How to encourage a child to do more homework

sweetpeas · Post by **sweetpeas** » Tue Dec 11, 2007 12:27 am

I don't know what to do now. Should I ask my daughter how SHE feels about it tomorrow? I want to tell her that she should give me an honest answer. If her wish is to do some work sometimes - so be it. If not - then let her play and just be happy. At the end of the day, she is achieving well and, most importantly, the childhood years would never come back again. My own childhood as a bookworm and 'know it all' was probably a bit boring. I want my daughter to be happy.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 11, 2007 8:55 am

I think you've just answered your own question. And please don't ask your daughter - don't put that burden on her. I'm sure she's worked out how important her academic success is to you and if, at any point in the future, she fails to perform less than perfectly she may blame herself for not doing the extra work you tried to persuade her to do.

And as to practising for KS2 Sats - does anyone really do that??!!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 11, 2007 9:31 am

Sweatpeas
I'm sorry if this sounds rude but when I first read your opening post I really wondered whether it was genuine or a wind-up. Perhaps you could try to step back and imagine that it was someone else in that situation asking you for your advice. Without the emotional tangle of it being your own child I think that your answer might be pretty clear.

To recap:
Your 10 or 11 year old child works hard at school and is doing very well. She does her homework and she did 11+ prep with you as necessary. She is bright and interested; she enjoys reading, drawing and playing with her siblings. Now that the 11+ is over she would like the freedom to relax in her spare time and do those things which interest her. This is probably the last year before a longer school day and more homework leave her with very little leisure time during the school week.

Your question: Is it wrong for her to have this free time? Should she be forced instead to do additional maths and English tasks set by you?

Answer: I'm sure that you can guess what I think for one. In case you can't, it's that pushing her to do extra homework is more likely to turn her off academic work and breed resentment than to make her the confident, independent learner which you presumably desire. The amount of homework she gets is pretty normal for a state primary; they don't set more because most teachers recognise that at this age free time to do their own thing can be more important. Trust them and be glad!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 11, 2007 10:45 am

Anonymous wrote:I think you've just answered your own question. And please don't ask your daughter - don't put that burden on her. I'm sure she's worked out how important her academic success is to you and if, at any point in the future, she fails to perform less than perfectly she may blame herself for not doing the extra work you tried to persuade her to do.

And as to practising for KS2 Sats - does anyone really do that??!!!

http://www.elevenplusexams.co.uk/forum/ ... .php?t=201

Bexley Mum 2 · Post by **Bexley Mum 2** » Tue Dec 11, 2007 11:05 am

Sweetpeas - you should look at the 11plus experience site. There is a heartbreaking letter there from Jessica Kate under the heading, "Parents pushing for kids"

sweetpeas · Post by **sweetpeas** » Tue Dec 11, 2007 6:44 pm

Well, thank you for all replies. I guess, it's time to change my attitude. Sometimes you get it wrong while it was meant for the best. I will withraw and wait to be asked for help one day.

essex-mum18 · Post by **essex-mum18** » Tue Dec 11, 2007 10:57 pm

Hi, Sweetpeas

I have just read your post and I will say myself is a pro homework parent. I have a son who just sat the 11+ exam a few weeks ago. He has worked very hard for the exam and I really think that he deserves a good break or at least for the X'mas holiday. He needs the break to recharge the battery.

However, I will have a plan and discussion with him after the holiday that a time table should be set. A bit of homework (10-20min) everyday to get back to the routine and maintain a good habit. I really believe that a good habit for homework at younger age will help them to cope/ prepare better at secondary school when more homework is expected.

I know somtimes can be quite difficult but BALANCE is the key.

me · Post by me » Thu Dec 13, 2007 8:12 am

Is there anything wrong with bribery?

capers123 · Post by **capers123** » Thu Dec 13, 2007 10:56 am

essex-mum18 wrote:A bit of homework (10-20min) everyday

No problems with that whatsoever. My Y5 DD has been doing at least that, set by school, although the actual amount varies from 0 to 30mins.

The latest was completing a Topic on Rivers. We went for a mornings shopping in Hereford, then follow the Wye down to Monmouth stopping here & there to take pics and read information boards, and for a walk & tea at Symonds Yat in the Forest of Dean. A nice day out for all of us, then the following day she added a couple more pages to said project.

Last weekend was interesting. They had to finish the whole Topic, so that meant a few more pages on the Rhine, places along it, and index, bibliography, webliography (never heard that word before being on the teachers instruction list). OK, a few hours work, BUT it was also a concert at Saturday music centre, trip to cinema - Golden Compass - and 10th birthday sleepover. Wakeover would be a better description, as they were still up at 4:00am, despite threats of calling their parents, etc. Then going to Westonbirt Arboretum to pic up Christmas Tree. So we had to help with Topic - but only setting up a table in Word for DD to enter the index into. We couldn't give any advice on index, etc, as we had no idea of what level the school wanted. But at least it was All Her Own Work. Oh, and the Thursday of that week they were doing Young Voices at NIA, Birmingham, and didn't get back to the school until 00:30 (allowed to go in a little late the following day).

So I really don't think we need to give DD any extra work. Of course, should your childs school not be forthcoming with homework, then maybe you do need to invent some. But is it worth, maybe, trying to do extension work, going off at a tangent, as surely basics will have been covered at school. Given that we're here because of the 11+, surely our children are all in the Gifted & Talented range, or pretty close thereto, so they'll have picked up the basics in class. Hey, even playing with Lego Mindstorms is extension work - learning basic programming.

essex-mum18 · Post by **essex-mum18** » Thu Dec 13, 2007 11:21 am

capers123 wrote:
essex-mum18 wrote:A bit of homework (10-20min) everyday
No problems with that whatsoever. My Y5 DD has been doing at least that, set by school, although the actual amount varies from 0 to 30mins.

The latest was completing a Topic on Rivers. We went for a mornings shopping in Hereford, then follow the Wye down to Monmouth stopping here & there to take pics and read information boards, and for a walk & tea at Symonds Yat in the Forest of Dean. A nice day out for all of us, then the following day she added a couple more pages to said project.

Last weekend was interesting. They had to finish the whole Topic, so that meant a few more pages on the Rhine, places along it, and index, bibliography, webliography (never heard that word before being on the teachers instruction list). OK, a few hours work, BUT it was also a concert at Saturday music centre, trip to cinema - Golden Compass - and 10th birthday sleepover. Wakeover would be a better description, as they were still up at 4:00am, despite threats of calling their parents, etc. Then going to Westonbirt Arboretum to pic up Christmas Tree. So we had to help with Topic - but only setting up a table in Word for DD to enter the index into. We couldn't give any advice on index, etc, as we had no idea of what level the school wanted. But at least it was All Her Own Work. Oh, and the Thursday of that week they were doing Young Voices at NIA, Birmingham, and didn't get back to the school until 00:30 (allowed to go in a little late the following day).

So I really don't think we need to give DD any extra work. Of course, should your childs school not be forthcoming with homework, then maybe you do need to invent some. But is it worth, maybe, trying to do extension work, going off at a tangent, as surely basics will have been covered at school. Given that we're here because of the 11+, surely our children are all in the Gifted & Talented range, or pretty close thereto, so they'll have picked up the basics in class. Hey, even playing with Lego Mindstorms is extension work - learning basic programming.

Morning, Capers 123

You certainly had a busy day/ days with your dd. I am sure you are right that the children are all pretty gifted and talented range and they have picked up the basics in class.

To me, that little extra homework ( I agree that not excessive) serves some other purposes for my son.
As I mentioned in my previous post before, the idea of homework is to 1) improve knowledge 2) improve the thinking skills further 3) improve the self discipline

I came from a background that extra work is always encouraged if we can manage. My parents would let us get on with the work ourselves and provided help if asked. I appreciate that and can see the benefits it can bring. Of course, our children need to play and enjoy a happy childhood and that is why BALANCE is the key ( I must admit that it is not always easy though).

Best Regards
ED