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PostPosted: Fri Nov 16, 2018 11:56 pm 
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Eye catching title for a thread :lol:
I just saw this article on the BBC website. Apparently it's controversial.
https://bbc.in/2DGaMHZ
I don't know whether I'm more disturbed that such expensive coats for children exist or that they're bought in sufficient quantities that a school feels it needs to action it. I'm very relieved that we don't have to deal with such issues (either in our school or any of those of local friends I know) and that my children are perfectly happy in normal coats.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2018 8:21 am 
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I think this is a very sensible decision by the school. I also think all schools would be wise to have school bags with school logo and ban designer bags.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2018 8:34 am 
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More fool the parents who are prepared to pay for coats costing £1000 for their children. The word 'no' is much underused in many homes. If it were heard more frequently there would be no need to keep on banning things.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2018 8:43 am 
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I agree entirely.
However there are people getting upset about this and I imagine some of the parents want to buy these coats/bags for their children, which suggests that that the problem lies even deeper. How could anyone ever justify spending such amounts?


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2018 9:06 am 
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loobylou wrote:
I agree entirely.
However there are people getting upset about this and I imagine some of the parents want to buy these coats/bags for their children, which suggests that that the problem lies even deeper. How could anyone ever justify spending such amounts?

There are people, and I have met some of them, who genuinely believe one should give children everything they want. It is a view of parenting I have never held with myself, but for those who espouse it, this is the manifestation of love which they consider most appropriate. In my view it leads to a nasty sense of entitlement which can now be seen in many aspects of public life. But attempts to challenge it are very difficult to sustain as it is an actual world view, an ideology of parenting if you like, which starts when children are very small and wield far too much power within their families. What might look cute (if you like that kind of thing) on a tiny tot refusing to do x or y unless condition z is met, is rather less attractive when your 15 year old can't live another day without a designer coat.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2018 9:14 am 
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Location: Reading
My step brother gives his young children everything they want. Apparently my mother ruined his childhood by not giving him everything he ‘needed’ when we were young and blames the bullying he received at school (which he never told them or the school about at the time, so knowing my brother it probably didn’t happen, just him gult tripping them again) on the fact his friends had designer jeans and the like and he didn’t.

The fact my parents weren’t in a position to afford such things passes him by completely.

His children have tantrums at the slightest whiff of not getting their own way. The son has been at school a couple of years and is often getting into fights, due to not getting his own way with other children. He isn’t used to being told ‘no’.

My DD has never had a designer coat, and has never asked for one. The school in theory don’t allow coats and bags with large logos on. However I’m not sure how enforced that is.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2018 9:30 am 
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Maybe I'm just fortunate with my friends and colleagues. I really don't know anyone like this.
My ds had a friend who genuinely got everything he wanted (and it did cause a lot of jealousy for ds when he was younger) but even that family had some boundaries. Although ds does now recognise - and openly admits - that that child has a sense of entitlement that none of his other peers have and which means he doesn't persevere or try as hard when things don't come easily.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2018 9:36 am 
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loobylou wrote:
Maybe I'm just fortunate with my friends and colleagues. I really don't know anyone like this.
My ds had a friend who genuinely got everything he wanted (and it did cause a lot of jealousy for ds when he was younger) but even that family had some boundaries. Although ds does now recognise - and openly admits - that that child has a sense of entitlement that none of his other peers have and which means he doesn't persevere or try as hard when things don't come easily.


So you do know someone!

I think the sense of entitlement and lack of perseverance are totally linked to indulgent parenting. Correlation in this case does imply causation. I hope there are enough non-indulgent parents around to ensure that our children find partners, if partners they seek, who don't expect to stamp their feet and get their own way over everything.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2018 10:30 am 
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Wow...sensible move...I cannot help thinking they would do more by donating the money to the school to invest in their child’s education...no child needs such expensive clothes...it’s not healthy all round to encourage these ridiculously expensive brands...what happens if the coat get damaged or dirty? Who gets blamed and has to pay to replace? Kids need warm practical clothing to muck around in until they are able to appreciate cost and value and look after their stuff...


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2018 10:44 am 
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I just think that as a society we are far too quick to ban things, make offences out of things and legislate against things; and far too slow to look at the underlying issues which cause the problems we address in this way. Banning is very short term, leads to resentment and to ways to get round the ban. I read somewhere that the UK has more laws than any other country and a faster rate of adding more laws. Sadly that does not correspond with increasing investment in those tasked with enforcing the laws.

I can see why the school acted in this way, but what happens next week when it is shoes, or types of jumper? Unless they say that all school items can only be bought from a certain shop, or issued like in the army, this won't solve the problem even within school. Outside school the coats will still be used as bullying weapons by exclusion: social media will ensure that those with expensive coats will get their message of 'alpha dominance by designer wear' out there so it can still be used to wield power over the less fortunate.


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