Summer born children

[ToadMum]

All our DC attended full-day care (a brilliant day nursery next to the hospital where DH was based) from the age of a few months and on my day off we had a regular teatime meet-up with one or more friends with similar aged children, so no problems there with socialisation for any of them. At the time, I commented that June-born DS1 was conversing in paragraphs rather than the 'starting to form sentences' that our 'red book' stated we should check for at that age. The other two developed social and language skills in line with their older brother.

All three started in Reception just before their 5th birthday (the school policy changed to single entry not long after DS1 joined, but the other two are autumn term born anyway); the nursery staff commented that DS1 was more than ready to move on. Children are all individuals.

Where would one draw the line, by the way? Would the parents of, say, April / May born children have the right to keep them down a year once the previous academic year's July and August (June?) born all joined their year instead?

[browneyedgirl]

I agree Toadmum where do you draw a line because practically there has to be a line somewhere. However, would it really make so much difference for parents to have a choice of when their child starts school.
My own take on it (a DD with a birthday mid August and observing her friends) is that I think there are also more factors at play - genetics and position in family (older children to learn from)
Whilst their intelligence is what it is their early experience in school can have a big effect on their confidence going forward.
Imagine you are 4 in August and start school in September and your friend is 5 in September (11 months 2 weeks older) the 5 year old has obviously had practice at doing things you are just learning. That isn't anyone's fault that's just how it is but it has got to effect your self esteem. If you're 4 you don't understand its because they have been alive 11 months longer than you -you just think they are cleverer)
I think this early confidence you get or don't get makes a difference and yes as the years go by the effect lessens but that's just because the 4 year old has to learn to adjust in a way the 5 year old never has to. It seems to be widely acknowledged that your age matters hence standardizing exams for your month of birth to compare like with like. (If I understand that correctly we don't have it here) so having acknowledged age is a factor why not give parents the option to delay a year and actually be 5 when you start school.

[Stressed?Moi?]

We would have kept our ds back for a year in a heartbeat. He is 30 August birthday so has the youngest kid thing in spades, but doesn't have the maturity to deal with it. He's starting grammar in September so intelligence isn't an issue, but his understanding of others and of the outside world is about years in arrears. Things that he finds funny, his friends don't always (one of whom has a 3 September birthday so practically a year older than him) and games he wants to play can sometimes be a bit babyish to others. I have felt so sorry for him over the years as it's made him very low when the other kids laugh at him. I'm 26 August birthday and struggled like mad at school also so I know what it's like.

[southbucks3]

As a summer born child I (in the 70's) did not start school until the Sept after I was 5, however the autumn and spring birthdays had started the previous year. I had 1 year in reception and then had to skip middle infants (now year 1) in order to rejoin my correct year group in top infants. As a fairly bright child I managed to catch up but many of my summer born friends spent the next 5 years of primary school in remedial classes (remember them!) trying to catch up and sadly most never did. This system was worse than now as the younger children like myself had to contend with a years less education as well as being the youngest.

I did that too! Thankfully as my mum taught me far more at home than my friends learnt at school. I could knit, cook, read and garden by the time I started school, my best friend was very jealous, but we all mashed together again quickly in the middle school, no casualties as I recall, many of the summer kids went to the nursery school instead for a year, which my mum was very sniffy about for some reason?

I would never have started my youngest, a summer baby, full time at four, we had thankfully the option either way when he started, but he wasn't ready, he still napped after lunch bless him! He started full days in the term he turned five, like his bruvs.
In fact our reception teacher has a corner for kiddies to have a nap if need be, she says they sometimes fall asleep in their books so she just pops them in the quiet area on cushions.

[Dollydripmat]

My eldest turned 4 at the end of august, a few days later she started full time in reception, it was a tough year . Looking back I do wish I had been more informed to negotiate part time at least until Christmas . Dollyxxxx

[Lillie]

My summer born younger DC also started school at barely four years old - part time though for the first term.

However, she only had one year at nursery before she had to start at school - if she was born a few weeks later she could have had another full year in the nursery.

She is now going to GS in September so it hasn't held her back academically, but I do feel it is harsh on such tiny children to be starting school so young. And although my DC was fine, some clearly find it a struggle.

I am now also slightly concerned about children barely 11 years old going to a school environment with 18 year olds - that also seems like a huge leap. I rather like the American idea of a junior high where the leap doesn't seem as great.

[KB]

I see your point but there are advantages to the younger pupils in having the 6th formers involved in school life. As far as a bad influence goes I'd say the 14/15 years olds are worst - hormones seem to kick in before common sense

[Yamin151]

We would have kept our ds back for a year in a heartbeat. He is 30 August birthday so has the youngest kid thing in spades, but doesn't have the maturity to deal with it. He's starting grammar in September so intelligence isn't an issue, but his understanding of others and of the outside world is about years in arrears. Things that he finds funny, his friends don't always (one of whom has a 3 September birthday so practically a year older than him) and games he wants to play can sometimes be a bit babyish to others. I have felt so sorry for him over the years as it's made him very low when the other kids laugh at him. I'm 26 August birthday and struggled like mad at school also so I know what it's like.

Whereas my late August born twins fight being the youngest in every way they can and hate being seen as the youngest. This is probably because they are also very small, which is not a problem as far as we're concerned but the world will insist on thinking its ok to exclaim and say "you're never eleven, but you're tiny!". When I hear that it makes me want to exclaim, "but you're never only eleven, you're so fat!!", but I am far too well brought up.

[Yamin151]

My eldest turned 4 at the end of august, a few days later she started full time in reception, it was a tough year . Looking back I do wish I had been more informed to negotiate part time at least until Christmas . Dollyxxxx

Completely agree with you DDM

[southbucks3]

We would have kept our ds back for a year in a heartbeat. He is 30 August birthday so has the youngest kid thing in spades, but doesn't have the maturity to deal with it. He's starting grammar in September so intelligence isn't an issue, but his understanding of others and of the outside world is about years in arrears. Things that he finds funny, his friends don't always (one of whom has a 3 September birthday so practically a year older than him) and games he wants to play can sometimes be a bit babyish to others. I have felt so sorry for him over the years as it's made him very low when the other kids laugh at him. I'm 26 August birthday and struggled like mad at school also so I know what it's like.

Whereas my late August born twins fight being the youngest in every way they can and hate being seen as the youngest. This is probably because they are also very small, which is not a problem as far as we're concerned but the world will insist on thinking its ok to exclaim and say "you're never eleven, but you're tiny!". When I hear that it makes me want to exclaim, "but you're never only eleven, you're so fat!!", but I am far too well brought up.

Oh to walk in another man's shoes, youngest summer born is the tallest in class, skin and bone but very "hench" across the shoulders, it's ok now but when he was very young the expectations of strangers were astonishing. Now my eldest has to carry id with him everywhere to get in half price even though he is 14. On the bright side I guess I will be able to send him out to get 'more wine for the guests' soon!