Please help - DS in distress over being non-sporty

[MedievalBabe]

My DS goes to a school which has a reputation for Rugby and he is very un-sporty. Initially he thought he might like to try out for the Cricket team but he realised he couldn't commit to the Saturday training/matches as he had his dancing lessons. Instead he is in the 'special' sports group who try lots of other sports instead of focusing on one or two and the PE staff appreciate that he exercises in a different way. His dancing makes him one of the fittest boys in his year group, he does get teased but he has learnt to deal with it and he is also one of the biggest geeks all because he loves to dance and loves computers. He has found his niche within his year group, they have accepted him and he has a group of friends.

Secondary school is made up of boys from such a variety of life that your son will find others exactly like him and the fact he is not keen on sport will not matter.

[mumsdarling2]

Thank you everyone for your very kind and warm replies. I have spoken to DS today and put a plan in place. I have also shared the experiences you have written, with him. With the next steps decided and knowledge that he might yet find like-minded/abled children, he seems to feel a lot better. Thank you.

[PurpleDuck]

Thank you everyone for your very kind and warm replies. I have spoken to DS today and put a plan in place. I have also shared the experiences you have written, with him. With the next steps decided and knowledge that he might yet find like-minded/abled children, he seems to feel a lot better. Thank you.

[doodles]

I'm so pleased that your DS (and you) feels better and you have a plan in place. Hopefully now he will be able to enjoy the last term of primary school and look forward to new adventures in September.

[mystery]

I am glad your son is happier. But the whole state of p e in some secondary schools annoys me intensely. I am finding that unless your child turns up at secondary school already good at a team game commonly played by schools that their fate is sealed. So unless their primary school taught it often and well, or they did it as an extra-curricular thing, they are doomed from day one. And then, there does not seem to be any emphasis on remaining fit, strong, supple for life.

I thought things had improved since the days of secondary p e teachers who were keen on the school team and nothing else ( and possibly did not have the best team either because they didn't bother much with those who were not already pretty well taught by 11) but it does not seem to be the case.

And what is happening in primary schools if kids feel they are left out at playtime because their footy skills are not up to scratch? Horrible situation. The ones who view themselves as "sporty" are certainly not being "sporting".

[KB]

My experience from DCs at two very 'sporty' secondary schools is very different. Much more inclusive than you describe and with alternatives beyond the main team sports offered.

Our experience is that it's less primary school lessons and more the playground culture of football, football and more football that is the issue. Not sure this can be blamed soley on the the schools though given the national obsession.....

[booellesmum]

I have 2 girls and I have to say I love their experience of secondary school sports lessons. Primary was awful. DD1 is very non-sporty - hated PE lessons at primary. Went up to secondary and suddenly didn't mind so much, mainly I think because there were no boys. She still wasn't great at sport but the school recognised her improvement and she got a certificate for sport at the end of year 7. She went through a difficult period in year 8 and lost a lot of weight, she realised that it was much better to keep the weight off by exercising rather than starving herself and now exercises every day in her room. Although she will never be sporty she is now quite fit and is proud of her muscle tone.
DD2 had a very poor report for PE from primary. It made me laugh because it was all about ball skills rather than fitness. The child could do 1000 seat drops on the trampoline and skip with a hula hoop whilst trampolining - I am amazed we have had no broken bones. She volunteered for a cross country race first term at Seniors and came 20th out of 100 runners across all year groups. It is really about finding your niche and that doesn't have to be team sport. I am really pleased that secondary seems so much better at recognising this.

[loobylou]

Our experience too at secondary has been much more positive. Our primary experience was not awful but with only 20-24 in a year group there was very little real opportunity for any competitive sport.
Dd went to secondary school having done almost no team sports in her life but threw herself into the hockey club for the first year. She was even given a spot to play as a substitute in the 2nd (or 3rd?!) team, which I really think was reflecting her commitment rather than her skills. She chose to give up when she realised that her skill set did not lie with hockey but it was not the school who put her off. And she absolutely loves PE (she's very active and sporty but in a dance, climbing, trampolining kind of way). There are 3 sets and she describes them as trying to focus on abilities - so in the top set they are pushed hard, in the middle set they concentrate on different skills and in the lowest set they concentrate on fitness and general activity (this is her perspective and may not be 100% accurate).
Ds is heading to the same school in September. I will be interested to see his perspective as my naturally more "team sport" sporty child.

[doodles]

My experience from DCs at two very 'sporty' secondary schools is very different. Much more inclusive than you describe and with alternatives beyond the main team sports offered....

+1

If you look at the national School Sports Teams website St Olave's runs yr7 rugby teams from A to F (6 teams) - that's a lot of boys.

Few teams are set in stone from year 7, children grow at different rates, lose interest or indeed become passionate about a new activity. In both my DS rugby teams there are children who'd not played before joining the school. Of course in the first few weeks of year 7, for any sport, it is easier and best to split children by who has and hasn't played before. If this didn't happen those that had played would be bored and those that hadn't wouldn't learn the rules and techniques and would be disheartened

The main difference between primary and secondary is the range of different sports on offer/tried. I would encourage a child to give everything a go, you never know climbing or hammer throwing might just be their thing

[Reading Mum]

Another one here where the more to secondary has been very positive in terms of sport. DD's primary did offer a wide range of sports but DD was a bit 'dumpy' and uncoordinated. In the lower years she got recognised for turning up and joining in but that tailed off as they got older. Sporty girls did seem to get a lot of attention and praise.
Early in yr 7 the hockey team asked someone to volunteer as goalkeeper and DD was the only taker. After a year in goal she asked to move onto the field and has really thrived. So much so that she joined a local club at the start of the season and has done hockey as her 6 month physical activity for DofE.
Although I bemoan my loss of Sundays to training and matches I am glad that she has found a form of exercise that she really enjoys.