11 Plus Exams Forum

Summer never arrived and any hopes of an Indian summer are subsiding fast.

Many children go back to school this week and others the following week.My youngest doesn't want to go her new Secondary school and would rather go back to her old school.Its hard to move on after almost 9 years of happiness.Nerves are jangling with new uniforms which have plenty of room to grow and the trips to get all those little bits of stationary. We've allowed her a lot of use of her new phone and all its applications to maintain contact with her old friends and have begun early starts and early to bed routines to get her used to getting out of bed for 6 30 to be at the bus stop for 7 15 pick up for the school bus ride.Feels harsh but will need to control her mobile phone use in the evenings until after her homework once she begins school.

Good luck to everyone for the new school year and for the new schools for those who begin new chapters.

Quasimodo and all others too starting new schools I wish your DC's a happy and productive time ahead. I wish them many happy friendships, lots of laughter and that they feel safe, secure, valued and listened to, wherever they are going
The transistor is a hard time. Starting her second new school in four days my DD is saying she is looking forward to it, is excited and has finally stopped saying that she wishes she was still at her primary school. After such a bad year last year I am releived but also cautious. Last year I knew that transition would be hard but I was not prepared. I had assumed that my confident and happy Dd would be fine. My older Dd who was completely disaffected by school was fine in her transition just totally turned off work
I remember a teacher saying to me that it is often the ones you least expect to struggle that do. little did I know that would be my child.
We have had a couple of old class meet ups over the past year and all the state school children were really suffering with the transition strangely the children who had gone on to independent schools seemed to be settled and fine. I wonder if they do something different to aid transition?

My dd was one of 23 children in a class which made up the whole year group in a school of some 200 children.This was a small independent school where everyone knew each other and the school was a small family.Most of the children had grown up with each other since pre nursery and their parents have become our friends.Through my eldest dd (there is a gap of almost 10 years between our two dd's) we have been linked to the school for 20 years and almost 30 through other children in the family.My elder brothers grandson maybe starting their next year although my wife's younger brothers three young children still go there.

My dd enjoyed spending a lot of time with the boys playing football amongst other games with them.Whilst she had friends who were girls she wasn't much for the normal girls activities.For a start she hates the colour pink and can think of nothing worse than playing make up games.She is now going to a all girls state school(all the good schools to which we had reasonable transport links were single sex).She has had 2 days of induction and she coped well with that and made some friends.She will be in a class of 29 in a year group of 145 in a ever expanding school over the next few years.I was happy she will be able to look after herself as she told me of an incident when some new asian girls were picking on a english girl for her hair style and clothing and being derogatary about her background and she defended her by telling them that they were all equal.As things turned out they are both in the same class and they have formed a friendship.

I don't know how my dd will cope with just girls as she despairs at some of the behaviours of some girls and by the time the school completes its expanding numbers it will reach a thousand pupils.If she had gone to the independent school her elder sister went to then she would have been in class of 26 in a year group of 78(the figures haven't changed much over the years).Her older sister was not happy at the school for 5 years until she went to a mixed sixth form in a boys school.There she flourished as she had as a child in the neighbouring preparatory school and academically it made no difference as high results are achieved by most in both secondary schools.

My real concern is that my youngest dd fits in and makes some friendships in her large school and that she will be happy.We chose the school because we felt she would be happy there.The increases in the school numbers for her year group came as a surprise but wouldn't have altered our views on the school but maintaining and increasing academic standards with reduced staff numbers and more pupils will be difficult for the school.

The rain we have had over the summer has reduced the feel good factor good weather brings.I hope the rain isn't a predictor of things to come.On the positive side at least this summer we haven't had to worry about exam preparation or exam results.Hopefully the new school can be taken in my dd's stride unlike the independent schools,state schools lack the reduced numbers and the greater financial resources.

Despite the loathing the Daily Mail gets they do have a lot of good articles.This one is for all the children and parents starting new secondary schools.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/artic ... -mums.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

We are in the same boat. I can't believe that youngest DS is about to start secondary school. Although he passed for a GS, its a different GS to his siblings and he always finds change daunting.i'm hoping I'm just being over anxious!

quasimodo wrote:Despite the loathing the Daily Mail gets they do have a lot of good articles.This one is for all the children and parents starting new secondary schools.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/artic ... -mums.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Yes it is a good article. Last year My Dd tried hanging out with the popular girls for a bit but soon found that they were mean and shallow. She soon became a geeky weirdo lurker - which she is definitely not. Just likes knowledge and enjoyed maths club Going to maths club is a definite friend killer I hope at her new school that she can go to maths club and have friends

quasimodo wrote:
I don't know how my dd will cope with just girls as she despairs at some of the behaviours of some girls and by the time the school completes its expanding numbers it will reach a thousand pupils.

My real concern is that my youngest dd fits in and makes some friendships in her large school and that she will be happy.

.

1000 pupils is actually comparatively small in some cases schools have 3000 pupils My older Dd seems to think that it is predominantly the mix of boys and girls at school that causes the nastiness, apparently children are bullied if they ask someone else's boyfriend for a rubber or even look at them. My younger Dd says that having the boys in the mix was what caused all the disruption in class

The bit about not having a uniform that is too big etc is so true for making friends. last year Dd had some rather geeky shoes (not the same ones that everyone else had), because she has sensitive feet and can't walk in the pointed toe ones (her choice). This year we had to go to the London and trawl the shops to get her a pair of acceptable shoes that are good for her feet and comfortable (not making that mistake again.) Oh and Lunches. I have decided to go with the flow at least for the first term. Last year I insisted on packed because there was NO healthy food in the school canteen. This year I will grit my teeth if she feels she has to eat in the canteen, at least for the first term while friendships are being made (she will pick the best she can, or I will smile and continue to make packed lunches if that is what is right for her.)

I wish your Dd the very best.

DD2 starting secondary on Thursday.At the moment seems totally unfazed and just very excited - keeps trying on uniform! Unlike DD1 who is going into year 10 and not totally looking forward to it as her group will be mixed up again for GCSE courses. She has a close friendship group that seems to be working so this is quite daunting.
Interesting comment about the boys being the cause of a lot of the problems. I went to a Girls' Grammar and didn't like being in a single sex school . Always said wouldn't send my girls there as girls can be really catty,too many hormones in one place and no boys to balance things. However, my kids are stubborn and decided to try for there anyway and got in. DD1 loves it. She said there is a bit of cattiness but no bullying at all and even the different groups, populars,emos, etc tolerate each other.So what do I know?!
As far as dinners go she started using the canteen, then only used it when first sitting as hated waiting for lunch, now packed lunch everyday so she can just stay in the classroom with her friends!

Eccentric wrote:

quasimodo wrote:Despite the loathing the Daily Mail gets they do have a lot of good articles.This one is for all the children and parents starting new secondary schools.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/artic ... -mums.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Yes it is a good article. Last year My Dd tried hanging out with the popular girls for a bit but soon found that they were mean and shallow. She soon became a geeky weirdo lurker - which she is definitely not. Just likes knowledge and enjoyed maths club Going to maths club is a definite friend killer I hope at her new school that she can go to maths club and have friends

Let's be realistic here, anyone who prefers doing extra maths at lunchtime, rather than hanging about talking nonsense with peers will be restricted to a smaller social group, not a bad thing at all if she is comfortable with that, but fairly obviously not the ticket to popularity.
Plus.....just a thought, maths/handwriting/English clubs at my boy's schools are pseudonyms for "extra help"" often the children are there at the instigation of their teachers.

southbucks3 wrote: Let's be realistic here, anyone who prefers doing extra maths at lunchtime, rather than hanging about talking nonsense with peers will be restricted to a smaller social group, not a bad thing at all if she is comfortable with that, but fairly obviously not the ticket to popularity.
Plus.....just a thought, maths/handwriting/English clubs at my boy's schools are pseudonyms for "extra help"" often the children are there at the instigation of their teachers.

Tip taken Maths Club at Dd's last school was definitely geeks only her and 2 year 9 boys problem solving for fun.