Atrocities, terrorism - how do you broach with your DC?
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Re: Atrocities, terrorism - how do you broach with your DC?
Agree totally Amber and said more eloquently then I could muster.
I've always felt that honesty was the best way. I looked at my eldest Instagram account yesterday morning (before he woke up) and it was awash with Pray for Paris pictures - kids today don't grow up in a little bubble, they are surrounded by information, news etc.
I told my children what had happened - that these were bad people but that the vast majority of people in the world were good. I said I was upset and they saw that I was. Agree with Amber about the Rafio 4 talky programs - as someone who grew up with radio 4 chatting away in the kitchen I hope I can pass that on to my children.
We talk about what is going on in the world and our varying opinions. We recently visited Paris and have talked again about the time we spent there. I do think it's important to talk plainly to children otherwise it's very easy for them to get the wrong end of the stick or over / under estimate the danger.
There is no defence for killing people, it cannot be excused or justified.
Agree with SB3 - our children when at school etc are in environments where shockingly people have tried to radicalise others - they need to understand the situation and be in a position o make appropriate choices for themselves and to offer guidance to those around them.
I've always felt that honesty was the best way. I looked at my eldest Instagram account yesterday morning (before he woke up) and it was awash with Pray for Paris pictures - kids today don't grow up in a little bubble, they are surrounded by information, news etc.
I told my children what had happened - that these were bad people but that the vast majority of people in the world were good. I said I was upset and they saw that I was. Agree with Amber about the Rafio 4 talky programs - as someone who grew up with radio 4 chatting away in the kitchen I hope I can pass that on to my children.
We talk about what is going on in the world and our varying opinions. We recently visited Paris and have talked again about the time we spent there. I do think it's important to talk plainly to children otherwise it's very easy for them to get the wrong end of the stick or over / under estimate the danger.
There is no defence for killing people, it cannot be excused or justified.
Agree with SB3 - our children when at school etc are in environments where shockingly people have tried to radicalise others - they need to understand the situation and be in a position o make appropriate choices for themselves and to offer guidance to those around them.
Re: Atrocities, terrorism - how do you broach with your DC?
Both are necessary in my view (for the DC who enjoy reading I mean! Not all dokenyancowgirl wrote:I'm afraid I prefer the honest, "talking" approach, than encouraging them to read a book.
): talking approach and reading as books help not only to reflect on some topics and some pages of history but also to develop empathy.http://www.theguardian.com/teacher-netw ... en-empathy" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
I remember now the title of a book written by Benjamin Zephaniah: ‘terror kid’. I do not know how good it is as I have never read it; I just know that ‘Refugee boy’ and ‘Face’ are thought provoking books, and I would expect as much from 'Terror Kid'.JaneEyre wrote: I cannot think of any modern story which could tackle the problem of terrorism. Is there any
Here is an interesting article which demonstrates how a school has become a beacon of inter-faith cooperation and friendship.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/educa ... ml#gallery" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
As a French national, I feel important for me to mention the fact that Britain’s case is totally different from the French one as tolerance and respect for other religions and culture are taught here (in Britain) at school since a young age during RS lessons. Unfortunately, such lessons do not exist in France due to the ‘laïcité’ laws, which have been passed at the beginning of the XX century. The practical consequences of the concept of laïcité are, firstly, that there is no such thing as a state religion, and secondly, there is a complete separation of church and state. Moreover, these laws have not only helped to developed a certain ignorance about Christianity (knowledge which helps to understand many pieces of art and literature) but they have also hampered social cohesion as the religions of the immigrants who came to France as a work force in the second half of the XX century are often not known properly about nor much respected. Hence, there is for several decades a deep cleavage in the French society, which can be demonstrated by the rise of the Extreme –Right to the point that this political party reached the 'second turn' during the presidential election of 2002.
Pupils having studied French for A level know about this climate in France as they usually watch the film ‘La haine’ (= The Hatred). England is far different from France as racism is more actively battled against there. I have to add that this film does not represent all social spheres and myself, as a French person, had my stomach in knots while watching it and I hated this film (no pun intended!). But this film cannot been ignored as he reflects some sad realities.
The mirror may not have the reputation to be very highbrow, but I do find this article interesting and poignant:
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news ... er-6834933" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Imho, what is really important is for our DC not to generalise and consider all Muslims as potential terrorists. As this New Yorker says:
"Please give your sympathy towards these people, they are not only victims of discrimination but also hate in times like this.”
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Loopyloulou
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Re: Atrocities, terrorism - how do you broach with your DC?
Twice in my youth, and once in my twenties, IRA bombs exploded nearby.
I was in New York on 11th September 2001.
I am still here, a lucky one, like all of us.
I favour a matter-of-fact approach. This is a part of modern life, and I can only see it becoming more common for the next generation.
I was in New York on 11th September 2001.
I am still here, a lucky one, like all of us.
I favour a matter-of-fact approach. This is a part of modern life, and I can only see it becoming more common for the next generation.
Loopy
Re: Atrocities, terrorism - how do you broach with your DC?
HELPING CHILDREN COPE IN UNSETTLING TIMES
(including war and terrorism)
ADVICE FOR SCHOOLS
Adults need to help children feel safe at a time when the world seems to be a more dangerous place. Teachers and parents can help children to understand current events and how to handle their emotional reactions.
The degree to which children are affected will depend on personal circumstances. Children who are most vulnerable include those who have:
• Suffered a personal loss.
• Had firsthand experience of war or terrorist acts.
• Parents in the military and on active service.
• Parents who have fought in past conflicts.
The school’s role in helping anxious and troubled pupils is to provide emotional and academic support within a caring, reliable and predictable environment.
Emotional Responses
Although these will vary in nature and severity from child to child, the following are typical reactions:
• Fear – is likely to be the predominate reaction, for themselves and their family, particularly if parents are in the military.
• Loss of control – military actions are something over which children, and most adults, have no control. Lack of control can be overwhelming and confusing. Children may grasp at any control that they have including refusing to cooperate, go to school, part with favourite toys or leave their parents.
• Anger – is a common reaction often directed at those closest to them including parents and friends. Some children may show anger towards parents who are in the military – duty and patriotism are abstract concepts, especially for younger children who are experiencing the concrete reality of separation from a loved one.
• Loss of stability – war on military deployment disrupts routines and is unsettling. Children can feel insecure when their usual schedules and activities are disrupted increasing their level of stress and need for reassurance.
• Isolation – children who have a parent in the military who do not live near a military base and children who have accompanied a remaining parent back home may feel isolated. The latter will also have experienced the loss of familiar faces and surroundings.
• Confusion – about terrorists attacks or war, further dangers and when the violence will stop. Some children may also have difficulty understanding the difference between violence as entertainment and the real events taking place on the news. Separating the realities of war from film and TV fantasy may require adult help.
What can teachers do to help?
For most children, adults can provide adequate support through the following actions:
• Remain calm and reassuring – children will take their cues from the key adults in their lives.
• Acknowledge and normalise their feelings – allow children to discuss their feelings and concerns and encourage any questions they may have about events. Listen and empathise. Let them know that others are feeling the same way and that their reactions are normal and expected.
• Maintain normal routines and expectations – these help to provide a sense of stability and security. Some immature, aggressive, oppositional behaviours are normal reactions to stress and uncertainty. It is important to maintain consistent expectations for behaviour, children need to know that the same rules still apply.
• Emphasise people’s resilience – focus on children’s competencies in terms of their daily life and at other difficult times. Help them identify what they have done in the past that helped them cope when they were frightened, worried or upset.
• Be a good listener and observer – let children guide you as to how concerned they are or how much information they need. If they are not anxious or focused on current events, do not dwell on them, but be available to answer questions to the best of your ability and in age-appropriate terms. Young children, however, may not be able to express themselves verbally so pay attention to changes in their behaviour, play or social interactions.
• Stop bullying or harassment immediately – remind children not to pass judgment on groups of people or other people’s ideas just because they seem different. Finding ways to address the intolerance that leads to conflict and aggression can be one way to help children regain a sense of control over events.
• Encourage children to talk to you or another caring adult – emphasise that you are there to help and that they should let an adult know if they or a friend feels overwhelmed for any reason.
• Do something positive to help others in need – making a positive contribution to the community or others more closely affected by events can help people feel more in control.
• Communicate with school/home – teachers and parents should share any concerns they may have about a child, especially if a family member is on active duty.
• Take care of your own needs – talk to colleagues, friends and family, take time to deal with your own feelings, everyone feels stressed at times of crisis and uncertainty.
Potential reactions to trauma
Most children and young people will be able to cope with their concerns over current events with the help of teachers, parents and other caring adults. However, some may be at risk of more extreme reactions because of personal circumstances. Adults should consider seeking professional advice if children exhibit significant changes in behaviour or any of the following reactions over an extended period of time:
• Pre-schoolers – thumb sucking, bed wetting, clinging to parents, sleep disturbances, loss of appetite, fear of the dark, regression in behaviour, withdrawal from friends and routines.
• School children – irritability, aggressiveness, clinginess, nightmares, school avoidance, poor concentration, withdrawal from activities and friends.
• Adolescents – sleeping and eating disturbances, agitation, increase in conflicts, physical complaints, delinquent behaviour and poor concentration.
And finally, the natural support systems of family, school and community are the most important factors in maintaining a child’s sense of normality at times or anxiety and stress.
(This advice has been adapted from information on the National Association of School Psychologists website – http://www.nasponline.org" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;)
Further advice and information on dealing with bereavement and loss in schools can be found in the Somerset Educational Psychology Service booklet:
“Critical Incidents in Schools – Advice and information for school staff”
Somerset Educational Psychology Service
September 2010
(including war and terrorism)
ADVICE FOR SCHOOLS
Adults need to help children feel safe at a time when the world seems to be a more dangerous place. Teachers and parents can help children to understand current events and how to handle their emotional reactions.
The degree to which children are affected will depend on personal circumstances. Children who are most vulnerable include those who have:
• Suffered a personal loss.
• Had firsthand experience of war or terrorist acts.
• Parents in the military and on active service.
• Parents who have fought in past conflicts.
The school’s role in helping anxious and troubled pupils is to provide emotional and academic support within a caring, reliable and predictable environment.
Emotional Responses
Although these will vary in nature and severity from child to child, the following are typical reactions:
• Fear – is likely to be the predominate reaction, for themselves and their family, particularly if parents are in the military.
• Loss of control – military actions are something over which children, and most adults, have no control. Lack of control can be overwhelming and confusing. Children may grasp at any control that they have including refusing to cooperate, go to school, part with favourite toys or leave their parents.
• Anger – is a common reaction often directed at those closest to them including parents and friends. Some children may show anger towards parents who are in the military – duty and patriotism are abstract concepts, especially for younger children who are experiencing the concrete reality of separation from a loved one.
• Loss of stability – war on military deployment disrupts routines and is unsettling. Children can feel insecure when their usual schedules and activities are disrupted increasing their level of stress and need for reassurance.
• Isolation – children who have a parent in the military who do not live near a military base and children who have accompanied a remaining parent back home may feel isolated. The latter will also have experienced the loss of familiar faces and surroundings.
• Confusion – about terrorists attacks or war, further dangers and when the violence will stop. Some children may also have difficulty understanding the difference between violence as entertainment and the real events taking place on the news. Separating the realities of war from film and TV fantasy may require adult help.
What can teachers do to help?
For most children, adults can provide adequate support through the following actions:
• Remain calm and reassuring – children will take their cues from the key adults in their lives.
• Acknowledge and normalise their feelings – allow children to discuss their feelings and concerns and encourage any questions they may have about events. Listen and empathise. Let them know that others are feeling the same way and that their reactions are normal and expected.
• Maintain normal routines and expectations – these help to provide a sense of stability and security. Some immature, aggressive, oppositional behaviours are normal reactions to stress and uncertainty. It is important to maintain consistent expectations for behaviour, children need to know that the same rules still apply.
• Emphasise people’s resilience – focus on children’s competencies in terms of their daily life and at other difficult times. Help them identify what they have done in the past that helped them cope when they were frightened, worried or upset.
• Be a good listener and observer – let children guide you as to how concerned they are or how much information they need. If they are not anxious or focused on current events, do not dwell on them, but be available to answer questions to the best of your ability and in age-appropriate terms. Young children, however, may not be able to express themselves verbally so pay attention to changes in their behaviour, play or social interactions.
• Stop bullying or harassment immediately – remind children not to pass judgment on groups of people or other people’s ideas just because they seem different. Finding ways to address the intolerance that leads to conflict and aggression can be one way to help children regain a sense of control over events.
• Encourage children to talk to you or another caring adult – emphasise that you are there to help and that they should let an adult know if they or a friend feels overwhelmed for any reason.
• Do something positive to help others in need – making a positive contribution to the community or others more closely affected by events can help people feel more in control.
• Communicate with school/home – teachers and parents should share any concerns they may have about a child, especially if a family member is on active duty.
• Take care of your own needs – talk to colleagues, friends and family, take time to deal with your own feelings, everyone feels stressed at times of crisis and uncertainty.
Potential reactions to trauma
Most children and young people will be able to cope with their concerns over current events with the help of teachers, parents and other caring adults. However, some may be at risk of more extreme reactions because of personal circumstances. Adults should consider seeking professional advice if children exhibit significant changes in behaviour or any of the following reactions over an extended period of time:
• Pre-schoolers – thumb sucking, bed wetting, clinging to parents, sleep disturbances, loss of appetite, fear of the dark, regression in behaviour, withdrawal from friends and routines.
• School children – irritability, aggressiveness, clinginess, nightmares, school avoidance, poor concentration, withdrawal from activities and friends.
• Adolescents – sleeping and eating disturbances, agitation, increase in conflicts, physical complaints, delinquent behaviour and poor concentration.
And finally, the natural support systems of family, school and community are the most important factors in maintaining a child’s sense of normality at times or anxiety and stress.
(This advice has been adapted from information on the National Association of School Psychologists website – http://www.nasponline.org" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;)
Further advice and information on dealing with bereavement and loss in schools can be found in the Somerset Educational Psychology Service booklet:
“Critical Incidents in Schools – Advice and information for school staff”
Somerset Educational Psychology Service
September 2010
Re: Atrocities, terrorism - how do you broach with your DC?
Hi DC17C, thank you for the information you have posted. 
I am afraid it is too late for me to translate anything. But for those who understand French these two articles might interest them:
How to speak with teenagers:
http://madame.lefigaro.fr/societe/atten ... 115-109641" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
This paragraph is a bit an echo to Amber’s post:
Geneviève Djenati. - Les parents doivent organiser le temps de la réflexion en amenant leurs ados à se questionner. En écoutant la radio par exemple. Contrairement à la télévision, ce média propose un panel d’interlocuteurs plus large et le temps de parole y est plus long. Au-delà de l’info, la radio prend davantage le temps d’explorer la question du vivre ensemble. Après un tel choc émotionnel, la pensée évolue chaque jour, il faut se donner le temps de la réflexion et entretenir le débat au-delà du temps de l’émotion.
How to speak with younger children (and avoid too much TV for them during these difficult times):
http://madame.lefigaro.fr/societe/image ... 115-109630" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
But, sorry to repeat myself, these atrocities have happened in France... not in Britain. The history of both countries is different. I am fully aware that nobody is protected against the madness of ISIS extremists, but the French society is a deeply fractured society.
I am afraid it is too late for me to translate anything. But for those who understand French these two articles might interest them:
How to speak with teenagers:
http://madame.lefigaro.fr/societe/atten ... 115-109641" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
This paragraph is a bit an echo to Amber’s post:
Geneviève Djenati. - Les parents doivent organiser le temps de la réflexion en amenant leurs ados à se questionner. En écoutant la radio par exemple. Contrairement à la télévision, ce média propose un panel d’interlocuteurs plus large et le temps de parole y est plus long. Au-delà de l’info, la radio prend davantage le temps d’explorer la question du vivre ensemble. Après un tel choc émotionnel, la pensée évolue chaque jour, il faut se donner le temps de la réflexion et entretenir le débat au-delà du temps de l’émotion.
How to speak with younger children (and avoid too much TV for them during these difficult times):
http://madame.lefigaro.fr/societe/image ... 115-109630" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
But, sorry to repeat myself, these atrocities have happened in France... not in Britain. The history of both countries is different. I am fully aware that nobody is protected against the madness of ISIS extremists, but the French society is a deeply fractured society.
Re: Atrocities, terrorism - how do you broach with your DC?
Really fascinating posts there - thanks very much. DC17C that is really good advice you have supplied. Also there was an article on the Guardian website yesterday about how to talk to your children about matters such as this.
Jane Eyre I am interested in your assessment of French society and what you say about the way a lack of religious education has resulted in fragmentation and suspicion. I wish you would post that on Mumsnet.com , where the vast majority of posters are aggressively opposed to R.E in schools and really get very nasty about it quite frequently!
Personally I think it's great to study and explore the range of religions and I agree that it promotes tolerance. It also enables you to discuss matters like the one on this thread, which is surely a good thing.
If I have translated that French reasonably well it's advising us to allow children time to reflect, formulate questions and listen to radio debate but avoid the tv, which is too graphic and tends to hyperbolise. (disclaimer - my French is ok but not great!)
Anyway, fascinating discussion folks - thanks.
Jane Eyre I am interested in your assessment of French society and what you say about the way a lack of religious education has resulted in fragmentation and suspicion. I wish you would post that on Mumsnet.com , where the vast majority of posters are aggressively opposed to R.E in schools and really get very nasty about it quite frequently!
Personally I think it's great to study and explore the range of religions and I agree that it promotes tolerance. It also enables you to discuss matters like the one on this thread, which is surely a good thing.
If I have translated that French reasonably well it's advising us to allow children time to reflect, formulate questions and listen to radio debate but avoid the tv, which is too graphic and tends to hyperbolise. (disclaimer - my French is ok but not great!)
Anyway, fascinating discussion folks - thanks.
Re: Atrocities, terrorism - how do you broach with your DC?
From the BBC news website today. How a French/Australian family in Paris are trying to explain it to their children..
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-34843660" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-34843660" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Re: Atrocities, terrorism - how do you broach with your DC?
Thanks for sharing! They are also trying to explain to their childfen that there are far more good intentioned people than murderers.Peridot wrote:From the BBC news website today. How a French/Australian family in Paris are trying to explain it to their children..
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-34843660" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
I have to say, that even as an adult, after the Paris attacks, I have been ‘hébétée’ (=dazed) as my sister put it...
Hi piggyspiggys wrote: Jane Eyre I am interested in your assessment of French society and what you say about the way a lack of religious education has resulted in fragmentation and suspicion. I wish you would post that on Mumsnet.com , where the vast majority of posters are aggressively opposed to R.E in schools and really get very nasty about it quite frequently!
Unfortunatley, I have no time to read regularly mums.net. However, maybe you could help me? May I kindly ask that you sent me a pm with the link to flag me up when some posters criticise RS tuition in the UK? I will then try to do my best to write some food for thought.
During the past week, I have read some interesting articles and listened to some good testimonies. I do not want to clog up this thread with stuff in French so I will create a thread in the A level section is case some French A2 students (or at university) are interested to read more about the aftermaths of the attacks and/or engage some reflection about some facts about French society.
Piggy, do not underestimate your level in French!
Re: Atrocities, terrorism - how do you broach with your DC?
This may sound simplistic but I always share the profound moment from Lord of the Rings between Gandalf and Frodo with my teenagers (Fortunately as we do not have TV my younger children don't know anything of these horrors at all, and I think that's how it should be):
“Frodo: I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened."
Gandalf: So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide.
All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.
There are other forces at work in this world, Frodo, besides the will of evil.”
(NB this is from the screenplay by Phillipa Boyens rather than the original book - but it summarises Tolkien's story perfectly, I think)
So I spoke to my teens and told them that they should not feel hopeless nor despair at the evil which is undoubtedly present in this world. Yes, they alone cannot fight it but through their good actions - a smile here, a helping hand there, a kind word...they can make the world a better place still, and should continue to strive to do so.
Another quote - this time from The Hobbit (screenplay):
"Saruman believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay. Small acts of kindness and love."
(Gandalf)
“Frodo: I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened."
Gandalf: So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide.
All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.
There are other forces at work in this world, Frodo, besides the will of evil.”
(NB this is from the screenplay by Phillipa Boyens rather than the original book - but it summarises Tolkien's story perfectly, I think)
So I spoke to my teens and told them that they should not feel hopeless nor despair at the evil which is undoubtedly present in this world. Yes, they alone cannot fight it but through their good actions - a smile here, a helping hand there, a kind word...they can make the world a better place still, and should continue to strive to do so.
Another quote - this time from The Hobbit (screenplay):
"Saruman believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay. Small acts of kindness and love."
(Gandalf)
Re: Atrocities, terrorism - how do you broach with your DC?
Brilliant, um. Thank you. I do think positivity, and humour of course, is the way forward for all of us otherwise what's the point? I have relatives in Brussels and they have been joining in the tweeting of amusing cat pictures to blur the details of ongoing police operations.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-34897645" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-34897645" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
