11 Plus Exams Forum

Manon wrote:Assuming it doesn’t turn out to be a medical issue, you could have a look to see where your nearest Couch to 5k is running (no pun intended!), especially if you could do with getting a bit fitter yourself too. Over 8 or 9 weeks, it gets you from being a complete couch potato to being able to run 5k/for 30 mins. Even if the actual sessions are adult only - mine were - there are 'homework' runs. My then 12 year old ds came with me on my homework runs last year and was fantastic - I can hear him saying 'Come on mum, you can do it!' now! It might be easier to get her buy in to something you’re doing too, and as KCG says, you can focus on you both improving your fitness rather than it being about weight – although your weight will benefit too. You could even turn it completely on its head and make it all about you and you need her help…

The thought of the first session was a bit daunting – but I really did need to do something and when I got there, there were several overweight middle aged people like me and I didn’t feel out of place at all.

It really does work. I started in May and struggled to jog for a minute at the beginning but I did my first 10k in October. Me and ds quite regularly go for a run together at weekends now, it's a good way of spending a bit of time together, getting some fresh air, having a chat - once you get to the point where you can run and talk at the same time anyway - he knows not to expect conversation out of me even now if we're going up hill!

Might be worth a try. Good luck

Manon

Well done Manon! Sounds like me when I started riding a bike again and DS1 came out with me - we went round a circuit (it was early days and was only about 5 miles) and I was puce, exhausted, sweaty and ready to lie down in a darkened room - my son took one look at me and said "that was fun mum - can we go again?" And he meant immediately......!!

Three things.
1) You may have used the terminology inadvertently but you can't "make" someone lose weight. You can help but no more than that.
2) At 11 I would find it better if someone attended to see me (GP) without their child unless their child was already very invested/aware. The chances of its being a "medical" problem are extremely low and, whilst I would organise a blood test, I would really not want to medicalise it. I would hope that the parent would explain they were doing a blood test for a check up or something rather than talking about looking for a reason their child is overweight.
3) In adults, weight isn't as simple as calories and exercise. There's a whole lot of other factors at play. But in children it really is. If she does a lot of exercise already then the answer is going to be portion control and snack control. I actually don't dislike grazing/small meals throughout the day so long as their content is appropriate. So open access to the fruit bowl but not buying biscuits/crisps/cakes and tightly managing portion control is most of the answer.
Like Readingmum, my dd, whilst never overweight, started to gain weight and eat more around 13-14. I watched but didn't say anything. Over the last few months her appetite has normalised and she's a curvy size 10 now and very healthy. I think sometimes these things just normalise but if her BMI is very high it probably does need addressing.

I totally hear what previous poster said, I am also concerned that DD3 might end up worse (i.e. reaching even more for food) if she thinks there is something wrong with her and it is her fault. I genuinely don't know how to address the issue, but we are not talking about chubbiness here and ignoring the elephant in the room (thank God DD3 is not reading this!) would be irresponsible now at this stage.
I tried the couch potato to 5k run, thinking that I needed to be a good role model, but injured my ankle on week 3 and it took me 4 weeks to recover...
I will give her a nice bike for her coming birthday and we will go around Richmond Park, and I will involve her in menu planning and cooking!
I feel better now, thanks!

loobylou wrote:Three things.
1) You may have used the terminology inadvertently but you can't "make" someone lose weight. You can help but no more than that.
2) At 11 I would find it better if someone attended to see me (GP) without their child unless their child was already very invested/aware. The chances of its being a "medical" problem are extremely low and, whilst I would organise a blood test, I would really not want to medicalise it. I would hope that the parent would explain they were doing a blood test for a check up or something rather than talking about looking for a reason their child is overweight.
3) In adults, weight isn't as simple as calories and exercise. There's a whole lot of other factors at play. But in children it really is. If she does a lot of exercise already then the answer is going to be portion control and snack control. I actually don't dislike grazing/small meals throughout the day so long as their content is appropriate. So open access to the fruit bowl but not buying biscuits/crisps/cakes and tightly managing portion control is most of the answer.
Like Readingmum, my dd, whilst never overweight, started to gain weight and eat more around 13-14. I watched but didn't say anything. Over the last few months her appetite has normalised and she's a curvy size 10 now and very healthy. I think sometimes these things just normalise but if her BMI is very high it probably does need addressing.

Ok noted, I will go on my own to GP and bring growth chart. thanks

Bit late to this discussion, but completely understand where you are coming from. I remember when DS was in Y5 saying 'what have we done to him', 'how could we let this happen' etc? He was 'normal' size up until this point, but suddenly seemed to change. He was by no means obese, but was getting what you'd call chunky and starting to develop a bit of a wobbly chest. Over the years he has said that he feels fat, and isn't like his friend X or Y. We have explained that everyone is different, we have different genes, but he does understand that it is to do with what he eats and how much he exercises.

I'm not sure that going to the doctor will help much - think they will just say health eating, portion control and more exercise. However, worth a try.

You may find that using an app like My Fitness Pal to log everything she eats (don't let her know or see it) may help you. It will give you a clearer picture of how many calories she is consuming, how much fat, sugar, carbs etc. and where you may need to make changes. Whilst people say eat more fruit and veg, try and steer clear of pineapple, grapes etc. which are full of sugar and have more berries if possible. We always give DS a salad bowl when he comes home from school so he doesn't need as much to eat at tea and agree with KCGs comment about drinking water before a meal.

Try and get her to eat slower - chew each mouthful for 5 seconds. We find that DS eats far too quickly, and thus can end up eating more. If you're all eating together and sharing something like garlic bread or poppadoms which are in the middle of the table ensure that there is only enough for 1 or 2 each and not extras. There is nothing wrong with snacks in moderation, but a packet of Squares or French Fries have far less calories than Wheat Crunchies or Nik Naks for example, so it's a case of looking for a 'healthier' alternative of the same thing. Same with ice cream treats in the summer - go for an ice lolly instead of ice-cream. Things like this don't make it too obvious that you are doing something and she still feels like she's like her friends.

Portion control is key. If rice should be 1/2 a cup ensure it is 1/2 a cup and not more.

Appreciate that you don't want to put her off her food, and a healthy appetite is a good thing.

As others have said, exercise is key; ideally something which gets her heart rate up. Whenever you can walk instead of taking the car ensure you do. When you do have to use the car, park in the furthest point away in the car park to allow for extra walking !

4 years on, DS is now 5' 10 and so has slimmed down a bit because of this. However, he /we will always need to watch what he eats and how much of it. It is making sustainable lifestyle choices now that she will stick to going forward.