I am the mum of three girls
I have one in year 9, one in year 7 and one is still little and sweet.
I have at times compared the teenage years to the toddler years.All the boundaries are pushed and they think the world revolves around them.
All I can say is that I think you have to pick your battles.
Does the skirt rolling out of sight matter that much....probably not really.As long as nothing too much is on show
Does the make up matter? well as long as they are not going out like Cocoa the clown... probably not.
In these stages of life, you cannot go into battle about everything.
Does disrespecting you and the household matter? Well yes I think it does.I have confiscated mobiles, laptops, docked pocket money etc.I have made them come back downstairs and walk back up without stomping.I do go into battle and it is tiring and upsetting at times.
However I think it matters we win on the important issues.If it is some comfort year 8 was much worse than year 9 .To be delicate we were building to a certain event and now I can predict cycles much more, if you know what I mean.
Everyone is different but I would not let bad language, "I hate you" and other disrespect go unpunished.I know it is hard but some battles are worth fighting.
I think they want to know where the boundaries lie.We are having a lovely spell at the moment but I think the battles will come again and reluctantly I think I will choose to fight them again.
My daughters too are at a prestigious girls' grammar and their peer group is affluent.However I have a real cross section of friends and I think this behaviour transcends school types or income.
To cut them some slack I think the pressure to conform to the wrong kind of behaviour is so strong at yr 8 ish age and within 2- 3 years, they know more who they are and where they fit in.
Not easy is it?
ps I think teenage girls have fantastic upsides.When we are all on form we have fantastic companionship.
I also think it is worth allowing the late night chats (when they are trying to extend bedtime)It is often when their worries come out. A hot chocolate date at a coffee lounge does wonders too for relations. Good luck x