and it is interesting to hear about other schools.

I can see quite a few intellectual debates going on now - I don't join in, I don't know enough - but I imagine they are quite interesting so long as everyone is polite.

I stick to rehab. for my sanity and fun. :D
mystery
Posts: 8927
Joined: Tue Jul 21, 2009 10:56 pm

Re: 11+ Forum

Post by mystery »

I can see where you are coming from Sbarnes. I don't feel the frustration about that particular issue as I feel that no particular school system is perfect ( not even the Finnish model ) so there is always going to be debates about two tier versus tripartite versus comprehensive systems, mixed ability teaching versus grouping, setting, streaming, published data versus no information, inspections versus high trust, etc etc.

Sometimes it is because it is written communciation, but from time to time one can feel that some people's posts at time extend beyond expressing their views through to telling you what you really should do or not do, think or not think and that they are right and have the qualifications, knowledge, experience whatever so you should trust and follow them and that they have the moral high ground. This can be as uncomfortable for someone who feels themselves to be the (probably unintended) recipient as something which more blatantly breaks forum rules, or is intended to be a bit outrageous in a funny way.


But on the whole it serves what I presume is its purpose - to enable a group of people who would never otherwise meet help their children through a possibility selective school journey which may or may not be entirely of their own choosing.
sbarnes
Posts: 583
Joined: Thu Mar 14, 2013 7:30 pm

Re: 11+ Forum

Post by sbarnes »

Thanks for comments

horses for courses... :)
Peridot
Posts: 2195
Joined: Thu May 16, 2013 5:02 pm

Re: 11+ Forum

Post by Peridot »

Brilliant post kenyancowgirl (still haven't worked out how to quote, sorry). Wish I had written it! As someone who works in education, with children in schools that I feel are the best fit for them, you have expressed my own thoughts succinctly. P
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