Parents Evenings-5 Mins What do you ask? What should you?

[Warks mum]

Had our parents' evening yesterday.

Didn't have an appointment with the PE teacher but she was always sitting on her own when we were passing so we had a chat anyway... She was lovely!

[mystery]

Hi,our first parents evening in secondary school is coming up and we get a 5 minute slot with each teacher. (same everywhere I guess) I wondered what we should be asking from a parents and a teachers perspective to get the most out of it.

How did it go? Every parent and very teacher and every school seems to have a different take on what parents' evening is for. I remember being on the teacher side of the table - we weren't told what it was for either. It's just considered a "good idea" to have them.

Hope you found it useful. Even if it wasn't it just signals to DCs that you are interested, and some of them do get worried that you'll come home with something dreadful a teacher said about them.

[browneyedgirl]

Hi Mystery - many thanks, our parents evening not til after half term. DD got her appt timesheet for teachers Fri then (she who's never ill picked up a virus) so times will be whats left when she's back in tomorrow. However, having read all the comments quite relaxed about it & we'll just go early and slot in when someones free. Always felt in primary parents evenings would be more useful if you had just had their report as a basis to discuss(sounds like in some schools they do that) ours was always a bit vague. Tis early days for us though so we'll see what they think of her. Thanks everyone for your replies x

[Snowdrops]

We had DD's parent evening a couple of weeks ago. They run from (I think) 4.30 to 7.30 but OH likes to use it as an excuse to work from home that day so we can get there on time and be away at a reasonable time too. We get to choose who we see (unless it's a teacher who has 'problem' kids and they run out of slots and they 'need' to prioritise and see their parents instead of us - fair enough!)

We've never bothered with PE and went once to art, but didn't bother after that as knew DD wasn't taking it further. I also stayed away from any of the 'technologies' and never took notes.

We always enjoy the tea/coffee and cakes on offer (all towards the PTA funds) and use the occasion as a meeting point for some of DD's friend's parents who we haven't seen in a while - it's a nice social event

We always have reports sent out a few weeks before, so have a good idea of how things are. Some interestingly different comments have been made by different teachers on the same subject from year to year. The only thing I've been disappointed in is DD gave up Latin ( ) and no-one contacted me to discuss it (apart from DD - but it was an extra curricular and her choice to do it in the first place so I left it up to her to decide ). We sit and listen (they usually address DD first and ask for her take on things) and then comment/question after that.

And, just to show how dedicated I am to Parents Evening, I not only attend every single one (and I have done for all 3 of mine, in fear of being seen as a bad parent) I also babysit for the two next door when their parents (who are teachers) go, several times a year, to sit on the other side of the desks

[Mamonaku]

In defence of note takers at parents' evening, I tend to write a few notes when at parents' evening because I find that the act of writing information down helps to embed it in my memory. Once I've written it down I can often recall the information rather than having to re-read it to jog my memory.

My memory is more visual than aural. It was the same for me at uni. If I wanted to remember something I needed to read it or write the information down rather than just listening to someone, so I was a note-taker.

I go to parents' evening internally rolling my eyes at narrow minded people who are internally rolling their eyes at me just for making a few notes. We aren't all the same!

[Daogroupie]

You have to wonder why it bothers them so much! Is there not some research about the percentage of how much of what you are told you forget within a very small period of time? To see that many teachers in such a small period of time and to hold in your head what you have said to them and what they have said to you is unrealistic. Of course it depends on how important it is to you. I want to be able to review it when I get home and compare it to last year. It is astonishing how differently teachers can perceive your dc's. It does seem to be a lot down to that rather than what my dd is doing. Why would she change so dramatically in subjects from one year to the next? The only consultation that was consistent to last year was in the one subject where she has the same teacher. I find writing things down helps me to absorb them. It is how I revise, read something and rewrite it in my own words. I find it very interesting reading about all the different ways that parents approach parents evening. I felt I had to adjust my approach for every teacher according to the way they started the discussion if there actually was one. Some teachers just talk at you so there is no discussion! DG

[Pumpkin Pie]

Must admit, I've never noticed anyone taking notes at a parents evening. Has anyone ever brought a tape recorder?

[Looking for help]

I've never taken notes, I tend to know (from books/E&A grade sheets etc) where the problem areas are (if there are any) and pay most attention to those. I will also remember any highlights/low points from the previous year's , year 7 tends to be a bit less stressy unless there are behavioural issues.

I think the main point of these is for the child themselves to actually hear what the teacher thinks of them and their progress.

When you are only given 5 minutes if there are issues they can't possibly be addressed in the time, and would need a follow up appointment I think.

I remember one particular parent's evening when my oldest was 16 (it was his birthday), he was in y11 and he was behaving like an eejit at school (not bothering to do any work if possible). It was a low point of the highest order. One of the teachers he really liked said that if he didn't turn it around there and then he would amount to nothing (I think it was a bit of an exaggeration). However it was exactly the kick up the bottom my son needed. He was very very quiet in the car on the way home, had a real talk to himself and turned it all around. I also grounded him for the rest of year 11, bought him some tickets for the Reading Festival if he promised to do exactly what was asked of him as a carrot .

To this day I actually think it was the teacher who made the difference, but he had a great time at the Reading Festival as well

[mystery]

Sorry to ask, but what exactly do people mean by grounding? And how would you do it to a 16 year old?

[Looking for help]

Prevent them from going to places/see friends for a period of time

Quite easy with a 16 year old who lived far from friends and places to socialise ie would require parental help with getting there and back and / or money for the socialising / busfare.

The grounding lasted about a day or two, I was exaggerating just a tad