Planet Child

[Choccy74]

It always amazes me that parents are reluctant to allow their children a bit of freedom and independence but they're quite happy for them to use smart devices and social media from a young age.

It's not about not allowing them freedom and independence, it's about protecting them from potential danger; I can supervise my 9yo DD when she's at home using her tablet (she doesn't use social media, she's far too young), I wouldn't dream of sending her out anywhere on her own where she could easily be snatched.

One of the mums at school happily lets her 9yo DD walk to and from school on her own, it's a good twenty minute walk along quiet paths though a housing estate, not busy with other parents and children. Personally I think she's crazy, especially as a year or two ago when walking along these paths, she herself was approached by a man who scared her enough that she reported it to the police.

I agree that children need to learn independence, but not at the cost of their safety.

[Middlesexmum]

I wouldn't dream of sending her out anywhere on her own where she could easily be snatched

Until when? What about a short walk to the corner shop?

I read somewhere that children who aren't allowed out by themselves are MORE vulnerable because they are not building up the necessary skills to cope in a public environment and work out what they would do 'what if'.

[loobylou]

It's interesting how different people's choice are.
My children were walking to/from school alone at 10, sometimes at 9.
I would have preferred them to go the longer way (up the road) than through a field and narrow footpath... But I had to stop myself because actually I think there comes a point where you have to put independence very high up the agenda.
My children have confidently negotiated their way around London from about 12.
One of my friends has a 12 year old who she won't let go to school alone (10 minute walk and 7 minute bus journey) because she doesn't think she is mature enough.
I still get worried when my 16 year old is coming back from the theatre in London on her own. But I'll probably feel similarly when she's 26 or 36! That's what being a parent does to you I think - but I rationalised it to myself that I'd rather be anxious myself and enable them to be confident instead of over-cosetting them.

[Daogroupie]

Snatched by who?

Really when was the last time you heard of a child being snatched by strangers on their way to or from school?

Surely you know that children are murdered by people they know, not by strangers.

When was the last time you heard about a child being murdered by strangers?

You need to teach your children to be streetwise because sooner or later they will have to navigate outside the home by themselves.

My dd's primary school asked for Y6 to walk to and from school by themselves.

Catchment ensures that they live near enough unless their parents have cheated to get in and actually live further away.

My dd's were going to knock for friends in the same street from 8 years old I knew that a stranger was not going to appear from nowhere, drive down the street in broad daylight and whisk them away.

I can always tell the children of over protective parents because their curiosity has been stifled about other things, they are very passive and this really holds them back in English comprehension.

Don't teach your children the world is a scary place, teach them it is exciting and manage the risks.

9 people died on London Bridge and surrounds in 9 minutes two years ago and others on Westminster Bridge. Did it stop everyone else from being on those bridges?

Over Easter British children died in a breakfast queue in a luxury hotel.

Being alive is a risky business but you have to learn to live with it. Teaching your children that being outside is scary is really bad for them. DG

[Middlesexmum]

DG, I completely agree with you 100%.

I would also add that I teach my children not to be afraid of the dark or going outside in the evening. I hear so often people not wanting to travel at night-time because it's perceived as unsafe. I tell my children that with this attitude, they wouldn't go outside after 4pm in the winter!

Teach children to be vigilant and aware of their surroundings, they are not going to learn anything by avoiding the situation.

[Choccy74]

Snatched by who?

Really when was the last time you heard of a child being snatched by strangers on their way to or from school? DG

A few years ago actually, when a man who lived less than 400yds from our house abducted and sexually assaulted a 13 year old girl who was on her way to school - do you want the details?? I'm happy to send you the link to the BBC article if you want it.

Surely you know that children are murdered by people they know, not by strangers. DG

Not all of them.

It's part of my job to protect my children, which is why they both go to self-defence classes and have been taught not talk to strangers, the same as any responsible parent teaches their child. They are taught to be sensible, and how to manage things on their own - when we go on a train journey, my DD is the one in charge, she knows how to read timetables and stand back from the platform, and when to get on and off the train...she's quite capable of doing these things herself, I don't have her wrapped in cotton-wool and hold her hand every step of the way.

My dd's were going to knock for friends in the same street from 8 years old I knew that a stranger was not going to appear from nowhere, drive down the street in broad daylight and whisk them away. DG

You couldn't possibly KNOW this, you just assumed, and had anything ever happened I'm sure you would have been the first person to say "Oh but it always seemed like such a safe area to live". I'm sure Kate and Gerry McCann knew it would be fine to leave their three children sleeping peacefully in a holiday apartment, but look how that turned out.

I don't teach my children that everything is scary, we still go and explore unknown places, I just use my common sense and don't take unnecessary risks...the same thing I want my children to learn.

[loobylou]

Oh. My. Word.
Did anyone see programme 3?
What on earth was that pageant thing with 4 year olds dressing like grown women (and frankly like grown women without a lot of self respect)?
Thank God I don't live in the States.

[salsa]

Oh. My. Word.
Did anyone see programme 3?
What on earth was that pageant thing with 4 year olds dressing like grown women (and frankly like grown women without a lot of self respect)?
Thank God I don't live in the States.

I know, and the parents said that that was what the little girl wanted to do!
Salsa